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Gift for newly adopted child - is this ok  

post #1 of 13
2/1/07 at 11:26am
Thread Starter 
Just wanted some feedback from moms who have adopted children. I want to get a welcoming gift for my friend who just adopted her son. I usually get everyone a blanket with the babies name and their birth date on it, and the mom I am sending the gift to knows this.

I would like to do the same for her new son. My question is this, should I put his birthdate, his adoption date or both? Or get another gift entirely? He is a year old. I also gave a blanket to his older brother who is not adopted so differences would be noted.
post #2 of 13
2/1/07 at 12:00pm
If she knows his birthdate, why not?

If she doesn't know his birthdate (some international adoptions are like this) I would suggest calling her up and asking her what date they are using as his birthday. Given that he's one year old, I'm thinking they probably do know, however.
post #3 of 13
2/1/07 at 12:29pm
His birthdate. I would consider it celebrating his life - not just his life after adoption. KWIM?
post #4 of 13
2/1/07 at 12:29pm
Thread Starter 
Yes, they know his birthday. I see the birthdate as the date you are welcomed into your family, so including the adoption date seemed important because that marks that date for them.

But then I wonder if that would not make sense to him, you know?
post #5 of 13
2/1/07 at 12:30pm
Thread Starter 
that is a good way to think of it, thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahbunny View Post
His birthdate. I would consider it celebrating his life - not just his life after adoption. KWIM?
post #6 of 13
2/9/07 at 1:16am
His birthdate I think. The mom could add the adoption date if she wants maybe you could include the cost in the gift?
My coming home date was November 11th- my bday was October 30th.
post #7 of 13
2/9/07 at 11:08am


i have a freind -- with both birth and adopted kids -- who has always used the phrase

"join our famly" -- adn they celbrate "joined our family day" not birthday.

Aimee
post #8 of 13
2/9/07 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post



"join our famly" -- adn they celbrate "joined our family day" not birthday.

Aimee
As someone who was adopted that would really hurt me to celebrate the day I joined the family and not my birthday.


The child did exist before they joined the family!!! How scary to be made feel like you didn't exist until your family found you.


Personally, I would just use the child's birthdate. That is the day they joined the world!
post #9 of 13
2/9/07 at 11:28am
her kids all seems to like it -- more about being a family than anything

and they do not know birth dates on the 2 adopted boys -- older boys from India who were found abandon as toddlers.......

A
post #10 of 13
2/9/07 at 11:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
and they do not know birth dates on the 2 adopted boys -- older boys from India who were found abandon as toddlers.......

A

That is the saddest thing to not even know your own birthdate. I hope that fact doesn't ever add up to feeling insecure about themselves. Those poor little boys.
post #11 of 13
2/9/07 at 11:48am
Why don't you ask the mom what she wants. It's not like a blanket will be a surprise.
post #12 of 13
2/9/07 at 12:21pm
they boys are 8 adn like 11 now -- est of course, but that is what they use.

They seem fine.

They are from India and currently having issues with a few kids at school saysing stuff -- due to their color. But they seem very well ajusted and secure. My Friends try to be on top of it.

the older boy is confused as to where he lived before the orphange that his mom adn dad picked him up at -- but it doesn't seem to really bother him.

I was just pointing out -- that while birthdays are importnat -- diferent family celbrate differntly things, differently.

I would never want to try to implay a child didn't MATTER before joing their forever family........

I would jsut ask the mom too

A
post #13 of 13
2/9/07 at 4:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by averysmom View Post
That is the saddest thing to not even know your own birthdate. I hope that fact doesn't ever add up to feeling insecure about themselves. Those poor little boys.
Many people in India do not know their birthdate, and they would not celebrate a birthday. It would be more like "The stars were in this position when you were born and they are in the same position again" (which would not be on a specific calender day). And people who below middle class would not have had a chart done, so they wouldn't really have anything notable about the day they are born. It is just a different culture. One of my friends just picked a random day from around the same time he was born for his US Immigration thing, and he was fairly upper class in India.
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