Social Circles...Spinoff from 2 other threads

[Ivan's Mom]

So we had our "would we be friends?" thread locked up, but I had a thought or two about the friend issue.

In two threads I had mentioned my desire to not associate with people who chose to have their children circ'd or did other parenting practices that upset me like CIO, spanking, belittling, etc. Lots of responses to the "friends" thread were that if people excluded the circumcising parents from their lives, they would "have no friends." I thought of this more and more and I know how difficult it is to make and keep friends. I am not a social butterfly and I have a hard time warming up and staying warm. I held on to these people and guess what, they were making me miserable. They had to go.

I decided to make new friends. I am having my new friends over to my house and they are bringing their babies and we are going to have a grand time, I am sure.

I found my new friends at La Leche League. I know, I know, not everyone at LLL is an intactivist. We have to choose carefully who we feel we would like to spend time with. It takes months of meetings.

I thought we could share ideas on where to make our new friends that hold similar values as our own. I will start:

La Leche League meetings http://www.lalecheleague.org/resources.html?m=0

NOCIRC centers page http://www.nocirc.org/centers/centers.php

baby wearing groups

holistic moms groups http://home.homewebs.com/holisticmom...x.cfm/products

I definitely DO NOT want this to be a debate thread on if we think people should be friends with person xyz. I want to us to share ideas on where we find like-minded people to share time with.

[ColoradoMama]

I found most all of my pro-intact (not necessarily activists, but against circumcision) at LLL.

[Ivan's Mom]

Are myself and ColoadoMama the only one's who look for like-minded friends?

[Past_VNE]

I haven't strived for close friends, since I know I won't be living here much longer, but am much closer to the anti-circ mamas in our local LLL than the circumcising mothers, just naturally.

[Telle Bear]

When I moved to SC...I found a group of like minded moms (actually from someone on here) and REALLY LOVED it. I made a couple of close friend with kids within months of my sons!! One had a girl, and the other a boy ( which I believe was cut). We hit it off soooo well and everything else we agreed on so it was a non issue.

Now that I am in NH I started a playgroup with other woman (also from here) and I'm pretty sure they're boys are intact.

But yes, as a general rule I find it hard to find friends. It's hard because it is hard to find out where they stand....where as with breastfeeding, baby wearing etc...It's pretty easy to see.

Wanna be my friend???

[KMK_Mama]

I'll definately look into those things. Thanks.

I only know two people on an acquintance level that have intact sons and if they knew I was so anti-circ it would probably freak them out. : One of them was going to have her son circ'd...even though her DH is intact, he wanted the baby circ'd, but when the Doc informed him that he would need to accompany his son to the circ room, he declined and his son stayed intact.

[TigerTail]

I'm lazy, I just keep plugging the message at anyone I can otherwise stand to be around.

It's fun to go on outings and meet folks through the tribes threads here, though.

[hunnybumm]

I think this thread is a great idea. I really had to laugh though because my LLL leader and the NOCIRC center person are the same person, she is one of my "friends" but has 8 kids and works (kinder Music). I guess I am just in a bad area for AP living.

However, I know there are groups an hour or so away, but I just don't see myself driving that far to have play grouups, YK? It's so frustrating.

[phatchristy]

I think an excellent way for me to find out about some of the people I associate with would be to wear a pro-intact tee shirt. When I have gotten together in groups and the conversation has come up, I've always represented that I am very shocked about people amputating the foreskin, and I go on to be graphic enough about it's functions. So many women "get it" when you bring up the fact that circumcision causes so many of us to have to dry out during intercourse and have to rely on lube to keep it relatively comfortable.

I've met some awesome people through LLL who have intact sons. I have become close enoug to one that she has shared that her DH suffers from a botched circ which she said was her main motivation in keeping her son intact....sadly, her DH was circ'd THREE TIMES : . Two of which he remembers. Needless to say she had no problems convincing her DH to keep their sons intact. I am *hoping* that she'll tell her DH about restoration, so that at least he can grown enough skin so that his skin doesn't split and that things aren't painful for him.

[Ivan's Mom]

Originally Posted by Telle Bear

Wanna be my friend???

Of course! Let us know if you ever come up to visit NJ/NYC and we can get together.

Also, love the idea of starting playgroups with like-minded people and wearing the intactivist t-shirts at mama functions. I would do that, but my mama chest is sooooooooooo big that I look like terrible in t-shirts. I have an intactivist canvas bag which is one I use for groceries, but no comments yet. I got one comment from a nice woman at the car wash about my bumper stickers, but her son was 19 (and intact) so no playgroups there. Maybe I will get a button to wear.

[kldliam]

Local 'AP' (Attachment Parenting) groups are more likely to have people whom I consider to be of a higher caliber. Also try a local 'Natural Parenting' forum or group.

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/groups.shtml

[Ivan's Mom]

Originally Posted by hunnybumm

However, I know there are groups an hour or so away, but I just don't see myself driving that far to have play grouups, YK? It's so frustrating.

I see that you are in Goldsboro, NC. The first intact child that I ever met was in 1992 at ECU Laboratory Preschool in Greenville, NC. His mom was a neat woman. I am just saying this to point out that you are probably not alone, there in central NC. My next encounter with parents that left their children intact was at the MCV Hospital in Richmond, VA. I worked at the daycare for the employees and lots and lots of those kids were intact. This was around 1992-1996. I am sure there are lots more these days. When seeing these kids and seeing their parents I always thought to myself that these must be such sensitive parents and so progressive. This was years and years before I would have a baby of my own. They set a great example for me and gave normalcy to intact children.

I am now gonna head over to the "Tribe" forum and see who I can find

[Telle Bear]

Originally Posted by Ivan's Mom

Of course! Let us know if you ever come up to visit NJ/NYC and we can get together.

Also, love the idea of starting playgroups with like-minded people and wearing the intactivist t-shirts at mama functions. I would do that, but my mama chest is sooooooooooo big that I look like terrible in t-shirts. I have an intactivist canvas bag which is one I use for groceries, but no comments yet. I got one comment from a nice woman at the car wash about my bumper stickers, but her son was 19 (and intact) so no playgroups there. Maybe I will get a button to wear.

Hey I'm a NY're myself. Born and raised in Queens . I still have family in Long Island.....

ps- where did you get the canvas bag??

[trmpetplaya]

I didn't see this thread before now... but I have found many like-minded mamas at LLL meetings. I also found one intactivist friend through the MDC personal ads (the one and only time I looked! We lived almost right next door to each other at the time too : ). All of the people who I went to high school with (a year or two older than I am) have intact little boys, or girls, or no kids at all...

I guess I'm a little spoiled living in the pacific NW bc almost everyone here is at least anti-circumcision if not actively pro-intact. But we're almost certainly moving to SC or GA later this year... I expect to be doing a lot more educating IRL once we move. The rates are MUCH higher down there, but at least we'll be able to afford to live there.

love and peace.

[travisandjill]

I Get depressed living in Texas...sooo many people circ here! I hate it! I have joined some AP groups, but I always am up for meeting more people with similar views


Anyone live in Central TX????

Jill

[Ivan's Mom]

Originally Posted by Telle Bear

Hey I'm a NY're myself. Born and raised in Queens . I still have family in Long Island.....

ps- where did you get the canvas bag??

Here is the bag:
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/circumc...t_/pg_/c_/fpt_

I have lots of canvas bags with messages for grocery shopping. Lots of different messages.

I was raised in Richmond, VA and also spent time in NC for college and several years after in Wilmington, NC. We have been in NJ since June 2001. Lots of iintact-friendly mamas, just have to search for them. The immediate neighbors and social circle.....NO