or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › "Leashes" for children.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

"Leashes" for children. - Page 4

post #61 of 89
Yes I have used them with the twins if I didn't I would have one running out between cars I use the dog backpack style ones. I usually put them on them backwards so they boys are hugging the dog, we also try freeze instead of stop and play the freeze game at home where we dance and jump then say freeze and eveyone has to freeze but it only works about 50% of the time so yes for saftey I do use the backpacks if I didn't I would never be able to leave the house and that would make for one : mama bear
post #62 of 89
I have used one for my Autistic son, when he was smaller. He doesn't bolt and nearly take my arm with him like he used to do anymore, so no need for one.

I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do. I had legitimate reasons to use one.

If someone ever approached me in public about it, I would tell them to mind their own business.

I used mine as a back up device in case my son tried to bolt. Just an extra measure of security. Not used in place of my hand or watchful eye, but as an assitance tool.

If my two yr old needs one, I will use one again.
post #63 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do.
I am at this point in my life right now.
post #64 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do. I had legitimate reasons to use one.

If someone ever approached me in public about it, I would tell them to mind their own business.
:
If dh and I are successful in our attempts to conceive again, I'm planning a HBA3C. However, if something does go wrong, and I have to transfer, ds2 will be on the harness for a few weeks (unless the weather's extra crappy or something - then we'll mostly be inside, anyway).
post #65 of 89
I have a pretty strap of Guatamalen fabric that I keep in my diaper bag. In certain situations, I tie it around my wrist and ds's wrist or waist. So, I guess it's a tether of sorts.

I like it. I use it in situations where there is stuff I'd like to look at. For instance, a street fair or a festival. I use it so we can both relax. I can browse, he can explore and stay safe.

He calls it a leash (we have a dog). I have no problem with that. I do not use it too much because I also want him to be in the habit of holding hands.
post #66 of 89
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post

I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do. I had legitimate reasons to use one.


I read that other thread. What a train wreck. I would use one in your shoes too (and who knows, the jury isn't out on my shoes either, I won't judge!).
post #67 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do. I had legitimate reasons to use one.

If someone ever approached me in public about it, I would tell them to mind their own business.
:
post #68 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
May I just ask why any of those circumstances equal using the harness "as a babysitter"?
"Babysitting" might have been the wrong word. I was referring to instances where I have seen the child practically just dragged along behind the parent and no family members are paying attention to the child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
I don't get it. So it's okay to use one in really large crowds (Disney, fairs, etc) to prevent a child from wandering away or getting kidnapped. But it's not okay to use one in the mall, grocery shopping, walking down the street to prevent the child from wandering away or getting kidnapped? Why is that?
Of course it is never right to let a child wander away, but there are some circumstances that are safer than others. My examples might not have been exactly what I was looking for. An example of when it's ok: a family of 8 is going to the Mall of America with two other large families. The parents are all watching out for all the kids, but at the end of the day they realize one is missing. If that child was tethered, he wouldn't have went missing. Thankfully he had only been missing for a short time and was reunited with his family quickly. (This is a true story, and maybe the reason why I am so scared to say tethers are evil.)
post #69 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by BornInSeptember View Post
"Babysitting" might have been the wrong word. I was referring to instances where I have seen the child practically just dragged along behind the parent and no family members are paying attention to the child.
I've got you. But, that's about how the harness is used, not about where the harness is used. I used mine when shopping once or twice - not more than that, as I didn't need it when I was fit enough to really shop again. But, I had dd on the harness a few times when picking up an item or two after the c-section. I certainly wasn't using it as a babysitter.
post #70 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I have used one for my Autistic son, when he was smaller. He doesn't bolt and nearly take my arm with him like he used to do anymore, so no need for one.

I don't apologize or give excuses. If someone doesn't like the fact that I used a leash/tether/harness/whatever, I don't really care. You don't live my life and don't know why I make decisions the way I do. I had legitimate reasons to use one.

If someone ever approached me in public about it, I would tell them to mind their own business.

I used mine as a back up device in case my son tried to bolt. Just an extra measure of security. Not used in place of my hand or watchful eye, but as an assitance tool.

If my two yr old needs one, I will use one again.
what she said, exactly.

I never used it to drag around ds, but I needed it for a back up device because he was so unpredictable in those years. I haven't had to use it for a long time, but I keep it in my diaper bag in case he needs it. We got a stroller with a stand on thing on the back and that helps a lot in situations where I used to use a tether. I can't usually wear dd (unless dh is with me) since I might have to deal with a meltdown, and the stroller has been a great tool for us. I don't really give care if people are judgemental about the stroller either. They have no idea what it is like to be in my shoes.
post #71 of 89
I guess I am more of a continuum concept type of mother. I think that any restraining device, be it a baby carrier, stroller or harness should be avoided for a toddler or child except where circumstances are such that you absolutely have to do it to ensure safety (or of course if if the child WANTS to be in it (for example, she is tired or just wants to relax or be held)). Otherwise, I do not believe in systematically putting ANY restraining device on a child. I let my DD walk with me. If circumstances demand that she be held or sit in a stroller, then she gets picked up or put in the stroller for that limited period of time (in our case, usually a few minutes). Otherwise, she walks with me. I think that the more you encourage your child to walk with you, the quicker he will learn to do just that.

In what circumstances you think you NEED to restrain is your call, based on the age and temperament of your child, how many other small children you have with you and the environment in which you are in.

While we do use a stroller for when safety requires it, I tend to think that forcing a child to sit in a stroller is probably the worst because then you are just teaching him that being carted around in chair is better than walking or running. Why would I want to teach my child to be lazy? At least with the leash or harness, he can walk.
post #72 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post
I think that the more you encourage your child to walk with you, the quicker he will learn to do just that.
Are you planning on having any more kids? Because I would love to quote this and get back to you in 20 years.


I find it *really* funny that those who are quick to pass judgement on harnesses/leashes are also those who have children who are willing to hold their hand or stop when told to stop. Can you (general you) not even consider that there are children who won't- or can't- do this? Can you really not see that there are some very real risks when you have a child like that? Unless you are done having children then you should be prepared to eat your words, should you have a runner, a child with autism, or any of the other reason we use harnesses. I know I, and other mamas on this board, have done just that and changed our opinions on them very quickly.
post #73 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Are you planning on having any more kids? Because I would love to quote this and get back to you in 20 years.


I find it *really* funny that those who are quick to pass judgement on harnesses/leashes are also those who have children who are willing to hold their hand or stop when told to stop. Can you (general you) not even consider that there are children who won't- or can't- do this? Can you really not see that there are some very real risks when you have a child like that? Unless you are done having children then you should be prepared to eat your words, should you have a runner, a child with autism, or any of the other reason we use harnesses. I know I, and other mamas on this board, have done just that and changed our opinions on them very quickly.

Um, I would have preferred that you quote all of my post and not just one sentence. In particular, I think you should have read this part:

Quote:
In what circumstances you think you NEED to restrain is your call, based on the age and temperament of your child, how many other small children you have with you and the environment in which you are in.
post #74 of 89
I'm ALL for them. I would use a harness on my son if necessary.
post #75 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demeter9 View Post
Tried them, but my kids are like leashing cats. They immediately hit the bushes and run around lamp posts. :>
:
post #76 of 89
I bought some cute little leashes with stuffed animal backpacks which attach to the leash. I have ten month old twins and I think they will be necessary when I take them out in public by myself. I would rather people think I am mean for having them on a leash than lose one of my kids.
post #77 of 89
I would have used one with my eldest, except dh was vehemently opposed to the subject. Now that I am a more experienced Mom (and partner) I would just go get one. His safety issues with the kids as a 6 foot tall fit male were totally different from mine as a five foot tall pregnant then carrying a newborn female. IMO, if mama (or any primary caregiver) feels that it is life and death, buy the harness.

My eldest has always had an explosive temperement. She might give every indication of understanding the rules and being willing to hold hands and stay on the sidewalk, and then suddenly....not. We had a very very scary close call on this busy hill we lived on when she was a toddler and dd2 was a newborn. I had to make a quick decision and let go of the stroller and let it roll into the street. What if dd2 had been in the stroller rather than in her sling? Would I save the older child and let her roll into the street? Would I hold onto the stroller and let the older child get hit by the car? Run out into the street with the stroller and put it right into the path of oncoming traffic, risking the wheels sticking? There's no good answer to that one. It's all well and good to say "never" when your child is not the bolter.

After that, for about the next 6 months we had a rule that she could not get out of the stroller until we had reached our destination and she had to get right back into the stroller afterward. This really, really sucked. She hated being strapped in and it made leaving massively difficult. We didn't have a car and the roads were just not safe for a kid who would randomly make a run for it when she got angry. Carrying her and pushing the baby was not an option since she was already massive and weighed in at about 45 pounds and more than half my height.

Like I said, if I had a do-over? I'd buy that harness in a heartbeat.
post #78 of 89
Owachi --- I agree with you completely. As mothers it is so easy and tempting to pass mean judgement.
Let's all open our hearts and minds. Yes, a leash doesn't look pretty and doesn't look gentle and loving ... and yes it is a restraining device.
Only the mother of the child can know why she needs to do what she does.

If a mother does not feel comfortable letting her child roam free then why pass judgment? She is doing the best she can at the time. I used to be VEHEMENTLY against leashes. Now that I have my own free bird wild child ... I am feeling like a BOOB for giving people dirty looks for the leashes. Now I see a protective parent that loves their child and decided that's the best option at the time.

And Mamas with a child with autism. Hats off to you. I know how hard it can be.
post #79 of 89
I don't like them. I think there are lots of other alternatives that are better.
post #80 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by thehappyhippo View Post
I don't like them. I think there are lots of other alternatives that are better.
Such as?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › "Leashes" for children.