odd question -- anyone here adopt a tot or pre-schooler? how?

[Momma Aimee]

Dh and I are looking in to adoption.

We know we WILL adopt at some point, now if it is to me now or 5 years from now we are not sure.

I have been looking at state waiting children, and at some adgencies --

the state waiting children are all older -- which is something we've talked about for adoptin in a few years, but we don't feel would work well now.

the adgencies are all -- working with birth moms to help her pick a family -- thus you are waiting for a new born. or so it seems to me.

Dh and I would actually perfer to adopt a tot or pre- schooler. obviously we'd never turn down a baby, but do not want to play the game of waiting for a new born whiel there ARE children out there who are already born and need a family.

I am not finding tot adopting options. that or i am jsut too dumb to look in the right places.

Anyone ---

Did anyone here adopt a tot domestically? or am I going to have to look internationally?

Surely there ARE tots and pre-schoolers here that need homes?

Thoughts? advice?

Aimee

[frog]

Have you contacted your foster care system or agencies that license foster families? I'd think they could point you in the right direction, if not help you directly.

Good luck! Two of my favorite Small Friends were adopted as toddlers (one at 14 months, one at 2 years 9 months).

[Diane B]

There are definitely toddlers and preschoolers available through international adoption, from several countries. There's a huge need, because most people prefer to adopt younger children. The agency we worked with in Guatemala is always looking for people to adopt older children. These are usually children whose birth parents tried to take care of and couldn't for various reasons, and they ended up in an orphanage or private hogar. We have close friends who adopted a 2 year old this way, and also good friends who adopted a six year old from Eitiopia. So that's one option.

My particular state does not seem to have very many children under 5 available for adoption, unless they are the youngest in a sibling group, or have severe medical needs and/or disabilities (like around-the-clock care, blind and deaf, etc.) I wonder if this might be because these kids are easier to place with their relatives (a strong preference in my state), and perhaps less likely to enter the system since they are not in school or other places where abuse/neglect might be more obvious, or because the parents are still being given opportunities to get their acts together and rights have not yet been terminated. States and counties are extremely variable in this regard, however.

[alicia622]

I think why you are not finding any children in the age group you are looking at is because many of the younger children are adopted by their foster families. If you look at the AdoptUSKids website, you will see that the younger kids have pretty significant issues. It's very sad because these are really the kids no one 'wants'. I shouldn't really use wants, because for many people, the reality is they couldn't take care of such high needs children.

[Momma Aimee]

I suspect all of the above is true -- babies not "given up" at birth -- likely don't see much of the system till school age when there is an outsider to notice lack of proper care.

I am not opposed to international, however, am dauntd by the long time invloved, and the higher cost. Actually started out dedicated to only international, then slowly warmed to dom in hopes of it beign a slightly faster process.

AImee

[mamarhu]

All the above reasons, plus: the photolistings are generally only the kids who are already waiting, and often (depending on the state) the hardest to place. Your area may well have many more kids who are not listed publically, but are in need of permanant homes.

The informational meetings given by your local department of children's services would be a starting place for your area.