Originally Posted by Papooses
I'm all for helping Leila feel confident with her self, her body & people in general.... However, I was also sexually abused as a preschooler by my neighbor/tutor -- my method of coping with this added dynamic to parenting a girl was to research child gender + sexual development, discuss with therapists who help child victims of sexual abuse, etc.
I'm a survivor myself. I was abused for 6 years of my childhood. I struggled a lot with the residual effects of abuse, once I had my son. How much affection was appropriate, was I giving him too much affection? Was it ok to touch his penis while cleaning him? Was it ok for ME to talk to him about his penis once he asked questions? Being a survivor and a parent is a tough place to be in. Partly because we're told over and over that abusers are the product of abuse. The odds are against us.Seeing adults' genitalia can & does produce confusion + arousal in most children: this can be considered sexual abuse even when there is no other sexual activity
Reading this just kills me. To be told that I'm abusing my child because he sees me naked is just...I don't even have a word to attach to my feelings. I have never seen any indication that my son is aroused by seeing DH or I naked. Showering with us is just a normal everyday activity. Otherwise, we don't just waltz around our house naked.....(well, he does because he loves to be naked). He knows that him and daddy have a "penis" and mommy has a "vagina". It's just not a big deal. Nudity isn't shamed in our house.it disrupts the child's natural discovery of the human body & triggers anxiety over what their own body will become
I cannot buy into this either. My son has asked many questions about his body parts. He's asked daddy about his penis, since DH is cut, and DS is intact. He's asked me about my vagina as well. We answered his questions in an age appropriate manner. I feel this is all part of the "natural discovery of the human body"...no anxiety, no embarassment and no disruption in the "natural process"...however it is defined.
It is every parent's job to protect their child. However, no matter how dilligent we are about educating our children on this subject, it still happens. I made a decision not to project my own fears, discomfort and anxiety onto my children. I will do the best I can to educate them, and one day share my childhood experience with them. Until then, I take what I feel are common sense precautions to protect my child(ren).