Does this bug you?

[ekblad9]

OK - so I've been through this a few times and you know what really bothers me? It's that everyone wants to be here for the birth and to hold the baby everyday after she's born but I don't see anyone knocking down my door to help me out now. I would kill for a nap or a couple hour break from my youngest two a couple times/week. I don't expect people's lives to stop or anything but it just bugs me that people want to be here for the birth (which I kind of don't even want) but not to help out in this last week. Sorry - I'm probably just selfish.

[timneh_mom]

Nope, nobody is bugging us to see the baby immediately or be there for the birth (my answer would be a NO so loud, you'd be able to hear it in the next state over!!). But, I have had very few offers of help now either. Unfortunately, my MIL's idea of "helping" me the last time was to hog the baby, never give him to me for feedings and who knows what else so I could do who knows what! I'd rather have no help at all than that kind of help.

I don't think you are being selfish at all, if people EXPECT you to share such a private, significant moment in your life, they should be more than happy to help you before and after this time! (Besides, all women at the end of pregnancy are totally entitled to ANY and ALL of their feelings NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE!!! Because, this is hard!!)

[lanielayne]

I sure know how that feels! I would do anything for a little help with dinner or cleaning right now!

[kayjayjay]

I'm sorry you're struggling! I would love some help too, but I know no one will do it so I'm trying not to think about it. I'm sitting around with a cold, watching my nice clean home (from my few weeks of nesting) go to he** around me, and I've just decided to let it go. I know it will after the baby comes anyway.

timnehmom, my MIL did something like that after DD#3 was born. She came over and offered to hold the baby so I could sweep the floors and do laundry. : :

[FireflyFan]

Originally Posted by ekblad8

I don't expect people's lives to stop or anything but it just bugs me that people want to be here for the birth (which I kind of don't even want) but not to help out in this last week. Sorry - I'm probably just selfish.

I strongly advise you to put your foot down and say a big fat NO to extra people at the birth. It's either Marsden Wagner or Michel Odent who says that the length of time of a woman's labor is increased by the number of people who are present at the birth.

Oh, and word to needing the help with housecleaning et al. Heck, I need help NOW and the baby's not born yet!

I'm so mad at DH because doing the dishes is his job, yet I've been doing them every day for two weeks. Last night he came into the kitchen while I was doing them, and he said guiltily, "Oh, let me finish that." And did he finish them? NO!! He gets away with it because I go to bed almost 3 hours earlier than he does. So then I have to finish the dishes in the morning. I can't leave them to sit because the babysitter comes over every morning to feed my kids breakfast and drive them to school. Ugh, I just had to get that vent off my chest!!!!!

[ekblad9]

The nighttime dishes are supposed to be my dh and older kid's job too and it rarely gets done. The kids do what they can but dh has really dropped the ball. I also wake up to a sink full of dishes and it's SO annoying!

Unless I need help with my toddler during labor I won't be calling anyone until I'm well into labor and almost to the pushing stage. My mom would die if she wasn't here when the baby was actually born even though I won't let her in the room

[PookieMom]

with the birth of my daughter i told the nurses I only wanted two people in the room, my husband and another relative or friend. They said no problem and when i was in labor about 10 different people showed up. The nurses relayed the message and would you believe they took it to mean they needed to alternate! Every time i looked up there was someone different asking me how i was feeling! That got really annoying fast. And they all wonder why my blood pressure went up and i had to have a c/s, bah:

Anyway, when they came over after the baby was born i did a lot of hinting:

"the baby spit up, can you grab me a towel.....if there's any clean" (hint: put a load of towels in the washer)

"oooh, i could really use a drink.....if there are any glasses clean" (hint: wash a few dishes)

"I think there are onesies in the dryer....heck, just bring in the whole basket" (hint: help me fold them)

Deep down, people like to help other people, they just don't really know what to do and need a hint here and there