10 mo tantrums

[waterbabee]

My 10 mo dd discovered last week how to throw tantrums. Oh boy. She freaks out about anything from me not letting her get into something to changing her clothes. If I am doing anything to her that she doesn't want me to do, it's screaming, arching her back, and tears. Up until this point, she has been an incredibly happy and content child. I don't know how to react to these tantrums. Should I console her every time? Is she just trying to get her way and a reaction out of me?
A woman named Aletha Solter wrote the article "Keeping the Peace" in this months Mothering. It says she has written a book on tantrums. I was wondering if anyone has read this book? Or know of any others that might help?

Elise-mama to Zoe Lea

[Jish]

Elise, since you haven't gotten any responses in LWAB, I'm going to move this to the Gentle Discipline forum. I'm sure the wonderful ladies there will have great advice for you.

[Alexander]

I have to admit that I have not had to deal with many tantrums. In fact nearly none, so I am definately not an expert on that. However....

Since the screeming / crying occurs as you try to change her imediate or personal environment, I wonder if she is not at a stage where she is establishing her personal boundaries.

Do you ask her before changing her?

Thus: if she does not want to change out of pie-jams, don't.

Is the thing she is reaching for dangerous, or just inconvienient for you?

Thus: let her have it.


The "unreasonable" tantrums.

Anyhow, I judge each one then decide what to do.

The menu I choose from includes:

Throwing a tantrum too, mimicking hers,

Drowning her in love snd kisses,

Blowing mega raspberries on her tummy,

absolutely not turning a hair,

Putting on some Mozart (claranet cocerto) or Vivaldi's 4 seasons,

making lots of funny faces.


There are probably more but whatever they are, humor is probably a part of it.

Coerse less and enjoy life.

a

[Laurel]

My almost 10-month-old has started throwing tantrums too. I thought I had a few more months before he hit that stage of life!

I have wondered too how I should react. I've thought quite a bit on it, and I feel that I need to console and comfort him through them and after them. I don't think that he's doing it to get his way--he's doing it to express frustration or disagreement with what's happening, and I think it's perfectly acceptable for him to have and express feelings about what's happening to him. Of course there are times when for his own safety or health or whatever, things have to be the way they are--but he can still tell the world that he doesn't like it.

[Piglet68]

I couldn't have said it any better, Laurel.

So...ditto what she said, lol.

[waterbabee]

I agree that it is just her learning how to express herself and with crying being her only form of communication, that is how she tells me that she does not like what is happening. It's just sometimes she's inconsolable, so I'm working on creating fewer of these tantrum-causing situations.
I have done a little reading since I posted this and have come up with a few ideas. I've been working on completely babyproofing her immediate environment so that I am not having to take things away that she can't have. I am giving her a special toy every time I change her diaper. If she does grab something she can't have, I exchange it for something she can have and tell her why I am doing this. Anyways, just a few things I've come up with.

Elise-mama to Zoe Lea