Why do people want there 3 & 4 year olds to write and read? - Page 2

[Ruthla]

I think it goes back to the same kind of thinking that makes people want their babies weaned, walking ,etc early- like kids are somehow "better" if they turn into adults sooner.

Sure, some kids are ready to read and/or write at 3 or 4, but most aren't. I think that most people simply don't respect what little kids ARE and can do, and try to push them into being "bigger kids" sooner.

[Ruthla]

whoops, double post.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by falcon

Some kids are really ready to read or write at 3 or 4, pressure-free. Some kids need take a few more years. I think either way is fine, I'd want any kids I have to read and/or write whenever they are ready

I agree. Some kids are ready. I was. My two oldest did, too. I barely taught the letters (we sang the ABCs) and such, and dd#1 taught herself how to read, basically, at age 4.5. My son watched her and is reading pretty well for a 4 yo, no instruction or pressure.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by doriansmummy

Im just wondering why someone would think a 3 or 4 year old should read and write?

Because reading is so much fun, I wanted to share that joy with my children as soon as possible. My dd picked up reading at 4, but my son is currently 4 and hasn't picked up reading yet. No pressure.

[maplesugar]

I taught myself how to read at age three without prompting. It was a natural thing for me, I guess. My son, on the other hand, is just starting to read at age 8. I certainly don't think I was any smarter that ds. We just have different strengths, and that is OK with me. I was a kid who loved to do workbooks and geeky stuff like that. I am still avery bookish person. I'll admit that there have been times where I think to myself "what is wrong with this boy that it's taking so dang long...", but I try to not convey this to ds. There is a misconception that reading equals smart, but so many people tell me that ds is one of the smartest kids they have ever met. Reading will come in its own time. Ds has taught me this lesson well.

[HollyBearsMom]

So that they can learn the difference between "their" and "there"??

[luvmybabies]

I agree pressuring them is NOT ok. But I am also ok with teaching them if they want to learn. You do need to know when to take a step back if needed though. Ds and dd asked me to teach them to read. I wouldn't have felt right if I had said no, do it on your own. You know? But IMO that isn't the same as MAKING them learn when they don't want to, as is the case so often in schools.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Rivka5

Yeah, that about sums it up. Someone in another thread mentioned a hardcore Waldorf mom who removed all books and magazines from the house when her four-year-old wanted to learn to read. That almost made me cry - the poor child! It's as bad as forcing reading lessons on a kid who doesn't want them. Maybe worse... because it seems so spiteful.

I knew one who told me she'd given her daughter notice that she was going to have to give her little plastic ponies to the thrift store. "It's time!" she said. I saw the little girl in the other room lovingly combing their hair - but her time with them was limited. And I knew of another who took her son's Brio train away from him because a teacher told her a child that age should not be playing with something that was limited to a track. I gasped, and she dismissed it with, "Oh, he only cried for half an hour." I doubt that any of these people would do things like that if they had the kind of sanity and perspective that comes by the time children have grown. - Lillian

[tuffykenwell]

Its a funny thing, my DS was just desperate to learn to read so we started Headsprout...he whizzed through the first half so he started the second....at about the 1/2 way point he hit a wall and it was no longer fun and it took me a few days to figure it out (guess I am the slow learner huh?)

I think sometimes you can start out child led and still fall into the trap of thinking that all of these amazing things they are doing are somehow a reflection of your skillful parenting

So now every week or so he asks to do a lesson...every week or so he decides to write/spell something and I have put him back in the driver's seat and decided to stick with what I do best and what we enjoy most...reading a bucket load of books and occasionally throwing some baking soda and vinager into a pop bottle so we can watch the volcano together

Steph

[tarheelbaby]

I love to read and hope to instill this love in my son. He's always been read to and will sit by himself and "read" his books. He knows his ABCs and can write some of them...and recently he's asked me "What does this say?" so we've started working together more and more. However, it's all at his pace. Some days we work more than others, if he gets antsy or distracted, we quit.
I think some people can get caught up in the competitiveness of it all. If your kid can read or write at an early age, s/he is brilliant and you're a "good" parent.

[RedWine]

I want my own 4 year old to read and write because she LOVES to! It was obvious, very early on ,that she had a thing for letters and phonics. She is following her own natural developmental course.

I have a 22 month old. Who knows what her natural developmental course is? I look forward to find ing out, and helping/nudging/nurturing her along.

[mandib50]

kids are expected to read by the time they leave kindergarten where i live.
i don't get it myself, i think it's waaaay to early considering that the vast majority of 3 and 4 year olds are NOT ready to read or write. some, but i'd say it's a pretty small minority.

whatever happened to kids being kids?

or maybe i'm just jealous cuz 7 seems to be the age in my house where my kids start reading

[RedWine]

double post

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by maplesugar

There is a misconception that reading equals smart, but so many people tell me that ds is one of the smartest kids they have ever met. Reading will come in its own time. Ds has taught me this lesson well.

I think there's probably often a different kind of intelligence at play with those who learn reading at an older age - that their minds are simply working in a different way, with a different kind of focus. And it all comes out equal in the end. Lillian

[Lovenest]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

So that they can learn the difference between "their" and "there"??

Was that comment to me? If so, thanks for the laugh!:

[lauracd]

Oh my gosh. These two stories actually make me sick to my stomach! That seems so needlessly cruel! My son has toys that to anyone else looks like they need go to a garbage pile (a toy truck with only three wheels) and yet he plays with those items nearly every day. I remember playing with dolls until I was a young teenager and then being shamed into putting them away. Trying to stunt naturaly curiousity or play.....I don't understand at all......

As for the other thread. My son is learning to read now at the age of 5. At 4 he showed an interest in phonics and I got a leap frog video for him to watch but we never went any further than that until this month. I think there is a lot of pressure for homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers to get their children reading early. I didn't read until I was 6 and have been an avid reader ever since.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivka5 View Post
Yeah, that about sums it up. Someone in another thread mentioned a hardcore Waldorf mom who removed all books and magazines from the house when her four-year-old wanted to learn to read. That almost made me cry - the poor child! It's as bad as forcing reading lessons on a kid who doesn't want them. Maybe worse... because it seems so spiteful.
I knew one who told me she'd given her daughter notice that she was going to have to give her little plastic ponies to the thrift store. "It's time!" she said. I saw the little girl in the other room lovingly combing their hair - but her time with them was limited. And I knew of another who took her son's Brio train away from him because a teacher told her a child that age should not be playing with something that was limited to a track. I gasped, and she dismissed it with, "Oh, he only cried for half an hour." I doubt that any of these people would do things like that if they had the kind of sanity and perspective that comes by the time children have grown. - Lillian

[chalupamom]

Originally Posted by mandib50

kids are expected to read by the time they leave kindergarten where i live.
i don't get it myself, i think it's waaaay to early considering that the vast majority of 3 and 4 year olds are NOT ready to read or write. some, but i'd say it's a pretty small minority.

whatever happened to kids being kids?

or maybe i'm just jealous cuz 7 seems to be the age in my house where my kids start reading

I'm not sure about kids with reading and writing interests so young being in "the minority" - just about every kid I know had some level of capability in both before their fifth birthdays came along. Granted, that's anecdotal and completely inadmissable in a court of sociology (joke! it's a joke...) but I think it's revealing.

I've actually had the opposite problem where I've encountered many people who assume that because a 3 or 4 year old has a level of reading and writing that they have been pressured in some way. Believe me, there's just as little tolerance for any given child's natural development in terms of younger kids reading as there is for some kids reading later. I've also seen a great deal of parental pride in being the one who was sooooo tolerant of his/her own child's natural unfolding that the kid waited until age 9 or 10 to read - as if that were somehow indicative of superior parenting, too. These parents are just as invested in seeing their personal desired outcome vis-a-vis reading and writing as any who would have preferred an earlier start.

I chalk it up to people having a very hard time minding their own store.

[falcon]

Ditto what chalupamom said. I didn't think it was very unusual for kids to start reading before age 5, as that is what dh and I both did, and our son seems to be the same way. I really don't agree with pressuring, kids should be having fun

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I was public schooled, but didn't do much in the way of pre-school. I was reading full Dr. Seuss books by the age of 4. My mom read all the time, so I suspect the environment helped there.

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by doriansmummy

Was that comment to me? If so, thanks for the laugh!:

I couldn't resist! Now back to your regularly scheduled thread!