Helping my dd with anniversary of dads passing

[Czen:)]

Please let me introduce myself. I have been a member here for years but never noticed this forum. I am the mom of four girls and frequent the forums related to whatever stages we are are currently at. I hope you don't mind me just popping in for a little bit of advice.

My oldest DD (16 yo) lost her dad (my 1st husband) last year. We are coming up on the anniversary date in March. She hasn't mentioned that it is coming but I expect the day to be difficult. Even I feel the pain of it and her father and were divorced for 13 years! I want to be proactive and maybe present her with some ideas to mark the day. Our town has a memorial in which you can plant a rather large tree in someones name. I would love to do that but it costs $300. Out of our budget! And I don't want to plant anything on this property because I know we won't liver here forever and that will make moving difficult. What if the next owner cut the tree down? ugh!

So does anyone have any ideas of what we could do? I'd be willing to pay up to $100 for this.

Thanks for reading!
Czen

[Blu Razzberri]

For starters; to you and your daughter on this upcoming especially hard day.

What about doing something that could move with you? What about something like, going to the local craft store and buying a small nice wooden "treasure chest" and starting a memorial box that your daughter can keep and refer to when she needs to feel close. It could also have in it a journal to write down happy memories of him; and another journal where she can 'talk' to him and write through how she feels (perhaps this one should have a lock so she can write freely - privacy is such a big deal when you're 16 - and still keep it in the box). You could have a silver plaque engraved with something -like his name- and afixed to the front or top of the box. Put photo's in the box; maybe an article of his clothing, notes he might have written...anything that can create a happy place to feel close to dad.

If you want to do a tree, you could go to WalMart or the plant store and buy a potted palm or another nice potted tree and keep it in the livingroom. (Note: I heard that potted palms are hard to keep alive; so you might want to look that up first).

I hope this anniversary day brings some peace and feelings of closure for your daughter.

[Czen:)]

thanks for the ideas. She already has the chest going. My mom actually started it for her during his illness. She did a great job! And I also purchased her a grieving journal this summer.

I decided to just ask her what she wanted to do and she chose planting a tree in our yard. I'm a bit freaked out about the preassure of keeping it alive! We're not exactly gardeners around here!

Thanks again!
Czen