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Did Feminism Go Too Far? - Page 2

post #21 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolalola View Post
This is a great point. Thank-you for bringing it up.

For me, I don't want to send my daughter the implicit/explicit message that, 'yes, honey, get out there and follow your dreams, pursue your goals, but be sure and give them all up once you become a mother'.
How does the song from Mary Poppins go?

..."Our daughters' daughters will adore us, and they'll sing in grateful chorus. Well done, Sister Suffragette!"

post #22 of 602
Interesting thread.

I am divided. On one hand, the basics of feminism - equality under the law, opportunity, etc - are to me so obvious and so central to my sense of ethics and justice, I do often forget that they are not obvious to everyone. I am fully aware of the situation facing women in this world. I work with women in development activities - believe me, I know very well what most women and girls face.

However, I am increasingly frustrated with the feminist movement in this country. I find myself disagreeing more than agreeing with many of the stances taken by NOW and other feminist organizations. It is hard for me to put my finger on the problem, precisely, but right now I feel like the feminist movement in the US isn't useful to me, personally. And I take issue with much of "third-wave" feminisms approach to sexuality.

So while I agree with PP that the core values are still incredibly important and should not be forgotten - and the fight not ended before all women receive the respect and opportunities they deserve. I am just not sure of the next step for us.
post #23 of 602
I think feminism went too far by displacing the mother from the home and not venerating her position in the home.

BUT, women need the choice. In that sense feminism is a good thing. Women have more choices now, and hopefully there is a self-adjustment going on where the woman's place as mother will be venerated again, but not mandatory.
post #24 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhang View Post
I find myself disagreeing more than agreeing with many of the stances taken by NOW and other feminist organizations.
Interesting post!

What NOW stances do you disagree with?

Just curious.
post #25 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post
I think feminism went too far by displacing the mother from the home and not venerating her position in the home.

BUT, women need the choice. In that sense feminism is a good thing. Women have more choices now, and hopefully there is a self-adjustment going on where the woman's place as mother will be venerated again, but not mandatory.
Hmmm...interesting.

Has feminism displaced mothers from the home? Does feminism not venerate a woman's position in the home?

I think inherently feminism venerates all women in every place they choose to be in. I'd be curious what you and others think and why.
post #26 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverSky View Post
I think it hasn't gone far enough, because there are still people who will post threads such as this. :

If your DH has not decided that it is extremely important for a child to be with a parent at all times, as opposed to in childcare, that has nothing to do with feminism and far more to do with lack of education of the detriments of daycare/preschool and the reality that no one loves your children as much as you do.

I am a proud feminist SAHM and I feel strongly that a children deserve to have a parent at home with them, if at all possible. I am also strongly in support for single parents, regardless of their sex.
as per usual, riversky my dear, you and i are on the same level. thank you for posting this so i didn't do just a big WTF? post.
post #27 of 602
Honestly : sometimes....I think it has. I was raised that men opened doors for women, that both men and women opened doors for mothers and the elderly, etc, but no one opens doors for me, except my dh and kids. I've actually had men back off away from me so I'll reach the door first and have to open it myself, like they are removing themselves from "having" to be chivalrous. Then they look like complete asses when I hold the door for them

But,
in the same breath, I say it has a long ways to go. Women don't get regarded with the same respect as a man no matter what she does. As it stands now, a man will always make more $$ then a woman doing the same work, etc etc.
post #28 of 602
I think some people use 'feminism' as a scape goat for other ails of society. Feminism is really to blame for our consumerist society? Really??

Feminism still has a long way to go - for SAHMs and all women in general. Being the child bearers in our society, there are far too few protections afforded us. Right now if you are a SAHM and your dh leaves you, if you DON'T have a really good resume to fall back on, you're likely going to be in the poor house. There are all sorts of ideas to solve that problem so women don't feel they have to stay in bad situations - leaving men with disproportionate power over them. Some women stay for healthcare, housing, basic provisions, etc. that they would struggle to come by on their own. Women often bear the onus to make difficult relationships work when they are in a dependant role financially.

Yes, if you want economic stability/personal power in the world we live in today, you have to keep some sort of current resume - be it via part time work or volunteer work or something even while you SAH. Society would be far better off if SAHM's weren't often forced to be isolated and fathers didn't have to work ridiculous hours to have one spouse SAH. I still think the idea is for both parents to be able to work part time - perhaps one more than the other, but allowing both to maintain a stake in their own individual financial future.

If society valued women and children in the ways that they really should - these issues would be taken care of. Sure there are anti-mother feminists - but they are few and far between, and were mostly around and gone before the 1980's. I find it utterly annoying how few women have any positions of power *still* after all these years of talking about it - we have a long way to go.

Fight against the economic system if that's what you don't like, but don't twist it into something that is wrong with the women's movement unless you can really associate causality.
post #29 of 602
No. I don't think so and was actually sort of freaked out by even the title of thread. Isn't feminism just a push for equal and fair treatment? Don't we want to be treated unfairly? Do we want our daughters and sons to be treated differently? Educated unevenly? What of those of you with daughters? What if they don't marry or have children? Don't you want value placed on the other things they can offer the world outside of house & home?

BJ
Barney, Ben & soon to be #3!!!
post #30 of 602
I think Linda Hirschmann went to far. And she is a feminist.

I don't know if it's feminism itself, or men and women with "issues" that took it too far.
post #31 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchbaby View Post
as per usual, riversky my dear, you and i are on the same level. thank you for posting this so i didn't do just a big WTF? post.

post #32 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Synthea™ View Post
Honestly : sometimes....I think it has. I was raised that men opened doors for women, that both men and women opened doors for mothers and the elderly, etc, but no one opens doors for me, except my dh and kids. I've actually had men back off away from me so I'll reach the door first and have to open it myself, like they are removing themselves from "having" to be chivalrous. Then they look like complete asses when I hold the door for them
I think it's nice when anyone holds the door for anyone else. That's being polite and displaying good manners. I think it's especially important to hold the door for people who would have a little more of a stuggle to do it themselves (i.e. people carrying heavy items, the elderly, a small child, the disabled, pregnant women (I remember who movement was restricted and how tired I was!), etc. That's not to say they can't open the door for themselves.

But, are poor manners and impoliteness really the mark of feminism?
post #33 of 602
I was a SAHM and now I'm a WOHM (well, sometimes )

Anyway - no. I think feminism has a long, long, long way to go before it reaches it's goals of equality and choice for all - regardless of gender.

I like how RiverSky said it.
post #34 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophmama View Post
Fight against the economic system if that's what you don't like, but don't twist it into something that is wrong with the women's movement unless you can really associate causality.
post #35 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
No. I don't think so and was actually sort of freaked out by even the title of thread. Isn't feminism just a push for equal and fair treatment? Don't we want to be treated unfairly? Do we want our daughters and sons to be treated differently? Educated unevenly? What of those of you with daughters? What if they don't marry or have children? Don't you want value placed on the other things they can offer the world outside of house & home?

BJ
Barney, Ben & soon to be #3!!!
Uh huh! Exactly.
post #36 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoesmummy View Post
I was a SAHM and now I'm a WOHM (well, sometimes )

Anyway - no. I think feminism has a long, long, long way to go before it reaches it's goals of equality and choice for all - regardless of gender.
Yep! Totally agree!

Feminists are all kinds of women and mothers...young, old, SAHM, WOHM.
post #37 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
I think Linda Hirschmann went to far. And she is a feminist.

I don't know if it's feminism itself, or men and women with "issues" that took it too far.
I remember watching that interview with her. What a mess. The whole idea was that watching children was beneath women and if we happened to have any we should stick them in daycare (where incidently, women would probably be watching them) and get back to work. She went so far as to say that women who stayed home were doing a disservice to society.
post #38 of 602
The question "has feminism gone too far" is a phrase from the book the Mommy Myth.
In that context, it makes sense and is not a question women should be offended by, IMO.
post #39 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by charmcitymama View Post
The question "has feminism gone too far" is a phrase from the book the Mommy Myth.
In that context, it makes sense and is not a question women should be offended by, IMO.
I will check that book out. Thanks for mentioning it.
post #40 of 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by charmcitymama View Post
The question "has feminism gone too far" is a phrase from the book the Mommy Myth.
In that context, it makes sense and is not a question women should be offended by, IMO.
Does anyone have any recommendations for good books they've read on the subject of motherhood and feminism? Or SAHMism and feminism?

Thanks!
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