does the thought of teenagers scare you? - Page 3

[Cherie2]

I think those of us who "escaped" drugs when we were younger have no idea the damage meth can do to a person. My dd just skinned her knees with it .. thank god but I worry how easily she could slip back in .... I work in a psychiatric office and some of the most psychotic cases are those recovering from meth. (and i really mean psychotic)

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by UUMom

I disagree it's just about the parents. I think our violent society and our belief that drugs cure all ( big pharm and others) can screw a good kid up.

I have a friend who was as AP as they come. Her son is now 27 and a barely-recovering meth addict.

He was born at home, nursed until he was not quite 4, and was never vax'd.

He was hs'd until he went to high school. He went to a 'good' college' and was a rocking kid. But he did get involed with drugs in college and while his hippie parents escaped, he was sucked under beginning at age 18.

I keep this dear family in mind whenever I feel too cocky.

I have to confess I kind of forget about meth. It wasn't part of the scene when I went through school...and I would have avoided it like the plague. I was always afraid of anything with a serious rep for being highly addictive.

[Arduinna]

It's a rare person IME that becomes a true drug addict that doesn't have a significant history of past abuse.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

It's a rare person IME that becomes a true drug addict that doesn't have a significant history of past abuse.

I've known drug addicts without any history of abuse. In experiments, rats given access to cocaine will choose the drug over food, to the point where they starve to death. Drug addiction is a chemical reaction in the brain and, if given the oportunity, everyone has the same susceptibility.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

I've known drug addicts without any history of abuse. In experiments, rats given access to cocaine will choose the drug over food, to the point where they starve to death. Drug addiction is a chemical reaction in the brain and, if given the oportunity, everyone has the same susceptibility.

I'm not trying to be snarky, but what "opportunity"? I had many, many, many opportunities to try cocaine. I wasn't at all susceptible, because I never tried it. Knowing that it's addictive, and watching people flush their lives down the toilet on it, made it seem like a pretty stupid move.

I understand that these drugs are addictive, but I really don't think your average, mostly happy kid from a good home is going to take the risk. Maybe my view is biased by the fact that every drug addict I've ever known (too many) had a crappy background...not necessarily abuse per se, but crappy nonetheless. I suppose there have to be at least a certain percentage who get nabbed at just the wrong time (eg. just brokeup with a gf/bf) or who have a pre-existing problem (eg. depression) that leads them into some bad decisions.

I definitely know there are no guarantees - I just hope ds1 avoids this stuff. It scares me, knowing that his dad is an addict, and three of his grandparents are addicts.

[UnschoolnMa]

My kids and I talk about drug use often. My Dh used to smoke quite a bit of pot back in the day, but I've never even smoked a cigarette. I did drink a bit as a teen though. I've made my feelings about cigarette use pretty clear (I'm not a fan ), and we've talked about responsible drinking for most of their lives.

There were two episodes that had both Dh and I over doing it on alcohol (first him, and me another time) when the kids were very young. Ds is the only one who remembers it, and it's served as a good way to talk about how sneaky intoxication can be, and how fast it can hit you. If the kids eventually choose to smoke some pot now and then I'm not going to freak out. I hope they always think about what they are doing and the potential consequences though.

Meth and other such drugs scare the living hell out of me. Ds's father is an addict in recovery, and we've watched many friends' have their lives ruined by the stuff.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I'm not trying to be snarky, but what "opportunity"?

I meant if you give the drug the opportunity. Maybe a person is in a car accident and prescribed pain killers, after a certain amount of use they might find themselves addicted. Or, maybe a young adult is in a situation with friends that use drugs and they decide to try it...

I had many, many, many opportunities to try cocaine. I wasn't at all susceptible, because I never tried it. Knowing that it's addictive, and watching people flush their lives down the toilet on it, made it seem like a pretty stupid move.

Yeah, I never had a problem staying away from addictive drugs either (and my family actually was abusive). I think it could be personality--some people are bigger risk takers.

I understand that these drugs are addictive, but I really don't think your average, mostly happy kid from a good home is going to take the risk.

It's probably more the case that a person is less likely to take the risk if they are happy and self-confidant. And, of course, our kids pick up on our attitudes about drugs, also the guidance and teaching a parent has given a child certainly makes a difference.

But, there are good kids with good parents that try drugs, and some of them develop addictions. When a parent recognizes that it can happen to anyone they are better able to give their children the guidance they need to hlep them avoid these problems, and for those that do face addiction they can skip the blame--it's no one's fault--and focus on getting better.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

I meant if you give the drug the opportunity. Maybe a person is in a car accident and prescribed pain killers, after a certain amount of use they might find themselves addicted. Or, maybe a young adult is in a situation with friends that use drugs and they decide to try it... Yeah, I never had a problem staying away from addictive drugs either (and my family actually was abusive). I think it could be personality--some people are bigger risk takers.

I've got sexual abuse in my background, as well. I definitely got involved with drugs...booze & pot at 14, and acid at 16...but the physically addictive stuff is just scary.

I hadn't thought about the prescription painkiller thing, which is weird, as I've certainly heard of it happening. Mind you, I've never heard of those people turning into violent threats to society - not saying it hasn't happened, but prescription painkillers weren't something I was thinking about in the context of the threadd, yk.?

But, there are good kids with good parents that try drugs, and some of them develop addictions. When a parent recognizes that it can happen to anyone they are better able to give their children the guidance they need to hlep them avoid these problems, and for those that do face addiction they can skip the blame--it's no one's fault--and focus on getting better.

I guess I'm just very leery of the 'it's no one's fault' viewpoint...ime, the desire to absolvee themselves of responsiblity is the biggest porblem most addicts ahve, and I acn't help but feel this fuels the fire...

Okay...typing veeerrrry slowly now. I'm gone. This headache is getting stupid. I'm tired of going bakc and fixing typos. I just wish I could lie down...

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I guess I'm just very leery of the 'it's no one's fault' viewpoint...ime, the desire to absolvee themselves of responsiblity is the biggest porblem most addicts ahve, and I acn't help but feel this fuels the fire...

The biggest problem addicts have is addiction Focusing on blame just makes people defensive.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I'


I guess I'm just very leery of the 'it's no one's fault' viewpoint...ime, the desire to absolvee themselves of responsiblity is the biggest porblem most addicts ahve, and I acn't help but feel this fuels the fire...

Okay...typing veeerrrry slowly now. I'm gone. This headache is getting stupid. I'm tired of going bakc and fixing typos. I just wish I could lie down...

I think we humans have to be very careful thinking we can control everything or that there is a reason, fault or clear-cut explaination for why bad things happen to some people.

We can do all the 'right' things and tragic events can still affect us and our children. I think as people get older, and we see bad things happen to perfectly kind and wonderful people, we realize that there is no recipe for a Perfect Life.

Most of us spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways we are Not Like Them (people sad/bad things happen to). I think it's natural, but not helpful.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

My kids and I talk about drug use often. My Dh used to smoke quite a bit of pot back in the day, but I've never even smoked a cigarette. I did drink a bit as a teen though. I've made my feelings about cigarette use pretty clear (I'm not a fan ), and we've talked about responsible drinking for most of their lives.

There were two episodes that had both Dh and I over doing it on alcohol (first him, and me another time) when the kids were very young. Ds is the only one who remembers it, and it's served as a good way to talk about how sneaky intoxication can be, and how fast it can hit you. If the kids eventually choose to smoke some pot now and then I'm not going to freak out. I hope they always think about what they are doing and the potential consequences though.

Meth and other such drugs scare the living hell out of me. Ds's father is an addict in recovery, and we've watched many friends' have their lives ruined by the stuff.

Yeah, meth is in a class by itself. It's shocking how easily one can step into that oncoming truck. I never thought I would know anyone...and yet, wow, what a horrendously powerful drug. It's addictive, but some people can recover from any drug use...but meth literally eats the brain. You can't really come back, even when you're clean.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by UUMom

I think we humans have to be very careful thinking we can control everything or that there is a reason, fault or clear-cut explaination for why bad things happen to some people.

We can do all the 'right' things and tragic events can still affect us and our children. I think as people get older, and we see bad things happen to perfectly kind and wonderful people, we realize that there is no recipe for a Perfect Life.

Most of us spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways we are Not Like Them (people sad/bad things happen to). I think it's natural, but not helpful.

I"ve never thought I could control everythin - not since my garndfather started pawing me as a little kid.

I don't think making a decision to snort cocaine is a "tragic eveent happening to" someone.

I'd better bowo out here. my experiences wiht my worthless bum of an ex are probably clouding my judgment. But, if ds1 is ever stupid enough to snort coke, I'll do my best to helpp him through anyresulting addiction...but it won't pretend it "just happened" to him. He's not going to gte "oh, sweetie - I'm so sorry you were one of hte huge percentage of people who try cocaine and get addicted to it. Just bad luck, I guess".

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I don't think making a decision to snort cocaine is a "tragic eveent happening to" someone.

The scenarios and circumstances that lead to drug addiction cannot always be boiled down to one bad decision.

But, if ds1 is ever stupid enough to snort coke, I'll do my best to helpp him through anyresulting addiction...but it won't pretend it "just happened" to him. He's not going to gte "oh, sweetie - I'm so sorry you were one of hte huge percentage of people who try cocaine and get addicted to it. Just bad luck, I guess".

Eh, even smart people make reckless, bad decisions sometimes.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

Eh, even smart people make reckless, bad decisions sometimes.

True. I've made several. But, I don't sit around pretending that my decision to marry my idiot ex was some tragic event that "just happened" to me. I've had crap just happen to me...everyone has. I've also made really stupid decisions in my life...everyone has. But, "bad luck" and "stupid choices" aren't the same thing.

[woobysma]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I've had crap just happen to me...everyone has. I've also made really stupid decisions in my life...everyone has. But, "bad luck" and "stupid choices" aren't the same thing.

SB - I agree with you here & I think that kind of sums up my experience with drugs. I have an interesting viewpoint because I never had any problems with drugs (never ever did anything other than pot, and didn't even really do that to any huge extent) but my sister had major problems with everything from coke to LSD to alcohol. Thankfully, she's completely fine now and is a thoughtful, self aware and successful adult - but there was a time there where I was really worried about her.

My sister and I both had similar upbringings (same parents, same town) & both had ample opportunity to try drugs of all sorts, even traveled in similar social circles at school. Looking back, I think the major difference was that I lived with our dad during my teenage years and sis lived with our mom.

My dad's viewpoint on drugs, drunk driving, etc was always perfectly clear: "I'm ALWAYS here to bail you out, so you can call me ANY TIME you find yourself in over your head and I'll come get you/ help you without judgement. BUT, the next morning, we will sit down and I'm going to hold you accountable for any decision you make. AND - If you drive that car drunk or ride home with someone who's been drinking or go someplace you shouldn't be going to get high - that will be the very last time you leave this house unless it's to go to school."

My dad respected me a lot at a young age, but he expected me to be respectful of myself and responsible for my own decisions. He also made it a point to meet every single one of my friends, so he always seemed to know if I was heading down a questionable path and would call me on it. He created an atmosphere where I had no excuse not to talk to him, so I made darn sure I didn't do anything that I would have to explain later

I'm still thankful to this day that he was so upfront about things. It helped me make better decisions.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

I've known drug addicts without any history of abuse. In experiments, rats given access to cocaine will choose the drug over food, to the point where they starve to death. Drug addiction is a chemical reaction in the brain and, if given the oportunity, everyone has the same susceptibility.

\
which totally ignores why someone is using to the point of becoming dependant.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

The biggest problem addicts have is addiction

I sooo disagree with that.


I have known people that became dependant on pain killers after having a chronic back condition and they handled it in a very different way than the people that had been emotionally, physically ect abused and became drug addicts. Those people used drugs as an escape from the emotional pain of a past they didn't want to face and deal with.

Getting someone sober doesn't fix the real problem.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

Some of the stories are true and yes our culture is anti teenager. But no I'm not scared of teens mine is awesome! I think the problems come from warehousing kids in schools with a bunch of other kids exactly the same age and stage where they are all fighting for attention and oneupmanship instead of the more natural widly mixed age groups where all kids get to be leaders to youngers and guided by those older.

This is really interesting. (Side note: I have two nieces, ages 11 and 14, who are really wonderful -- they were homeschooled, AP & GD'd, I read this thread sometimes because my own teen years were horrible and want to snatch some wisdom.) For myself, I was part of a girl scout troop and grew up with friends, their younger/older siblings...as we got older we took on the leadership training and went on to be leaders to the younger kids, etc. It's interesting how this flowed so comfortably and gave us a real sense of community. It was normal and natural to play with people of all ages, from kids to adults. Thanks for mentioning this.

[CherryBomb]

I'm not afraid of my own children becoming teenagers, but I am weary of teenager in general. Obviously I know plenty who are great kids! But when I'm in public and I see a group of teenagers, I avoid them like the plague I know that's predjudiced of me, but I've had too many bad experiences. Honestly, most of it is not wanting to listen to the crap that comes out of their mouths, or having my children exsposed to it. An example was Christmas shopping at the mall and trying to get away from the group of teenage boys behind us talking loudly about how much they hate "mother f*cking f*ggots," or the group of girls at the store going on loudly about how "f*cking stoned" they were. Or the group of young teen boys doing a terrible job of shop lifting at Hot Topic last weekend. :/

But of course I know that not all teenagers are like that.