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“Everyday Blessings” Part VI ~ Book Discussion & Tea Party - Page 15

post #281 of 330
Cheryl, didn't mean to leave you out of the hugs!


(If I forgot someone, somebody please fill in for me -- brain dead, here!)
post #282 of 330
funny el- i get up early to excercise too. (note the currrent time as i write down my dream and eat my food to get ready for this)

it keeps me sane i swear. the only only time i have the whole day to myself.

and thanks for the hugs! always can use one!

to elaborate on the season concept, the times of the years to notice big changes are 3/21/03 and 9/23/03. in march the energy begins climbing, and with that come our lessons. (bear with me on this), but the idea is that before we incarnated, we planned on accomplishing many things/lessons relating to balancing our mind/body and spririt along with our masculine/feminine child parts. all a part of us. all equally important.

so like nature, the process of growth occurs, and many lessons come in with the raised energy, and you find you are being put to the test in many areas. with this your dreams are always relaying the aspect of yourself out of balance and needing work. but many people have trouble remembering them this time of the year. it's like all of this high energy has people buzzing about and if you aren't a little bit centered (through meditation or something simliar) you will find it harder to pin down those racing images.

then in september, the energy drops, and your dreams become very clear and easier to remember, as it is the time to reflect on the growing season, and prepare for the next growing season to see what you have accomplished and what you have missed.

lessons slow down, energy drops. people are forced to slow down by getting sick. people who are very ill might hang on til right after the holidays and then die. (the pruning) or you will notice what you needed to rid yourself of in reflection, and those parts of you will die.

the beginning of the growing season is less obvious to me then the end of the growing season when the energy drops. i have woken up sick and noticed it was literally the night the energy dropped. it's not always that dramatic, but you get the picture.

also note the cycles within the cycles. every 7 years within our lives, and with relationships themselves you'll see a dying off and regeneration.

many break ups/ marriages/ occupational changes etc will occur on or right before the 7 year change.

i.e, i had dd when i was 21 yrs old, bought my house and got married when i was 28 years old, (haven't reached 35, but can be a biggy!) and then in your marriage, many split up @ 7 yr cycles, or move closer through their growth together to a new level of closeness.

there is endless written on these concepts in many different eastern philosiphies. it speaks to me, but maybe not everyone.

okay- off to work out before moonman wakes up!
post #283 of 330
It is so nice to come here and have other people feel the way I feel. That wanting to run away feeling I have been having lately I wouldn't and I know I will get over it, but I have been really feeling the restrictiveness on my personal growth where DD is concerned. NOt being able to do what I want when I want.

7 year cycles! DH and I got married 6 1/2 yrs after we started dating and now have been married 6 yrs. And we are having a hard time! I know we will work through it and we will be stronger inthe end (at least I hope so DH may have diferent ideas) but it helps to realize that part of this is just the time of the cycle.
Here comes a rant - no need to read it if you don't want to.
AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH Yesterday I really felt like I had so much to do and going on but DD was really awake and needing her relaxation. OMG and mymom has been pissing me off lately. She is so critical of everybody else and it makes me feel critisized too. Doesn't she get that? And I really wanted to play softball and not bieng able to get into the game with DD there means that I am just sucking at it now and I really feel frustrated at that. Plus I am not nearly as strong as I used to be and can't get hit to save my life or the game for that matter. I wanted to go out with the team afterwards but felt so restricted by having to go home and put DD to bed. The stupid water heater cost so much and I am really ranting right now. So my mom thinks I am crazy for still nursing and she keeps warning me about the family bed and that I will have to lie down with DD toput her to sleep forever. I mean, so what! DD actually tells me stuff while we are lying in bed. I don't know what but one day she will speak the same language as I do. And it is meditative for me in a way. Sometimes I hate it, but some days I get a lot out of it KWIM? I can read sometimes too. Besides who knows what I will have to do for years? Maybe I won't and I will miss it. And the nursing thing, she is going to be grateful for it on the plane when it helps DD relax!

Thanks for the hug El, needed it.

to everyone. Have a nice weekend too.
post #284 of 330

(...peeking around the corner)

Yes, I'm still here... but in a new space. I've moved in w/my grandmother (89 yrs old) in CT to help her transition into a new life somewhere else (needs to move out of her house). Of COURSE this is the time that mother nature chose to give ds the most painful teething experience we've ever had... and it has been going on for DAYS. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do. Dh is here for now, but he leaves on Tuesday, and then I'm on my own until Aug 2nd. I am scared beyond belief.

The seven-year-itch? Dh and I just (6/29) celebrated our 7th anniversary. And things have been SO up and down lately it's just plain icky.

I went to a women's college, and I am reminded, by reading the posts begun by El on 7/2 (yes, it has been a while since I've been able to get here...) about the way our menstrual cycles would begin to "unite" in the houses. We're all in this yucky spot right now, aren't we? Thanks for your explanation, Cheryl - I really enjoyed it. I need to re-read it and give myself time to process it in relation to my life over the last years.

This post is just random thoughts, I guess - just wanted to thank all of you for the honesty and compassion we find here, and to thank El for the hug! I needed it, too. BADLY.

Don't know when I'll have time to be back. I actually brought EB along, but don't know when I'll have time to read it. I'm just hoping for a night of sleep that isn't interrupted every hour. I'm seriously close to night-weaning and moving ds out of our bed 'cause I just can't handle it much longer... but I know this will pass when we're through this teething stage (always does). I just wish I knew how to 1) get him to sleep and 2) get him to STAY asleep. Oy.

Thanks, everyone. Hugs all around!
post #285 of 330
Thread Starter 
(havent had a chance to read all the new posts) Hi all! I just got back to my sister's. I've been all over Texas and am having a great time. I wont be back home for another week and a half. Im glad to see you all are still carrying on w/o me. I gotta run...

post #286 of 330
Thread Starter 
I am dizzy and feeling very comforted after reading all the posts. I'm feeling very emotional today and tired. Dh and I are going on 13 years and I am trying so hard to figure out why I am being so critical of our relationship. It doesnt help that I keep thinking about the movie/book "Bridges of Madison County" (which was filmed about 45 minutes from my house where the bridges are) and how much I feel like Meryl Streep did in her life. I want to much to feel that passion for my dh that she felt for Clint Eastwood. I know it's just a movie/book but seriously I feel so much in a rut with dh and my life. I dont want to go home yet and I am really feeling depressed. Dh and I are going to keep trying and I am going to go to therapy when I get back. In the meantime ds and I are enjoying our vacation and my family is being so supportive. I've nursed ds in every possible situation that you can imagine and lots of comical stuff I want to share but I am toooo exhausted, it's late and I need to go to bed.

Thanks for the hugs, El and I enjoyed your explanation too Cheryl. Thanks all for your posts.
post #287 of 330
the last 3 posts have really spoken to me cos its right where Im at. Its funny (but not) that we are all feeling this at the same time.

Now that Im not using any kind of bcontrol (dh had vasectomy) I feel much more in touch with women and myself especially......that these feelings come up and Im forced to look at them. Seems like especially during ovulation. Anyone else? I wonder if I get depressed/feel trapped b/c Im suppose to be doing more with my life. Why else would that come up? I really struggle with not feeling as happy as I should.......

Hey mamas, are we suppose to be talking about the book? Or are we waiting for Curlylocks to get back???
post #288 of 330
Thread Starter 
Re: book discussion

Please dont feel you need to wait for me to discuss the book. I didnt bring it w/ me and my mind is not able to focus on the book right now. Im just trying to cope w/ the fact that I am in an unhealthy relationship and regrets and how to get past that so I can forgive myself and live w/ my choices in a healthy manner for everyone's sake (ds, dh and MYSELF). Not an easy task.

I was thinking about the 7 year cycles...at 14 went to live in a grouphome when my mom lost it...at 21 I was engaged to dh at my insistence :...at 28 ds was conceived...all of these were the biggest forks in the road of my life.

BTW, the last few cycles (i have been charting my cycles) I notice I am on top of the world right b4 ovulation (when I am fertile) and then after the point of ovualtion I am moody and critical and tired. UGGG!

post #289 of 330
Hey Karen and Heather, Glad to hear you're both alive and well out there, altho it sounds like you're both struggling in your own ways.

K: I don't know what to say about the teething. I feel like ds teethed HARD for 16 months (5-21 mos) with only a few combined weeks of pain-free nights scattered in between. He seems to have just cut his last canine, and we did magically get 2 or 3 nights with 7 hr stretches, but now we seem to have moved on to other reasons for not sleeping. It is SO hard. And I can see why you are anxious about not having your dh for backup! Would you consider giving him Tylenol every night? I know that's a dirty word round here (MDC, that is) but if you're in survival mode, you just gotta survive. Also, we couldn't have gotten thru the past year without Hyland's teething tablets -- do they work for W.? We were giving ds 3 a bedtime and 3 more every time he woke up, just to get thru that last tooth cutting. I know they don't work for all babies, but they're worth a try if you haven't already. Hang in there! (You seem so CLOSE now . . . only 12 hours aways! WIsh I could come help you!)

H: Glad you're getting some much needed R&R. I hope you can find some clarity before you need to go home to dh.

I thought you and Debra hit the nail on the head with how I'm feeling during my cycles lately . . . As soon as I've ovulated (and successfully NOT become pregnant), I'm getting grumpier and grumpier each month. It's like my body is getting more and more frustrated bc it wants to make more babies and I won't let it! I know that's true, but still just cannot *imagine* adding another baby to this household yet (or 10 mos from now!).

I also have no interest or ability or focus or whatever for EB right now. I think it's okay for us all to just hang on to our forum until we regain interest . . . unless someone out there is reading and wants to forge ahead . . .

Anyone know where Angie is? I KNOW she's not off reading EB somewhere! (wink, wink)

post #290 of 330
Hello everybody!!!

I heard someone calling my name and just wanted to pop in and say howdy. We were in the woods on the coast of Maine this past week, living without a care in the world (with the exception of a maniacal mob of mosquitos that was totally ruthless, destroying my idealistic rural lifestyle dream; I'm such a wimp).

I got to swim in the freezing cold ocean, though, which I normally don't get to do since I go to the beach with Finn who's terrified of the waves. It was bliss to feel so numb.

What to say about all the struggles that my fellow Mindful mamas are facing? I'll just send you some thoughts of relaxation and joy. I hate to say this as I think I'll jinx it, but I think we're in a really nice rhythm right now at the supposedly horrible age of two. I can't tell whether Finn is just really mellow or whether we're so nervous about negative emotions that we are not setting any limits for him. Probably a combination of both. But, hey, if we're thinking about the number 7; I'm 33, married to Chris for 5 years, living together for 11. Maybe it's not my time for crisis to kick me in the butt and get me moving on my dreams (as rainsmom mentioned)

I think that when you're dealing with sleep deprivation, it's a totally different experience (as my closest friend can attest to still at 25 months). There's no clear path, I'm sure, for both Karen and El, and that must suck. I think that El's right that you need to care for yourself somehow, either with childcare help or without it. El, could you afford a mothers' helper without going back to work, but take that time for yourself, to sleep, to paint, to write, to exercise? I go out every Wednesday night for a few hours just to chill and although I probably didn't start til Finn was 15 months, it makes a huge difference in my sense of sanity. I imagine it'll take me a long time to reforge a sense of self, now that I'm a mother, and I feel that having carved out that space for myself for the long term gives me the patience to wait and let it come to me (rather than the pressure that I used to feel when I sneaked an hour away from the baby and needed to make it "count" somehow). Karen, you probably have your hands full for this little while to prevent you from having any space to yourself. I'll be thinking of you guys in CT (only a short toss from ME). I would probably talk it out with your dc, talk about how it's going to be a bit harder over the next few weeks, how you'll be dealing with more stress and less support and how you'll try to find a new routine that's workable to both of you.

Glad you're having a good time, Heather, on your road trip. And hope that you discover a path that you can tread with your family in the future to keep everyone healthy like you said.

I've got to go....my dissertation proposal is languishing like you wouldn't believe; summer is too distracting.

post #291 of 330
wow- just found out my brother (35 yrs old) just left his wife after 14 years of marriage.

now there is a major 7 yr itch!

it is just rocking the world of my family. not that theirs was an ideal relationship, but it certainly wasn't fighting every turn!

per my brother, he was/has been unhappy for years. and after years of an annual depression which was usually pinned to his work/schedule and followed by a yo yo of excercising and eating well, to drinking beer on the weekends and regaining the weight, this year, he just couldn't go back home. feeling homesick, missing his 13 yr old dd, he just couldnt paste a fake smile on his face another day - as he put it to my mom.

needless to say, sil is devastated. but you know, he has been a man so out of touch with his feelings, and the all around funny guy who would give you the shirt off his back. this is so out of his character, that i have to respect it.

he feels his dd who w/b 14 in nov, can handle it now. for sil, they just bought this house last year and she is shocked.

we all wonder how she didn't see it coming? was it really hidden that well? was the communication so bad between them? he has alluded to being unhappy at times, but i guess he has been too afraid to really say how bad it was. besides, it was only him that could have done anything about it anyway.

i know we all have our own s#it, and that you don't need a whole other saga on this thread. but it is so weird, and so related to the whole 7 year discussion. sigh.

well, dh and i are really appreciating each other right now since all of this. if there is ever a gift to be had from the death of a relationship, or even, the death of a loved one, it is to appreciate what you have right now. kwim?

strange days.
post #292 of 330
Hi Mamas!

Well, I have been on a self-imposed break from MDC and it was a good thing... Coincided with a week at the beach (too hot then too raint but relaxing nonetheless).

I have missed you all though!!! As a result of not coming to the boards at all, I wasn't receiving any messages of new posts to this thread, and was thinking you were all very quiet & I was getting worried, lol. So it was reassuring to come back and settle in last night to catch up on your chat.

I don't even know where to begin responding, so let me just send hugs to each one of you, for the different challenges of these long summer days. Sounds like a lot of movement in everyone's life, of different kinds. Thanks, Cheryl, for the insight into the growing season. Makes a lot fo sense to me. How sad about your bro & sil... hope things work out for all.

(((((Heather)))))) I felt so sad reading about how hard things have been. Sending you positive vibes from here as you transition back into life after the break. Hope the time away will be positive for all the dynamics. Usually is for me. Allows for fresh perspective sometimes.

Karen, you are so close to me -relatively- in CT! Sophie & I go to NY/NJ a lot. And I'll be driving from here to Maine in August I think. Hmmm...

Oh, one other thing related to EB -- a group of women at my church have begun meeting to talk about motherhood, and July's meeting will be discussing Everyday Blessings! I'm excited, though it feels mildly, um, disloyal to you all, lol
I'll let you know how it is!

I'll try to dig back into my book today and see what our next chapter is. Know you have a lot going on now, CL!

hugs to all, anne
post #293 of 330
p.s. I also meant to add that I was thinking of cycles of 7 too. I graduated from college and met dh at 21. DD was born seven years later, when I was 28, and so it was a time of big change in our relationship anyhow. Hard to imagine where we'll be at 35. I hope to have more clarity about our life's direction by then. We're both really floating and not to clear right now. Which has it's own gifts, too, but is disconcerting to me.

A while back I studied some wonderful stuff in the Jewish tradition about the celebration of the Jubilee, having to do with the 7th year and 49th year that have to do with forgiving of wrongs or monetary debts to your neighbor, returning of any land that a family lost because of debts, basically setting things right so there could be less inequity.

Okay, back to work...
post #294 of 330
Originally posted by mamabutterfly
Hi Mamas!

. And I'll be driving from here to Maine in August I think. Hmmm...

Hey Anne,

Details, details! Where and when are you coming to my fair state?
We live just south of Portland!

Also, I have to confess that with a group of Maine Mamas I'm starting a play/support group called the Mindful Maine Mamas and people are pretty excited about it. Everyone felt the idea of mindfulness resonated much more than AP or any of the other parenting styles. We'll be drawing on the fabulous energy this group has created here, I hope.

post #295 of 330
Wow, mindfull mama's groups. and RL book discissions. Very very cool!
OK, I am going to visit my grandmother and going to a conference from Thursday till the beginning of August. So I will be quiet for a while. My plane reservation got all messed up by a travel agent so DD is on my lap all the way to Europe with a 5 hour layover in Newark. Joy oh joy. And I am pretty sure that she won't slleep and get over tired and really be a pill. How is that for mindfullness. I am trying to let it go and see what happens because I know if I have expectations I will live up to them and be tired and horrible and impatient. I am bringing a laptop so I can play a DVD. How did I ever sink so low?
And yesterday while I needed to do laundry I had to take DD for a chest Xray to see if her cough was from pneumonia or really just post nasal drip (DD is fine, bad allergies I guess). An idiot hit me in the parking lot and I really really lost it at her. I just started screaming because I suddenly felt completely powerless and vulnerable and scared and I took it out on her. OOPS!
I felt remarkably better afterwards though. Like the energy realeased from screaming like a maniac helped me. I feel bad for this woman but anyway...

I always seem to be ranting a raving when I come here.

ANalisa, how are you doing? Hanging in there I hope. I thik about you every once in a while.

Heather, I hope you have a relaxing time and can work things out with DH. And remember that the person who is away never misses the left behind as much because they are busy with new things and sights and situations.

El, do read the artists way - find your groove back. It sounds like you need it. Maybe you can exchange a couple of hours childcare with a friend? Or get a mothers helper like someone suggested.

I will return in August!

And I am sure I will be more tired and more relaxed and out of the stress groove and in a new one.
post #296 of 330
((((((((Jacq))))))) In case you check in before you go, here's a hug! Hope the trip is great. We've done one overseas trip - it was less bad then I thought. Most airlines have now installed these in-seat TV/personal movie players, with an all kids channel -- (horrible but also a life-saver, lol ) maybe check if your airline does before bringing the laptop - unless you want it anyway?

What a shame, I used to live 10 min from Newark airport!

Hey so I actually opened the book last night! The bedtime chapter doesn't add much to Breathe's recent thread on the subject, but the Gathas & Blessings chapter made me wonder about y'all's family riutals, habits, blessings. Any mealtime or other traditions you are forming? Just curious...

JKZ writes:
"We never said any blessings or grace in my family when I was growing up... But as I get older, I understand more & more the importance of intentionally & mindfully blessing what is good so that it doesn't go unnoticed and uncelebrated."

I know many of us are struggling through the summer. But are there any ways we are doing this blessing of the ordinary in our lives somehow? Sorry if it's too abrupt a tangent, but maybe a good way to focus on the goodness that is there within it all?....

(Sorry this is rushed, I'm late for something but wanted to jot this note off first. )

post #297 of 330
I am still working today so lots of oppurtunity for checking in and wasting time

Blessings, what a good idea. I will come up with a good one and repeat to myself everyday. I read that chapter and it never occured to me.

the flight does have a seat player I just checked. Don't you love the internet? Maybe I won't bring the laptop then...
post #298 of 330

Gathas and Blessings

I grew up in an overly religious family, so I resist anything formal....but...I realize that it is really important to have rhythm in family life, so I'm hoping to reinstant some kind of formal "blessing" at different times of the day...

DS and I went to the toddler program at our local Waldorf school and right beofre snack, the teacher would say this:

Kind hearts are the garden,
Kind thoughts are the roots,
Kind words are the branches,
Kind deeds are the fruits,
Blessing on our snack.

I'm hoping to get this one back into our daily life....I have to say, the book, Seven Times The Sun is great for this kind of stuff!
post #299 of 330
Thread Starter 
Just woke up from a rainy day nap here in Houston. My sis is on vacation with me this week so we've been spending lots of time together too. Thanks for writing outloud what I thought to myself last week after one of my rants about dh..."the one that's away never misses the other b/c the one on vacation is having fun." In the past absense always made our hearts grow fonder and I pray that will still be the case this time. Also, another footnote about my 28th year~two cross country moves and I found out dh was a sex addict (in addition to what I posted earlier about conceiving ds when I was 28.) Oh and ds was born on my 29th b-day~almost when I was 28! The 1st move was 2 days after my 28 b-day! The second back to he midwest was a month before my 29th! Very odd! I'm trying not to get paranoid about turning 35 in less than 4 years. Hugs to Cheryl and the turmoil with your brother. Yes, strange days.

Thanks for starting us back in the book. I agree that discussing our blessings is an awesome idea, Anne! You ROCK! And, Gen...that book "Seven Times the Sun" was great for helping with rhythems. When dh and I had one of our retreats (which I wonder if we should try again VERY SOON!) last spring we made a point to name two things we were each thankful for about one anothefor duirng our meals. We also included what we were thankful for about ds. We also sang the Johnny Appleseed grace. It was fun but I got tired of being the one to feel like I was imposing this. Dh seemed annoyed by it at times and doesnt like to sing and so we dropped it.

Have a great trip, Jacq. Hugs to all and I better get off here before ds and my sis wake up and I have to scramble.

P.S. I am thankful for you mindful mamas! Would you believe I brought all my yoga videos with me? When I am at my sister's I have been using them and it has helped me stay true to myself and ds. I'm not into seated meditation but the yoga helps me to stay be centered and mindful with ds. Wish it always worked where dh was concerned. You're all a blessing to me.
post #300 of 330
talking about blessings etc. i like the idea, but could never pull that off w/dh who is the recovering catholic of the family. (his words, not mine).

anything done religously (whether it is religous or not) scares the daylights out of him. but he very much understands rhythm and order, and doesn't think me nuts to have toys put away and little sayings and sing songs for different thinks we do.

i loved waldorf b/c they could have a kindergarten of 40 kids, and with a sing song, the whole room was buzzing around putting toys away! it was clean up as a game, and there was no "do this and do that" barking out. just some little song voice that cued the children who each were honored with their little job of putting babies back home etc.

hard to believe until you see. dd went there through 4th grade and we have no regrets. it was just the perfect fit.

hugs all around. i like hearing about everyone's 7 yr cycle observations. it has been interesting.

hoping to reach all the way over to my window sill and pick up the eb some day soon. i laugh when i finally do and the chapter i have been trying to get enough time to read is about 45 seconds long!
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