Insanely long post - so sorry!
(I apologize for advance for the length of this post. I was quiet for too long and then it all came flying out.
I went through a no-posting phase, sorry about that. I asked other members to check in and then I got quiet. I've been checking in every day though. Nothing too new on my end. I O'd and now I wait.
: I gave my HPT's to hubby and asked him to hide them. Our house is quite small and I could find them if I wanted to, but they are technically hidden so hopefully that will help with the not testing.
Dee, I was glad to read that your proposal defending went well. All you PhD'ers are pretty amazing. I can't even imagine going back to school. Traditional schooling has never been my cup of tea. It took me 7 years to get my BS because I just couldn't see using my degree and thought it was much more interesting to play field hockey. And I haven't used my specific degree, but just having a BS did open many doors, so it wasn't a total bust.
I like taking individual classes that I'm interested in...but a PhD? You guys are hard core. There should be a smilie that tips his hat.
Dee, now that the whole "dog ate my preseed" thing is over with everything working out fine, I can say wow, that is hysterical. The first thing I thought when I got my preseed was "if the dog gets this I'll be mad" and I spent quite a bit of time putting them some place I thought she wouldn't notice. As soon as you posted what happened to you, I checked and mine is completely accessable to the dog, I don't know why I thought I found a good place.
Thankfully my dog isn't interested in them. But I moved them again just to be safe. What a great story it will be if this ends up being your cycle. The dog ate all but one and that was the "one", that would be awesome. Oh, and where in the world do you live that you needed to turn on the a/c?!
: Me and my layers are very jealous.
Originally Posted by raingyrl
on another note, dh seems to think that my unfulfilling job is possibly what is keeping us from having a child. (he leans more towards the spiritual rather than the medical side on this process.) anyone in the same boat with a job/career that just isn't doing it for them anymore, but you are hanging on for benefits, decent pay, etc?
I think this statement from Rain may be what really sent me back into my shell. I think about this quite often. I don't need my job for benefits...actually I'm self employed and don't get them through my work anyway, just through hubby...but I'm keeping my job for a reason that sometimes drives my mind to a nutty place, I think even more so than if I was keeping it for a good reason like benefits. Remember when I said I end up in a mind loop sometimes..."well if I get pregnant soon then I can't do that, but what if I don't get pregnant soon then I wasted the chance to do it, but if I get pregnant soon then I've wasted time, money, chance to make money another way, etc, etc, etc." Well my job contributes to the mind loop even more because I keep my job with the hope and the prayer that when I have our baby and become a stay-at-home mom that I'll be able to work from home. Right now I work from home the majority of the time, but when I say that once I have the baby I want to work exclusively from home they seem very freaked out and it is by no means a sure thing. My second job is as a Reiki practioner and I love it. I would love to make that my full time job, but it would require some serious attention to get it going as fully my own business. Right now I have one regular client and that is working out well and is all that I really have time for with my first job. Some days I think I should take the plunge but then I always come back to, "but if I get pregnant then it could become too much, I don't know if I'll have a pregnancy full of energy or a pregnancy where I'm sick, tired, etc and then I have no job, and when the baby comes I can't exactly strap them on and do a calming quiet session, maybe I could work just in the evening when hubby is home, but a session could still be interrupted if I need to nurse, but, but, but..." It's amazing that I can even think with this insane constant mindloop going on.
I laugh because it is absurd in one sense but a big part of me also feels
And the kicker is that I always come back to..."what if I can't get pregnant when so much of my energy goes into a job that I don't particularly like" which of course immediately loops to "it's not such a bad job, it just isn't something I'm passionate about, but you don't have to be passionate about your job, sometimes a job is just a job and the rest of your life is what you are passionate about, so many mom's would love to be able to work from home like me, but I don't know for sure if they will agree to my exclusively working from home when the time comes, just keep going and save as much as you can..." I won't even bore you guys with the million other "buts" and "ands" that fly through my mind. I feel like I'm at such a crossroads, I'm going
: And all of that to say that I agree with your dh Rain, unfulfillment in our life can certainly cause problems with conceiving, but I don't think that is the case for every person. If it is coming up for you guys, that is probably for a reason...doesn't mean you should quit on the spot, but you should probably explore your feelings around the situation. For me I'm just trying to come to an agreement with myself so I can get off the crazy loop. I was glad to read your job responsibilities have shifted and that you seem happier about it now.
Originally Posted by cking
We are in a similar situation, we've been trying since July, and I seem to have healthy cycles, yet...nothing. Sometimes I'm ok with it, others I'm not.
We're in this boat too. I believe there are so many factors that I'm not aware of and I find comfort in knowing that I can't always see what the big picture is. I just feel like I've been waiting for so long...why do I have to continue waiting? I was married for three years before and it was such a rough marriage so I was waiting then. I wasn't going to bring a child into that situation. Then when it ended I resigned myself to the fact that I may never have children as I certainly wasn't ever going to do that horrible marriage thing again. Then I met my hubby who I had no choice but to fall madly in love with and then I was back to waiting again. Waiting for him to find a job, waiting for us to find our own place, waiting for the "right" time. The waiting with hubby was in reality not long at all, but at this point I feel like I've been waiting for half my life. So totally done with the waiting thing <said in a valley-girl accent>
Originally Posted by raingyrl
today is a brighter day down here in central texas. dh surprised me this morning with a tiny little ring that says "may your wildest dreams come true". he was planning to give it to me on valentine's day but couldn't wait. he is my wildest dream!
: love it!
Sarah, I hope your appointment on Friday went well and gave you some answers.
Nico, I'm sorry
Foxey13, thanks for the update, hang in there with your busy season.
FiberLover and Rain - welcome!
Shibababy Congrats on your pregnancy!
Nony, glad to hear you are ready to jump on the TTC express
Hopefully you'll get your "yes yes yes" from dh soon.
Kat, so glad to hear that you probably didn't O early afterall. Can't wait to hear if the specialist decides if you're human
In all seriousness, I hope you get some solid answers. You seem to know your body well so between you and specialist hopefully you'll get answers.
Xenon, hang in there. Unless resignation really does equal optimism and in that case screw it
I actually had a similar thought process this cycle, a sense of resignation but not necessarily in a negative sense.
Cattibrie, congrats on SIL moving back out.
TWW'ers - currently it is me, Kemi, Xenon, Dee, Cattibrie, Annie and FiberLover who I think was planning on POAS yesterday. Did I miss anyone?
All, just wanted to commiserate with the weight loss issue. For the most part I've been working out on a fairly regular schedule because I had read in multiple places that for the most part you can maintain any exercise that you have established before you get pregnant and it just isn't a good idea to add anything extra. Although all of December was a complete bust for me except for walking which I do with the dog. I work out at Curves and love it. I love that it's all women and I love that I just walk in, change my shoes and get started. I don't have to switch weights or adjust any machines which I always hated at a regular gym. So I do that and walk and if I'm lucky I'll do some yoga or pilates or bellydancing at home. I love yoga but have a hard time doing it at home, I lose my motivation if I'm not in a class. I'd love to lose some weight, and if it happens while I'm eating healthy and exercising then great, but if it requires something more than that (like a cleanse or a fast) it isn't going to happen while I'm getting pregnant - that was the balance and agreement I came to with myself and I felt much relief when I finally got there. This week I'm going to try to focus on my portion control. I'm eating good foods but just too much of them I think.
To make up for my lack of posting, I'm in on the 80's movie quote train.
"But right now, they've gotta do what's right for them, cause it's their time. It's their time up there. Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the moment we ride up Troy's bucket."
"Fire, fire, burning higher, making music like a choir <crazy goblin laughter>"