Right now I don't like my dd or the way she behaves much. I love her dearly, but sometimes I just don't like her.
She is mean, rude, argumentative, and just plain nasty to her sisters. She throws a fit when she is asked to do anything around the house and if I "ask" she tells me no. I don't want to be rude and demand she do things, but by asking nicely she thinks she has a choice.
Take last night for instance. My 3 year old is sick. She was on the floor crying her eyes out. I thought if I got her ready for bed and let her lay in my bed watching cartoons I could take care of the baby. The problem is the baby was crying too. So I told DD#1 that, "It would be nice if you would hold DS while I take care of your sister." She looked at me, went in her room and shut the door. After another minute of crying I went in and got her and told her to hold her brother. She said, you didn't tell me to hold him, you said it would be nice and I choose not to. WTF????
DH is working swing. I can barely cope when he is on swing shift but now DD#1 is refusing to help at all and adding to my stress level with her nastiness.
She says it is not her responsibility to watch "my kids." Umm you are part of this family and it IS your responsibility to watch your siblings when I ask and to help out with the house. She seems to think that the only thing she has to do is sit on her butt and watch TV or play games.
I am not exactly sure what to do about it. I have enough stress with the two little ones, but when she starts fighting with DD#2 and telling her she hates her or she wishes she would die it infuriates me. DD#2 told me the other day that DD#1 told her she wishes her glasses would break and poke her in the eye. Who says something like this to someone???
Then of course DH is not help with her because he is TOO strict and I find myself taking him aside and telling him not to yell at her in front of guests, or her friends for ridiculous reasons. Or today she stayed home from school sick so he tells her since she is too sick for school she can't watch TV? Hello you don't punish people for being sick. So she is getting mixed messages but often I will resend what DH says because he is being a hard A$$ so maybe this is why she is pushing EVERYTHING to the limit. I don't know I think I am rambling now. Any advise would be appreciated. 3 months 2 weeks left of DH's 4 months on Swing. ARGG!!!!
She is mean, rude, argumentative, and just plain nasty to her sisters. She throws a fit when she is asked to do anything around the house and if I "ask" she tells me no. I don't want to be rude and demand she do things, but by asking nicely she thinks she has a choice.
Take last night for instance. My 3 year old is sick. She was on the floor crying her eyes out. I thought if I got her ready for bed and let her lay in my bed watching cartoons I could take care of the baby. The problem is the baby was crying too. So I told DD#1 that, "It would be nice if you would hold DS while I take care of your sister." She looked at me, went in her room and shut the door. After another minute of crying I went in and got her and told her to hold her brother. She said, you didn't tell me to hold him, you said it would be nice and I choose not to. WTF????
DH is working swing. I can barely cope when he is on swing shift but now DD#1 is refusing to help at all and adding to my stress level with her nastiness.
She says it is not her responsibility to watch "my kids." Umm you are part of this family and it IS your responsibility to watch your siblings when I ask and to help out with the house. She seems to think that the only thing she has to do is sit on her butt and watch TV or play games.
I am not exactly sure what to do about it. I have enough stress with the two little ones, but when she starts fighting with DD#2 and telling her she hates her or she wishes she would die it infuriates me. DD#2 told me the other day that DD#1 told her she wishes her glasses would break and poke her in the eye. Who says something like this to someone???
Then of course DH is not help with her because he is TOO strict and I find myself taking him aside and telling him not to yell at her in front of guests, or her friends for ridiculous reasons. Or today she stayed home from school sick so he tells her since she is too sick for school she can't watch TV? Hello you don't punish people for being sick. So she is getting mixed messages but often I will resend what DH says because he is being a hard A$$ so maybe this is why she is pushing EVERYTHING to the limit. I don't know I think I am rambling now. Any advise would be appreciated. 3 months 2 weeks left of DH's 4 months on Swing. ARGG!!!!
I think it's that age. I know there are plenty of parents who have minimal problems with their preteens and teens, but some kids just have a harder time with the hormones and stuff. My DD currently gets serious computer time lost if she talks to her siblings like that (and trust me, she can be just as viscious as you describe), but not much else phases her. She kicks holes in her walls too. On the upside to that, I've gotten good at patching 
Aww to be dealing with a 9 year old again. One can only dream.
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That can be like running your head into a wall.
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