favourite grief and loss books for kids?

[napless]

My son Sebastian died on December 12.

Our local library doesn't have much in the way of resources for kids about death. I have two older boys (6 and 4) and I've been reading to them what I can find on the topic. It has started some good discussions. (I like Lifetimes and The Death Book.)

I received some money from friends for a tribute to Sebastian. I've decided to use it to donate some books to the library in Sebastian's memory. Anyone know any good titles? I've found lists of titles, but nothing to indicate which ones are good and which ones aren't.

(Also - any suggestions for good titles for parents who have lost a child? The only one I've found so far basically just said, "Yeah, this hurts. This really hurts. This is really going to hurt forever." I know that already - I'm looking for something a bit more helpful.)

[Ambrose]

Hmm- these are the ones i got when Lasius dies-

Baby Angels
I Miss You
We Had an Angel Instead


If you go to the pregnancy and Loss Forum you might get some more suggestions.


And BTW- your idea of donating books like this IS SUCH AN AWESOME IDEA and very very selfless!

[Ambrose]

Here is some I randomly found on Amazon- You could read the reviews or description of the books to get a feel about how they are. These are in the CHildren's ages 4-8 section btw


http://www.amazon.com/Liddle-Buddy-J...e=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Ragtail-Rememb...e=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Boat-M...e=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/Bug-Cemetery-F...e=UTF8&s=books

[napless]

Thanks, Ambrose.

I followed your links and made a great list.

I watched Lasius' video. What a lovely baby. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[box_of_rain]

My older son has responded really well to this book - he's had a lot of loss in his life and we've used this book every time.

The Next Place.

[hahamommy]

I love that book, too!! We read it at Hannah's memorial service, I'm glad for the reminder to get it back out again...
For Hayden, we received When Someone VERY Special Dies:Children CAN Learn to Cope with Grief by Marge Heegaard to be illustrated by children. He's not actually *used* it as it was intended, but it's laying around and a couple conversations have been sparked by whatever page opens.
For me, I've not liked the most of the grieving parent books I've received... I've gotten the most out of Pema Chodron's The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times and When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Difficult Times; I also got some great inspiration from Tich Nhat Hahn's Anger. Oh, I almost forgot Home with God: In a Life That Never Ends by Neale Donald Walsch (this recommend doesn't come lightly... this series really spoke to me and this book, in particular, had divine timing - arriving just weeks into my mourning).

Sebastian
~diana

[napless]

Thanks, Molly and Diana

I'll definitely order The Next Place.

Diana, have you thought of writing a book for grieving parents? The most helpful thing I've read so far has been your blog!

[hahamommy]

I'm glad you benefit from my words. I do know that I am called to do something... I don't know if it's the memorial service shift or a book or, or, or...
When I was reminded of The Next Place, I remembered how I want to get another copy of On the Day You Were Born and create an altered book On the Day You Were Released. It was also recommended that I begin a book with transcribing a talk I gave last September, entitled: Unschooling Life and Death. It's all out there... whirly swirly... I gotta put this (currently acute) sad energy into something beautiful and accepting and understanding and expressive and honorable and happy (it's all about the journey!).
Have you thought of doing some art with the boys? ATCs are great! I've done some Hannah/Mitch themed cards and it opened amazing connections and conversations and memories and JOY and tears and laughter...
Okay, now I'm rambling... I should continue this diatribe on my own blog

Namaste,
~diana

[napless]

Diana,

What are ATCs?

We have been working on decorating a memory box for Sebastian - each of us decorated one side of a cardboard box, in which we put the special toys, clothes, books and so on that most remind us of him. (He was just 19 months old when he died.) Making the box, and talking about it, was a good and healing process.

Looking forward to whatever comes forth on Unschooling Life and Death! We are life learners too.

Thinking of you during this sad season of the anniversaries.

Ellen

[hahamommy]

We have boxes like that, my friend Mary made them for us. Pictures in the lids and little sacred hannah-like tchotchkes; it's nice to have the for those moments when you just need a little touchstone.

Here's the Wikipedia on ATCs. There is an organized Tribe of art trades is you're ever up for it, e-mail me they're incredibly fulfilling!

[gingerstar]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Hospice gave us a book for kids by Marc Brown (the guy who does Arthur) called When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death which is very factual in a way that kids can understand - it was good for opening discussions and taking away some of the mystery and fear for my kids.
I also think that it is a wonderful thing you are doing, getting books as a memorial.
HTH.