Have you EVER spanked?

[JamesMama]

Making a poll

Just curious...

[marybethorama]

Once or twice with each kid

No, I didn't learn.

I should have but I was at the end of my rope in each case.

[MtBikeLover]

Nope, never. Not even close.

[frenchie]

I have on a few occasions with Kai, and it broke my heart each time. The last time I did, I felt just like my mother. My son was so hurt, so devistated by my actions that I realized I was out of control. I HATE that I have resorted to spanking, and will never do it again. I never wanted to go down that road....ever. I even hate to admit it, it's humiliating.

[the_lissa]

No.

[AntoninBeGonin]

I doubt this counts but I'll tell it anyhow. One time my little sister (I'm the oldest of four girls; she was the 3rd born) took some money from my room. She was just a little girl, around 5-6 years old. I'm 5 years older than her. Me, being dumb, mentioned it to mom. I didn't want my sister in trouble, all I wanted was my $20, ya know? No harm was done, she was just a little kid, it wasn't like she took the freaking money to the store and bought Barely Legal with it Anyhow, mom went ballastic. She put my terrified little sister over MY knee and said if I didn't spank her then she would use a belt. I didn't know what to think. My sister was so sad and scared she was trembling with her little nose running all down her face and mom looked like a raging hell beast. All this for $20 I know everyone must be wondering, and no, I did not spank my little sister that day. I'm fuzzy on what happened after that, I'm pretty sure raging got her anger out and she just dropped the matter. But still the damage was done. Little sister wasn't hurt physically, but I'm sure it did some major long term emotional and mental damage.

And that's just one of the reasons why I'll never resort to hitting my kids. I'm not going to be the raging hell beast. My son and daughter deserve the best from Dh and me. I never want them to shake with fear in front of me for an honest age-appropriate mistake. :

Fortunately, that was an isolated incident. I don't want anyone to get the impression that my mom flipping out was a daily ordeal. (Just a few times a year )

~Nay,

[mackysmama]

No, I've never spanked and I've never been tempted to. I have yelled; never mean words but a FOR SURE raised voice and probably a scary face and feel VERY guilty about it and try to never do it again.

[Aliviasmom]

NO! I've almost said "...or I'm going to paddle your butt!" But then I realize the aubsurdity of that comment! She wouldn't understand, and I would just be hurt. I just take a deep breath.

ETA: I was not spanked heavily as a child, so I don't really know where I come up with that statement anyway. Which just adds to the uncomfortableness!

[DevaMajka]

I did, and I knew better. I knew in the moment that it was the stupidest thing I could have done. It was totally out of frustration (ds was harassing a dog we were dog sitting).
I left the room and dp took over (I'm sure he was completely totally appalled, but he never said anything, except that I could go relax however I wanted).
I'm getting soooo much better at handling my frustration in productive ways.
oh yeah, and it will never ever happen again.

Gotta add, that dp has never spanked, and I'd bet money that he never never will.

[Cassandra M.]

One time and I felt like the biggest POS on the planet. Never in my life have I felt so low.

Never again.

[JamesMama]

I've spanked once and never again.

I was 'spanked' as a child. For most every offence. I can remember being spanked with a thin wooden paddle with holes drilled through it to lessen wind resistance.

I'm working VERY hard to fix my behaviour.

[irinam]

I did a few times with DS.

That time I truly did not know better. Had him when I was 17 and was learning about parenting on the fly, only going by what I've seen done around me (to me).

Then, still not knowing better I went and decided to be a "lazy parent", because it just seemed easier to redirect and then when he was older to talk and reason with him.

I actually kept my "non spanking" a secret because I knew that everybody would be terrified that I am "raising a monster" and tell me how I have to tough it out, "even if it hurt me more than it hurts him"

Did not spank DD, cuz this time I did know better.

[blsilva]

I used to spank my oldest. It was how both dh and I were raised, and was the only way I knew to deal with his increasingly defiant behavior. After a while, I realized that his behavior was getting worse, not better, and started reading discipline books. The first thing all of them said was to stop spanking, and gave other ideas to help recognise underlying problems he may be having, redirecting, and a whole host of other ways to deal with him. We stopped spanking then, have not spanked in over 2 years, and never will again. My youngest doesn't even know what a spanking is, and my oldest, when he sees other kids get spanked (at the park, usually) will confront the offender with a very confident "Spanking is bad- we do not spank!!"
I am so proud of him for that!

[LoveBeads]

No, never. But there were times that I felt like doing it.

[fly-mom]

Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin

I doubt this counts but I'll tell it anyhow. One time my little sister (I'm the oldest of four girls; she was the 3rd born) took some money from my room. She was just a little girl, around 5-6 years old. I'm 5 years older than her. Me, being dumb, mentioned it to mom. I didn't want my sister in trouble, all I wanted was my $20, ya know? No harm was done, she was just a little kid, it wasn't like she took the freaking money to the store and bought Barely Legal with it Anyhow, mom went ballastic. She put my terrified little sister over MY knee and said if I didn't spank her then she would use a belt. I didn't know what to think. My sister was so sad and scared she was trembling with her little nose running all down her face and mom looked like a raging hell beast. All this for $20 I know everyone must be wondering, and no, I did not spank my little sister that day. I'm fuzzy on what happened after that, I'm pretty sure raging got her anger out and she just dropped the matter. But still the damage was done. Little sister wasn't hurt physically, but I'm sure it did some major long term emotional and mental damage.

And that's just one of the reasons why I'll never resort to hitting my kids. I'm not going to be the raging hell beast. My son and daughter deserve the best from Dh and me. I never want them to shake with fear in front of me for an honest age-appropriate mistake. :

Fortunately, that was an isolated incident. I don't want anyone to get the impression that my mom flipping out was a daily ordeal. (Just a few times a year )

~Nay,

That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. I'm so sorry that happened to you. :

[laketahoemama]

I have not, but I have yelled which can be very trauamtic also. I feel so much guilt over that, I couldn't imagine spanking my son.

[AntoninBeGonin]

Originally Posted by fly-mom

That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard. I'm so sorry that happened to you. :

Aww thanks. That sister is getting married in June. We've already talked about things like not spanking and not circumcising. She's seen how great a kid my son is and is open to these radical new parenting ideas. I think she realizes how little my parents really knew about raising kids, and she understands there's no reason for punitive punishment. I'm going to call her and remind her of this incident and explain that mom was wrong, that 5 year olds do not understand the concept of stealing and that I hope she's okay. She's a sweet kid.

~Nay

[loraxc]

No, but on occasion evil voices/inner rage have urged me to. Well, honestly, they haven't urged me to "spank" (in the mainstream "this is how you're supposed to hit your kid" way) as much as to smack in anger.

[Attached Mama]

no - never spanked my dd. Thankfully I learned and realized from my own life how harmful it is. Unfort I was raised to think it was the only way to raise a kid and was told i could spank a kid I was babysitting when i was only 14 and so i did and also spanked my niece one time. Makes me feel very sad _ just glad i learned b4 having my own.

[fly-mom]

I answered the poll as "once or twice", but what happened was I smacked dd on the leg one time when I was changing her diaper and she kept kicking me and laughing (she was maybe about 1 yo). It wasn't a "spanking", but close enough for me to realize it wasn't something I was ever going to do again.