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Were YOU spanked as a child? - Page 2

Poll Results: Were YOU spanked as a child?

 
  • 20% (145)
    Yes, I was abused
  • 18% (131)
    Yes, I was spanked on a regular basis, but I wouldn't consider myself "abused."
  • 25% (181)
    Yes, I was spanked several times a year
  • 24% (172)
    Yes, I was spanked 1-4 times in my entire childhood
  • 8% (60)
    Nope, I was never spanked. :)
  • 2% (16)
    Other
705 Total Votes  
post #21 of 206
sister and I were 6 and 4. Mom and Dad went out, something they did VERY rarely. We had a babysitter, and were not being watched carefully. We went upstairs to play.

We decided to "make green play doh" out of prell shampoo (hey, it's green!) and some cheap cologne of Dad's in a green bottle, and loads and loads of baby powder. We got them ALL over the hardwood floors upstairs, in all the bedrooms, etc.

We had a choice, to give up Halloween trick or treating, or to get our one and only spanking and still be able to go trick or Treating. Well, we chose the spanking, duh!

I don't recall the spanking. But I do recall hearing my sister getting hers and it made me mad as hell. I hated my father at that moment even though I'm sure the "spanking" was really tame.

Our parents were pretty progressive, really, we were lucky.
post #22 of 206
I was spanked not tons but plenty of times but I in no way shape or form consider myself to have been abused.
post #23 of 206
I was spanked fairly often as a child. I don't consider it to have been abuse, but I do consider it to have been insensitive and ineffective parenting. I wasn't a naughty child, I never needed spanking and would have always made a much bigger effort to behave if my Mum had just talked to me about why we didn't do something than the times she spanked me. That just made me feel unhappy and bullied and I wanted to do mean things afterwards.
post #24 of 206
I was hit regularly - butt, face, arms - but never hard enough to be called physical abuse. I was a spirited child and now I totally get how Mom lost her temper. However, it taught me early and well that to get what you want or when you're mad, it's OK for big people to hit little people. So unfortunately, my little brother got it from me...

Before we had kids I swore I would never, never hit my kids. Well, now I have a spirited DD and I understand Mom better than ever. BUT, I have kept my promise for four, crazy years and have never hit her (or even been close to the edge).

It ends with ME! Yay!
post #25 of 206
I chose other -- I wouldn't say that I was spanked "several" times a year -- but I was spanked more than 4 times in my life.

I would say I was spanked maybe a "few" times a year...some years not at all.
post #26 of 206
Yep, mostly with a wooden spoon. And it was totally ineffective....just made me sneaky and confused. I knew it wouldn't hurt that bad so I would just do whatever I wanted knowing that the spanking was coming but I didn't care.
post #27 of 206
Abused; Hair-pulling, kicking, whipping with switches, belt (buckle of course), spoons, paddle, hairbrush (or beaten in the head with it), force-fed, slapping, punching, slammed into walls, doorways, etc.

...Though my mother seems to have a very selective memory of our (myself and siblings) childhood, and denies that it ever went that far. The last time I tried to discuss it with her, she got very angry and accused my sister and I of exaggerating and playing the 'victim'.
post #28 of 206
Yes, and I consider it abuse.
post #29 of 206
I remember once i was spanked on my bare butt in front of my brother, they made this whole production of it being done, and right in the kitchen!!
Once with a belt for leaving my belt in my pants and throwing them in the laundry. Those are the only two times i remember. I do recall both my mother and stepmother slapping me across the face at seperate times.

My stepmother and father where both teachers so i had to write out what i had done wrong a hundred times, this was more common or getting the silent treatment or not getting dinner for a week or having to stand in the kitchen until i would apoligize for something, (i was so stubborn i would stand there for hours)
post #30 of 206
Quote:
Originally Posted by lioralourie View Post
sister and I were 6 and 4. Mom and Dad went out, something they did VERY rarely. We had a babysitter, and were not being watched carefully. We went upstairs to play.

We decided to "make green play doh" out of prell shampoo (hey, it's green!) and some cheap cologne of Dad's in a green bottle, and loads and loads of baby powder. We got them ALL over the hardwood floors upstairs, in all the bedrooms, etc.

We had a choice, to give up Halloween trick or treating, or to get our one and only spanking and still be able to go trick or Treating. Well, we chose the spanking, duh!

I don't recall the spanking. But I do recall hearing my sister getting hers and it made me mad as hell. I hated my father at that moment even though I'm sure the "spanking" was really tame.

Our parents were pretty progressive, really, we were lucky.
oh that reminds me, one year i didn't do well on my report card(again) and i had to chose between not having my birthday or Christmas (my birthday is 3 days before christmas) so i chose not to have a birthday that year.
post #31 of 206
i was abused abused by my dad and spanked by my mom.... to me there is a difference. mom smacking your butt for something you did is one thing, (i was spanked, but not often, and i dont remember any specific incidents) dad punching a 7 yr old and leaving bruises, or hitting me so hard in the face it felt like he knocked my jaw loose when i was a teenager, or beating my sis with the buckle end of a belt when she was like 13 because she said she was too sick to go to school is something entirely different
post #32 of 206
Quote:
Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
Yes, I was spanked with leather belts on bare skin. I voted I was abused.
Me too. Man, those leave some marks, eh?
post #33 of 206
Quote:
Originally Posted by NadiaLadida View Post
...Though my mother seems to have a very selective memory of our (myself and siblings) childhood, and denies that it ever went that far. The last time I tried to discuss it with her, she got very angry and accused my sister and I of exaggerating and playing the 'victim'.
Mine has done this too, when I used to try to talk to her about it. I think she sort of believes her own story. Funny thing, denial.
post #34 of 206
I selected "Never", but my mom said one time when I was crawling age, still in diapers, I crawled practically into the (unlit) fireplace before she could get to me, and she swooped me up and swatted my diaper. Then she promptly cried for an hour, and never laid a hand on me again. I think it was a moment of pure instinct, because really my parents were like Mr. Rogers' clones for all the childhood and teenhood I can remember.

Sooo, I consider that "never".

There is a divide here in the GD forum regarding whether or not all spanking is abuse. I see varying degrees, and there is a grey area where it's hard to tell...at "best" (and I use the term best loosely - when done rarely, with a hand, over clothes), spanking is insensitive, ineffective, mean-spirited, and sends all the wrong messages to a child. At its worst, it's downright abuse. Personally, I see the difference, though I would NEVER condone hitting a child in any way. Just want to be SUPER clear about that - I do NOT in any way, shape, or form support hitting children in any manner.

Oh - and I refuse to believe that a child ever "deserves" to be spanked for something they have done. My DH says that he deserved every spanking he ever got. I've done some serious deprogramming with him and our kids, though . The only time I can accept anyone ever "deserves" to be hit is when they're attacking someone else, and the other person hits them in self defense...but I digress, that's another discussion.
post #35 of 206

I voted 1-4...

... but actually, I think it was just once. My mom totally lost it because I went on and on exasperating her for an entire afternoon about something I wanted her to buy for me that she wouldn't. She cannot remember this episode at all. She does not remember ever spanking me.
post #36 of 206
I was spanked too but I don't think I would go so far as to say I was abused (although I wonder sometimes). I don't think I could ever spank my children in the way I was spanked but I do struggle (and succumb more often than I would like) with the urge to smack my toddler's hand away from things--cat litter, stove, fireplace tools, etc . . ., things I can't really put up that would really hurt him if he continued or when he is being super strong willed about things (like grasping and undoing my knitting and not letting go of it or kicking me when he doesn't want to get his diaper changed). I don't really know how to get him to stop these things when he's doing them.

I chose that I was spanked 1-4 times throughout my childhood but it may be closer to 6-8 times. I am talking about all-out spankings with a belt (very rarely) or with "Mr. DoGood" which was an old slipper of my father's or with a hand. My sister once got hit with the handle of a vacuum cleaner and my brother, well, I think he was abused. He is the most spirited of all of us. What was worse, though, to me, was the threat of being spanked which I was always in fear of. I did get other physical "disciplinings" such as my ear pulled when I wasn't listening/being obedient, smacked in the mouth for talking back or being rude, or just plain slapped if I did something out of sorts. I can't see myself doing any of these things to my children. I don't believe I needed it and I feel like it just made me very afraid and distrustful of my parents in that I always felt like I couldn't slip up and had to always be on my p's and q's around them because if not, they would snap. My parents were not playful in that way and our household was pretty much a serious and somber place where the focus was on education and religion--therefore discipline was very high on the list of priorities and we did not receive much more discipline than spankings or other physical things. I am now working on how to implement real discipline in my parenting style.
post #37 of 206
I was raised in a spanking family, but being "the good kid" I *only* got spanked twice, and I remember it vividly. Most of my siblings were spanked more frequently for "defiant" behavior, and it always made me so incredibly angry. I remember my older brother was definitely abused. I remember seeing bruises on his butt more than once.
post #38 of 206

Yes, I was spanked on a regular basis, but I wouldn't consider myself "abused."

I was smacked a lot, but don't concider me being abused as it was for being bad eg me and a friend using my mums make up to decorate ourselfs and the bathroom, a friend of mine sticking paper in the fire so we could have a fire in the back garden and ending up burning a hole in the carpet.
i was never hit with anything other than a hand and really were for those who were. My mum did hit quite hard and i remember on more than one occasion been knocked over when she hit me and i would often put my hands up in deffence whenever she was angry.
post #39 of 206
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
There is a divide here in the GD forum regarding whether or not all spanking is abuse. I see varying degrees, and there is a grey area where it's hard to tell...at "best" (and I use the term best loosely - when done rarely, with a hand, over clothes), spanking is insensitive, ineffective, mean-spirited, and sends all the wrong messages to a child. At its worst, it's downright abuse. Personally, I see the difference, though I would NEVER condone hitting a child in any way. Just want to be SUPER clear about that - I do NOT in any way, shape, or form support hitting children in any manner.
That's why I placed on the poll "do YOU consider it to be abuse"- I wanted adults to recall their own experiences, and obviously many people were spanked but don't think of their parents as abusers.

I'm also starting to see a pattern. Those who were abused tend have very strong feelings about NOT hurting their children. These stronger feelings seem to prevent any kind of violence against their children- but when it does happen, they tend to feel absolutely awful and put a lot of energy into making sure it never happens again.

Those who were "only spanked" seem to have a harder time in the heat of the moment- I'm guessing that subconsciously, there's a feeling of "spanking isn't THAT bad- I was spanked and I turned out OK" and are more likely to lose control and spank or almost spank.
post #40 of 206
No, I was never spanked. I remember distinctly one time being punished by having to stand in the corner. I remember it so clearly because it was so unusual in our household! I was never grounded either.
It's sad that I'm in the minority in this poll (so far).
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