Get ready to be mad!!!

[ekblad9]

Check this out!

http://www.observer.com/pages/story.asp?ID=7050

[Viola]

ROFL, I don't want to be mad. Is that that darn article by the Leona or Leora person, or whatever? I read that yesterday and it made me mad. First of all, she was being judgmental in making the comment about her friend, secondly if the longest she nursed her child for was 12 weeks, how did she really know that the problems she had would not resolve themselves?

OK, here was my response on another list, sorry it isn't more eloquent--I cut out some of the quotes so as not to violate copyright: "Well, I love it," she told me defiantly. Really? I wondered. She looked so tired.

She was talking about her friend who claimed to love nursing, but the author didn't believe that because she was a woman with an important life before she had a baby, and she had to give up some things once the baby came. So who is being judgmental here? She obviously doesn't want to believe that someone enjoys nursing or that they would be happy choosing to put the needs of their infant first for a little while.

But when it went horribly (when my nipples bled; when he needed to be nursed again, even though his last feeding had just ended a half-hour ago ...

Wow, you mean her child might need to be nursed half an hour after the last feeding ended? Imagine that! How would she know whether or not the pain went away after a few weeks or if things would get easier--she only nursed 6 weeks and 12 weeks. Sheesh!

But I now feel some solace with the realization that the longer a woman nurses, the harder it becomes to stop. Yeah, human organisms are strange like that--they actually need to eat for the whole of their lives.

Fear, rather than self-sacrifice, prompts many nursing mothers to just keep on unbuttoning that shirt. Geez, does this even make any sense? And who cares??? If we aren't feeding our children out of love and desire to give nourish them, then we are at least feeding them out of fear that they might die without food. So either love or fear or both prompts us in our actions no matter how we feed--formula or breast. Breastfeeding isn't supposed to be about self sacrifice, it's supposed to be about doing what is best for your child. Does this woman also talk about exercise "nazis" who expect you to wear unstylish clothing to go to the gym so you can engage in pain and self sacrifice all in the name of doing what is best for your body, even if you don't really want to? Why in the heck should we sacrifice and go to work, when we could be doing more fun stuff--who wants to do that? Maybe I'll start robbing banks so dh can quit his job. Life is all about doing whatever you want, whenever you want.

[ekblad9]

Did somebody already start a thread about this and I missed it? I'm so out of it lately. I'm just so sick of breastfeeding and negative publicity.

[Irishmommy]

[chicklet]

That article didn't make me mad, it was just her opinion. Heck - nursing a baby IS a sacrifice - of your time, your body. I nursed my first for 3 years, talk about time consuming! For me it was a conscious decision, she never had a bottle EVER. Now I'm nursing #2, he's 13mo., no end in sight and thats fine with me.

I respect her opinion as just that. She wasn't bashing breastfeeding, just stating her thoughts. Nursing doesn't fit into every womans life, some have difficulties, some just choose otherwise.

True, if she stuck it out longer she may have grown to enjoy it, it does take time to overcome difficulties and gain the confidence needed.

Hey, maybe she's just lazy and selfish - that's her perogitive!

[kama'aina mama]

I feel sorry for her. It seems obvious to me that she feels guilty for letting her kids down so now she wants to put the blame on others: namely those who breastfeed. Maybe she is in a competition. Hell maybe she's right and every woman in Manhatten is.... but I doubt it. I just know I'm not and I don't appreciate her unkind characterization of what I am doing or why I am doing it.

[Viola]

Oh no, sorry, Ekblad7, this was on another list. No one had started one here that I know of. I just didn't want to read that drivel again. :LOL

[Viola]

Anyway, it does make me angry. Sure this is her opinion, but she gets paid for writing junk like that. I'm sick of reading all of this kind of crap writing that is poorly written and illogical, and does a disservice to something like breastfeeding. I had enough of that doggone Betsy Hart woman and her junk writing. It's just done to be inflammatory. And she should be ashamed of herself for using the term Nazi in that way.

[abigailvr]

Sure it's her opinion, but women like that get touted as "speaking for the average woman," while women who say they enjoy nursing, or nurse for an extended period are labelled "nipple nazis."

[crazy_eights]

Wow. How insulting and condescending. As if she knows everyone's true feelings and only she is in touch with the reality of the situation.

Let's all go buy formula so that we can get on with "real" life!!!!

[veganmamma]

Originally posted byMom2six
Wow. How insulting and condescending. As if she knows everyone's true feelings and only she is in touch with the reality of the situation.[

Let's all go buy formula so we can get on with "real" life!

ITA!!!

me= nursing nazi

Lauren

[mamabeard]

Originally posted by kama'aina mama
I feel sorry for her. It seems obvious to me that she feels guilty for letting her kids down so now she wants to put the blame on others: namely those who breastfeed. Maybe she is in a competition. Hell maybe she's right and every woman in Manhatten is.... but I doubt it. I just know I'm not and I don't appreciate her unkind characterization of what I am doing or why I am doing it.

i agree. even the book(?) she wrote is called 'catfight: women and competition'.. it seems to me that mindset is where she is coming from, and she isn't particularily concerned with her children's own health or happiness. i say this because of the many references to carreer, fashion, and her descriptions of nursing babies as burdens.. and her defensiveness that undoes any fleeting moments of introspection with her children's interests in mind. pretty silly article, and illogical forsure.

[DaryLLL]

Yeah, the title says it all:

Nursing Nazis Of New York: Hands Off My Nipples

So, breastfeeding mothers and advocates are not only associated with perhaps the greatest evil that ever visited our planet, we are also all lesbians! LOL! What a jerk. She can keep her nipples. I feel sorry for her kids and her grandkids.

[queen620]

I wasn't going to post a reply, but know I have been thinking about this article.

I think she is right to some extent. I only breastfed my first ds for 4wks. (Horrible start in hospital, he was in the NICU and was constantly supplemented as he was jaundiced and Iwas tooooo sick to pump and nurse.) I remember getting most of the same remarks. I vividly remember being in walmart to pick up some photos. I asked the lady waiting behind me how old her baby girl was. She said ten months and then went on to tell me she had never had a bottle or pacifer in her life. I didn't ask anything about that, but appeaerantly is was her dabdge of honor and she flet the need to tell anyone whether they asked or not.

Although she didn't say I was a horrible mother, I certainly felt like that is what she was saying. I guess she say the my son sucking his thumb after finishig his bottle(he didn't like to cuddle while having his bottle, even today is super independant.)So I gues she just assumed she was better than me b/c she had never given her daughter a bottle. What I have come to realize is breastfeeding or bottlefeeding doesn't determine my devotion to my children, or what kind of mother I am and will continue to be.

I have been on both sides. My second ds is 23mo and still nursing, but rarely say anthing unless it comes up in conversation. I know how hurt I was by that lady's statement and I don't want to inadvertantly hurt someone else who is probably a great mother.

My thought are rambling I have to go instead of reorganizing my post, b/c my sons need me to be with them.

[veganmamma]

you know, i talk about breastfeeding to anyone who will listen andI don't check first to see if they are bottle feeding. I am very proud that my dd has never had a bottle or pacifier and while i don't brag about to every one i meet, i don't censor myself. I am not being judgemental or looking down on anyonewqhen i talk about how BFing is so great or how dd will nurse until she is done on her own terms. The WHO has four foods listed for infants in order of how good they are:
1. bM from mother's breast
2. BM from bottle
3. BM from wet nurse
4. artificial infant milk
As far as i'm concerned, i shouldn't have to avoid taking about how i feed and comfort my child just because I may make someone feel guilty. If you have had a hard time BFing and believe that you can't then it's your job to justify your choice toyourself, it's not my job to walk on eggshells with every mom i meet just because a few of them may bottle feed and maybe one or two of those bottle feeding thinks they couldn't bf. kwim? I have a feeling i'm coming off as harshand judgemental and i'm sorry if that's the case, idon't mean tobe. that's justwhat chaps my ass about this article because it makes mothers who enjoy bfing-- even those who look tired seem like judgemental "nazis" I honestly don't go around thinking i'm better thanevery body else. I do what is supposed to be the status quo for my species. if other people choose not to, i shouldn't bear the brunt of their guilt. I hope i don't sound like i'm attacking you,or judging you becuase you bottle fed,i'm only trying tobe honest about what i feel.
lauren

[captain optimism]

Is it really true that 70% of mothers in the US nurse their babies? That's wonderful! I thought it was the other way, that 70% don't. Wow, I'm delighted. I'm going to go google that stat to see how Pediatrics arrived at it.

As for the rest of the article... moms who nurse are tired, huh? I guess all the moms who give formula are fresh as daisies!

[2girlsmom]

I think Leora Tanenbaum should find something better to do with her time. What of waste of her time and the readers of that newspaper, it's a totally useless article, as far as I'm concerned!

[merpk]

Okay, I'm angry.

But will agree that in Manhattan competition is a way of life, and so is judgmentalism from either end of the spectrum. So I have no doubt that there are women who feed into her nonsense ...

And I don't even get into how her use of the term "Nazi" with regard to breastfeeding mothers disturbs me.

[captain optimism]

I went to the Pediatrics site and was able to see the abstract from the article that she quotes. Of course, unlike the author of the "nipple nazi" article, the authors of Pediatrics are trying to persuade more women to breastfeed. Here's the abstract. ?)Here is the page the US Department of Health and Human Services has on the issue.

The good news is, almost 70% (that is, 69.5% of their sample of 1.4 million moms) exclusively breastfeed in the hospital immediately post-partum. The bad news is, only 32.5% of moms make it to the 6 month mark. More bad news: white women are far more likely that women of color to breastfeed to 6 months, or at all.

So nearly half the women who try to breastfeed give up. Probably because, like the author of the "nip. naz." article (and like me, by coincidence) their babies didn't latch on properly and their nipples bled. Too bad not everyone was as lucky as I was in the matter of getting good lactation consultant help. I knew that the baby was going to nurse VERY often when he was young, and was mentally prepared for it, unlike the author of your annoying article. I think that support for women who are having problems with breastfeeding makes all the difference.

The Pediatrics article abstract discusses the objectives set by the US Surgeon General for health, Healthy People 2010. They have set the modest goal of getting half the moms in the US to breastfeed for 6 months. I wonder how you write an article for the newspaper about how terrible it is that your friends are all breastfeeding, after reading that the US government thinks breastfeeding would prevent illness? But I guess a lot of journalists in New York also wrote about how terrible it was that they wouldn't be able to smoke in restaurants anymore (are self-righteous ex-smokers called "air nazis" or something.

[adventuregirl]

As someone who has no children yet, this article annoyed me because it could seriously scare off a lot of moms-to-be from nursing. Yes, it is important to know that it may be difficult at times, but she made it sound like pure constant misery. I'm still committed to it, but a woman who may just be "considering" it, may well base her decision on this woman's opinion.

She talks as if her experience is what all others experience and is wrongly assumptive.

If she thinks its competition, then that's her problem. If she thinks everything in life is a competition, then that sucks for her.

And what the hell is up with "not being able to wear stylish clothing"? Gimme a break! OH, maybe the other moms only nurse so long is beacause they like the big boobs.