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Unassisted Mamas Sept '07

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I know that a couple other 9/07 mamas were lurking in the unassisted childbirth db so I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread about it here. We can talk, chat and discuss our thoughts and concerns about UC/UP.
Right now I think that I will be having an UC or "freebirth." I really feel confident in my body and I think that especially with my current circumstances this is the best option. I may change my mind and just have a HB with a MW but I am not sure, I figure I have another 8 months to think about it! My last labor was great and it was basically unassisted even though I gave birth in a hospital - about 2 minutes after I got there..lol..
post #2 of 20
Wishing you mamas all the best!
post #3 of 20
I'm thinking about it. I actually think it will be more like the baby arrives before the midwife... No way I could convinc DH to go completely UC. This is my 4th baby and I'm feeling pretty serene. My last pregnancy and birth were fairly easy.
post #4 of 20
I am seriously considering it.

My first birth was in another state with a wonderful midwife that was very hands off and did not do anything unless we asked for it/needed her. I'm thankful she was there though (retained placenta and a hemorrhage).

I have a very strong feeling about doing things in a similar way this time but I am having problems finding anyone who can/will legally work with me.

We have been interviewing midwives and they all have made some very scary statements about the legality of UC in Florida. Basically saying that we could lose out kids if anything happened and we had to transfer, we could be arrested and that we would not be able to get a birth certificate. I do have a hard time believing that a normal body function can be made illegal. (If anyone has any insight on this please let me know.)

My out of state midwife will come and assist me (I still can't believe this!) but is planning on being here starting around my due date. DH is FREAKED at the idea of the baby arriving before my due date and having no backup.

So we are thinking about using a local midwife for prenatal care, pre due date labor, medical connections if we need to transfer and birth certificate but just not calling her until the baby has been born (letting our out of state midwife attend for peace of mind).

I know this is not exactly UC but it seems like a good idea for peace of mind and to avoid legal problems should we need medical care.
post #5 of 20
We're considering an "oops, that was fast." Last time I had 2 hours of labour after the midwife got there, and I was asleep and not contracting for an hour and 45 minutes of it. The chances are good that this one might turn up before the midwife does.
post #6 of 20
WOW! What glorious labours you have had! Asleep for the end of labour? In my wildest dreams!

While we are not planning UC, we are planning a hands-off birth with a midwife standing by in another room. Last time I had a PPH that resulted in the need for intervention (especially since it's hard to eat placenta when you're unconscious, kwim?)...so we do believe my body knows how to birth a baby all on its own, and should do so, but we have first hand experience with an unpredictable and unavoidable emergency at delivery that we could not handle ourselves (and ended up needing surgical intervention ultimately). So, we're UC in spirit, but will have trusted help at hand just in case.
post #7 of 20
Hi. I went unassisted with a doula last time. From what I understand if you don't have a Mw, it's still considered uc. Anyways, it was awesome and beautiful and just perfect. So I def. feel like I could do it again. BUT, the thing is that my friend that was my doula is now training to be a mw and she expects to be there. She will be doing my prenatal care througout the pregnancy and I would never feel like I could just not call her during the actual labor. She would be so sad to not see my sec. child born. She has become my best friend. So I know I will have her there, but part of me wishes I wouldn't. I would love to just have me and my dh there. I'm def. getting someone to get my first child to take him elsewhere. I found birth to be a very internal experience for me. A very quiet experience and a very intimate experience for me and my dh. When my friend was the doula, she didn't really do anything expect sit and watch and be still and quiet. She is a very handsoff mw too so she won't intervene unless necessary. Anyways, sorry to ramble, but it is something I've been thinking a lot about.
post #8 of 20
I was going to get in touch with you to talk about maybe being a doula for me and then I see you post on here!!! We're due within days of each other. We haven't decided what we're going to do yet with that. The only other doula I know around here is MsDoula isn't it? That's who you're talking about isn't it?
post #9 of 20
Hi Stacy!
I was just going to PM you and will in a minute. But man, I would have LOVED to be your doula! But yes, MS doula is the other one. But we are doing a training this weekend and there will be a couple more around. Lets see what we can do for you! PM you in a sec.
post #10 of 20
Originally Posted by sanguine_speed View Post
WOW! What glorious labours you have had! Asleep for the end of labour? In my wildest dreams!
A fast birth just creates different kinds of problems, IME. To be honest, if I had a choice between the half an hour of hard pushing, shoulder dystocia and pph for Isaac and Skye's what-the-hell-just-happened-why-is-there-a-baby-in-my-bed birth, I'd take hard and gruelling every time, even with the worry and the fainting and stuff.
This time, I've ordered another gentle painless first stage from the labour fairies but with regular contractions so I know to get to my nest, a nice long pushing phase so I know to get to my "nest" and not birth on top of an unprotected white duvet, an interesting variation on normal (I quite fancy another babe born in the caul) and nice smooth quick third stage. In my nest. This is my last homebirth, and my last baby, and I'm gunning for the perfect romantic homebirth ideal. None of the "whoops, the baby fell down the toilet" crap this time.
Sorry for the derailment.: This is just kind of a big issue for me.
post #11 of 20
I hope we both get what we are hoping for! I would take the "oops it fell out" for sure!!!
post #12 of 20
I'm thinking about it... or I have been. Unfortunately, although I know a lot of people who support and do homebirth (yay!), I know no one who has done a UC and even my homebirth friends aren't really that supportive. Or let's say, not enthusiastic. I'm doubting DH will be that comfortable with it either, though who knows; maybe he'll surprise me.

I was pretty worked up about this earlier this week. What upset me the most was that, as I tried to "defend" my choice to opponents real and imaginary, I realized that what was happening was that I was losing my humility. You know? On one hand, I think it would be the awesomest thing ever to do it myself (with DH's support as warranted it) -- and I believe that I can.

But I'm susceptible (more than I realized) to the horror stories, the pressure. And so I started to feel like my insistence that I wanted to UC was turning out to be more egocentric than I wanted it to be. About me, what I could do, how I was going to do all the right preparation. Essentially, how I could through force of will control outcomes. It started to feel like I would do it all myself to prove others wrong. About birth, or about me, maybe. And that this, let's call it orneriness, would get in the way of my being able to change my mind, to admit vulnerability if I decided later that I needed help.

Which seemed wrong. So now where I am is, I'm pretty sure we'll interview a midwife or two in a few weeks. And there's a good chance we'll hire one, if we find on that seems hands-off enough. I want to birth alone, but I kinda want some company through prenatal stuff. It's fun to share excitement.

And then, either the midwife will come to the birth... or she won't. Like someone else said, I've got like almost 8 months to decide. It's kind of weird that I've already had such an emotional engagement with this issue but, I have.

Thanks for the company and for letting me ramble.
post #13 of 20
Minnow- I completely understand everything you are going through. Prob. most ppl that uc go through similar feelings. I mean you do have to be aware and concerned to some degree about the "what ifs". and you do have to really look this choice in the face and ask yourself "why do I truly want to do this? Do i trust birth, or do I have something to prove?" I think you are being smart about it to think about it so thouroghly b/c as safe as birth is, there are still inherent risks. I do suggest getting midwifery care throughout though, b/c then you are still taking care of yourself and baby in that way, you have someone to answer questions. Someone to be supportive, another woman to understand and be Postive about it in this not so positive world of birth. And then you don't have to call her if you dont want. That's completely up to you. I am pretty sure you will find support on here for your choice. PM me if you have some ?, as I did do a UC, or if you would just like to have some help thinking about it further.
post #14 of 20
I am planning my second UP/UC with my fourth baby. I am due mid september and am so excited to be giving birth in my own home. I have had three great births already and hope this will be the final amazing birth. I plan to have my hubby, kids and one or two friends here. My last baby was born peacefully in water with just his dad watching and taking pictures. (story in sig line) These will be my two closest babies so that is my main focus of learning right now. I have never nursed through a pregnancy or had two closer together than almost 6 years. It will be interesting with a high needs toddler. I look forward to getting to know you all.
post #15 of 20
Thread Starter 
Honestly my only "fear" with uc is the umbilical cord and the placenta. This might sound weird or strange, and after four births I'm not a stranger to the cord but I just have a strage relationship with it - in my hospital births they disposed of the placenta, they disposed of the cord. In an UC you have to cut the cord yourself - how will I know when the time is right> Has anyone thought about or had a Lotus birth? This is when you leave baby attached to cord and placenta until it falls off naturally.
post #16 of 20
I didn't have a lotus birth (thought about it) but I didn't think I could deal with carrying around the placenta with the baby. We cut the cord after about an hour when it was white and limp. I just sat on the couch with him wrapped up and his cord going to the placenta in a bowl. We even drew cord blood to check his blood type, which was really easy. We used braided embroidery floss to tie his cord before cutting. My husband has always just buried my placentas in the yard. I found the cord and placenta very easy to deal with.
post #17 of 20
Oh, Jamie -- thanks for your reply. I may PM you in a bit when I've got just a bit less on my plate!

Great inspiration on this thread.
post #18 of 20
Hi Mamas! I'm almost positive we will be UCing. Just feeling like the right way to go for us. I haven't read all of the responses, but I wilL!
post #19 of 20

I am thinking about it

I am probably going to have an UC this time. I feel really capable and my body knows what to do when in labor, I also have a very easy time in labor and really just love it. My last pregnany was really easy and I did not go to my midwife until I was 16 weeks- at that point she said "wow you really are pregnant" when she felt my tummy, I knew exactly how far along I was, I had been monitoring myself and I felt as if the monthly visits were just a waste of time and effort. So this time I am going to do most of the work myself. I am also a doula and I was studying midwifery so I feel really knowledgable about this.
post #20 of 20
I absolutely loved my Unassisted Pregnancy last time. It was so freeing to just do all my own care. If I had an issue I didn't have to wait a month until my next midwife appt., I just dealt with it. I felt so in tune and in touch with my body and my baby. I am really looking forward to it all again.
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