or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Baby Health › Vaccinations › Selective & Delayed Vaccination › most ridiculous chixpox vax story EVER!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

most ridiculous chixpox vax story EVER!

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Looking for support and to vent...
I selectively vax and have a ped who helps me skip certain vaxes but still call them a complete set... Unf. my 7yrold had the varicella to get into kindergarten, but hooray! 3yrold just came down with it. 1yrold appears to be next.

You would think the kid had small pox. Maybe even bird flu. I am getting grief from all sides. Except my mom, sis, MIL and ped, I have only talked to two other people who were in support of delaying that particular vax. I've been on the phone or email daily since Friday with the gal we carpool to school with. Her older daughter (vaccinated) was in the car maybe twice with my son (and a whole row away, out of droplet range). She said at first that her ped recommended she not ride with us for two weeks. She is just floored that I haven't vaccinated. She canceled four playdates this week just in case her oldest has passed something on to her youngest (also vaxxed and not at all exposed to my son) even though i sent her links showing the near statistical impossibility of that. And the kicker? Drum roll please..... :

As of tonight, I have been summarily dismissed from carpool status forever. She told my husband and I (by phone, speaking of CHICKEN...) that it might be fine for our family but it's not acceptable to hers. That it is a safety issue and she has been losing sleep at night thinking about it. She said everything has been fine up until now but this just isn't ok to her, not vaccinating your children. (As if someone who doesn't vax also runs red lights too?) She feels badly but she hopes she'll see us around and no hard feelings. (She lives next door to my mom, she will definitely see us around.)

I have been working VERY hard at the whole different families make different choices concept. I've been explaining that to my children a lot lately too. But this one is really taking the cake for me. I understand she has to do what she feels is right. I understand my choice is not her choice. But couldn't we just let the chicken pox pass and pick up where we left off?

Thank you for letting me get this out. And for any supportive links, info, stories. I'm aware of the basics (varicella being the least effective vax, etc.) but have been so busy with Mr. Itchy (not what you'd call a stoic) and his crazy lil' bro (whose craziness has nothing to do with chicken pox -- yet --and everything to do with being one) that I haven't had a moment to research.

God Bless Mothering... I might be a pariah in my community, but there's always some great support here!
post #2 of 29
Thread Starter 
never mind resources. she doesn't want to hear it. i called to talk to her today and she hung up on me. it's gone beyond the vax thing i suppose. anyhow, i still appreciate the room to rant!
post #3 of 29
When people say that my children arent safe to be around theres because I do not vax, I say, whats the prob? Afraid that your child will get something? Thought they were vaxed? Oh they were, then whats the real prob???????
post #4 of 29
yeah - great. also tell her that since cp vax is a live vaccine - maybe one of her vaxed kids gave it to yours. stinks to feel alone doesn't it? but in the end you are better off without her. so sorry this happened to you.
post #5 of 29
Thread Starter 

update on the insanity

thanks so much for the support. it goes to reason, your kids are vaxxed, why the fear... she doesn't see it that way.

so i spent all day today trying to just let go and it worked well. there is no reason to put energy toward something negative. move on, be an adult, stick to your standards and understand that different is going to cause eyebrows if not dirty looks and thoughts. HOWEVER...

when ds1 (age 7) got in the car after school (yea, i had to drive, even though it wasn't technically my day, but that was then, this is now and such is life he told me he was called to the clinic today and made to pull his shirt up to be checked for pox. he wanted to know why and why did I call the school to have them do that? i asked him who has told at school and he said "No one." now my blood is boiling all over again. hubby is wondering if she'll call DFACs next. i'm more upset that the school didn't call me. and of course that she saw fit to get the school involved at all.

it's all a bit much. but on the upside? the hits just keep on coming. and this will make one HECK of an essay. brain, child or newsweek "my turn" here i come!
post #6 of 29
Geez, she doesn't have much faith in those all-important vaccines, does she?!

Quote:
her ped recommended she not ride with us for two weeks.
And apparently, her ped has little faith in them as well.

If I were you, I'd call the school and read them the riot act for not calling you for confirmation BEFORE hauling your kid in to check for pox.
post #7 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by spero View Post
If I were you, I'd call the school and read them the riot act for not calling you for confirmation BEFORE hauling your kid in to check for pox.
:
post #8 of 29
I'm another one that would be raising HELL with the school principal. Who the hell do they think they are by taking your child and physically examining him like that without your consent?

Then, the next time I ran into this woman, I'd ask her why, if she believes in the power of vaccines so strongly that she can no longer have anything to do with you, then why is she so afraid to have her children around someone who has been vaccinated and DOES NOT have chickenpox? Actually, that's not what I'd say. What I really would say I cannot type here, but it would be in reference to her minding her own damned business. She's on some sort of power trip and children's emotions are involved here. I'd be furious if she made a spectacle out of my child like this.
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
mommy2baby --
i run the gamet from furious to really hurt (i'm kinda sensitive, a people-pleaser) it's a bit like grief.

but the truth is, i found out she made such a freak of herself calling the school and then calling her daughter's teacher that all i really need to do is sit back and let her unravel and i should come out smelling just fine here.

but it has been a very unsettling week.

and the school is not ok by me. i've met with my son's teacher and the vice prinicpal and do not feel my concerns have been heard. you will not believe this when you read it -- my son goes to a catholic school. with all of the molestation issues on the hot burner, you would think the LAST thing anyone at a catholic school would do would be to have a child lift their shirt.

it chaps the hide and it rings a bell of change for me.

the saga will continue 'round here i'm sure!

thank you all for hearing me!!!!!
i
post #10 of 29
Quote:
but the truth is, i found out she made such a freak of herself calling the school and then calling her daughter's teacher that all i really need to do is sit back and let her unravel and i should come out smelling just fine here.
Niiiiice!

I'd love for you to keep us updated.
post #11 of 29
:

i've said it before and will again i really don't understand why cp panicks people so much they HAVE TO get the child vaccinated against, what shock, horror there dc might have to spend a few days off school : it's not the plague, its spots and maybe a fever, my lo's were still causing havoc running round the room etc when they had cp the only thing that bothered them was the calamine lotion.
post #12 of 29
I have one that just finished the Pox, one just starting and hopefully two more to start soon. They were thrilled to miss school and hang around watching tv and playing computer games but other than the spots you would never guess they were "sick".

We accidently exposed at least 60+ kids and some parents were quite happy when they found out. Maybe we facilitated an "outbreak" LOL.

BTW that woman is NUTS your better off without her in your life.
post #13 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapscallions View Post
my son goes to a catholic school. with all of the molestation issues on the hot burner, you would think the LAST thing anyone at a catholic school would do would be to have a child lift their shirt.
I hope you said that to them! I think my head would explode if my child were so examined at school without my knowledge. The only exception I'd make to that would be lice.
post #14 of 29
I don't understand why people flip out over the Chickenpox. I got it in 4th grade, at the time my whole class got it. We were all THRILLED to have it. Yeah, it was itchy but we got to stay out of school for a while. Since when is it some life threatening disease?

Geesh, it's not like the chickenpox is going to suddenly cause everyone to drop dead. I just don't understand some people. The sad thing is she thinks you're the dumb one for not vaxing, yet she probably has no clue about what's in the vax's.
post #15 of 29
Now see, I'm on the other side of things. I don't understand why so many people seem to assume that *death* is the only bad thing that can happen as the result of a VPD. I had chicken pox and I do not remember feeling THRILLED. I remember feeling sick and itchy. I don't know how my mom managed to save my skin.

Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp
post #16 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettypixels View Post
Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp

The infamous worst case scenario pictures. Those pictures are not at all representative of what usually happens when a person gets chickenpox. Could a person develop necrotizing fasciitis as a complication from infected cp lesions? Sure. It could also happen from an infected bug bite or paper cut, but I don't freak out in these southern summers when DD usually has 12 to 15 bug bites at a time and scratches them lustily.
post #17 of 29
Those images are scary, but I don't know anyone who ever had it that bad. My mother (to my great embarrassment) tells everyone about when I had cp, I had it between my toes and on my eyelids and on my genitals. I'm sure it was awful. But I am here just fine, don't even remember it (I was 4) and b/c I had it bad once I don't have to worry about getting it again. I know lots of folks who got mild cases and then got it again later, much worse that time.

My little bro. had it as a baby and was in the hospital for 2 days, but again, was fine and is now a strapping young man.

As for that other woman, does she not understand how vaccines work? They should feel just a-ok with their kids being around your kids since they're protected! And for her to judge your parenting choices, ugh. The mommy wars continue...
post #18 of 29
Speaking of worst case scenario pictures...
Those who advocated CP vaxing should be aware of that practice causing a lot more of this.
(warning...graphic photos)
http://www.skinsite.com/info_herpes_zoster.htm
post #19 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by 13Sandals View Post
yeah - great. also tell her that since cp vax is a live vaccine - maybe one of her vaxed kids gave it to yours. stinks to feel alone doesn't it? but in the end you are better off without her. so sorry this happened to you.
:

Uh, why is SHE scared for her kids if she believes the vax is safe and effective? They should be impervious to your infectious children, if they have been vaxed!
post #20 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettypixels View Post
Some photos of chickenpox and subsequent complications... in the interest of full disclosure.
http://www.vaccineinformation.org/varicel/photos.asp
My mom had it like this when she was little. In her eyes and her vagina. She is very much anti-CP vax.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Selective & Delayed Vaccination
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Baby Health › Vaccinations › Selective & Delayed Vaccination › most ridiculous chixpox vax story EVER!