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Now honestly, How come AP'ing is soooo hard? - Page 2

post #21 of 24
One of the hardest aspects of AP for us was standing up to ILs who blamed Dd's marked stranger and separation anxiety (meaning she wouldn't let them hold her) on our AP ways. They had never seen parenting like this and felt threatened that we did things differently than they did. Like Dh thought they were bad parents.

If Dd wanted to be close to me, I let her hang on. I would ask if she watned to go to MIL, and if she buried her head in my breast, I didn't hand her over. They said "we've never seen a baby as fearful as this, blahblahblah." I was told I was creating a social cripple and Dd seriously questioned some of AP's principles. I announced they were not negotiable.

Well now, Dd (after some getting reacquainted since she doesn't see them often), has a great time with the ILs. Dd sat in MIL's lap beaming at her, rubbing noses, and I whispered to Dh -behold: the social cripple. Now they talk about her great personality. And I get to make an AP I told you so. I think Dd is starting to show the confidence that comes the extreme security she feels, thanks to AP.

This kind of challenge is different from what many of you describe, probably because my Dd is (I hate to label) "easy." And I roll with the punches. But one way or another, we will all find that it pays off.
post #22 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the response, but I'm overwhelmed at the questions and don't know if I could get to them all. Well I'm starting to think its just my kids who are high needs intense individuals who need alot of attention. I was trying to blame AP'ing for that and it shouldn't be the case.

I don't even know how to describe their personalities. They were both feisty, spirited, active, energenic go getters since the moment they were born. Both hated being tied down in their carseats and cried through every trip, couldn't stand sitting in shopping carts and always tried to climb out of strollers. They were always going going going, busy busy busy.

They were both early learners at everything, walking at 9 months, talking early & my daughter is now doing great at potty training when we are home. She's been going on the potty at home since she was 17 mos, the first time at 14 mos.

So I guess its just my kids who are so hard, they demand so much from me. At the end of every day it feels like I've had all my life sucked out of me and have to replenish it with a good nights sleep (which I never get).

I've never met two kids in my entire life who were so attached to their mother like mine are. They have to be constantly touching, climbing or jumping on me as long as I'm in the same room with them. My daughter still can't be away from me for too long, especially in the evenings. But what can you do, enjoy it while it lasts I guess.

Thanks again for all the responses, I've got alot of insight from them.

Mommy to 4 year old son & 19 month old daughter.
post #23 of 24
Jungle mommy here. I am my kids favorite plaything. I know what you mean about having two kids touching you all the time. It gets old. I have a five year old and a 2 1/2 year old who are always on the go. They are loud, and can't figure out exactly what an indoor voice is. DS2 can have tantrums that last for half an hour. I didn't get a full night sleep until ds2 was 20 months. I kicked him out of my bed to save my sanity when he was six months (I have sleep issues of my own that didn't fare well with cosleeping) but continued to night nurse until he was around 16 months. I started eliminating a feeding at a time then, but was with him the whole time, he never CIO'd.

Right now I find that gentle discipline is the tough thing. It can take so much energy to get down on their level and explain, explain, explain. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, but I know that when they are older, all the effort and explaining I'm doing now will pay off then. At that time my mainstream cohorts will be trying to figure out why their kids are out of control and where they went wrong. At least that's what I tell myself.:LOL
post #24 of 24
How come AP Mothering is soooo hard??? Simply put? Because anything truly worth having in life is NEVER easy. You are doing the right thing. Keep it up.
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