~Turny thoughts & Ferny thoughts: May04 Mamas in Feb07~ - Page 8

[KKmama]

I know something which would spur a lot of posts... baby pix. Or birth stories.

[emmalola]

Hi. I'm back from the conference and still nauseous. It's about all I can think about, other than fatigue.

TC, I'm holding you in my thoughts, surrounded by gallons of rich, gushy milk. mmmmm.

Els, what a thought. enjoy the hectic. live the hectic. be in the hectic.

so tired, exhausted from sitting on my butt and learning, learning, learning. time to rest.

[fiddlefern]

how is it that such a short birth took me four pages to tell the story? posted on the yg.

[Miss Juice]

fiddle, all I can say right now is
I am so happy for you.

[Mama Faery]

Fiddle, I cannot WAIT to log onto my email and read your story!

I wish I had more time to write (we had a really busy but FUN weekend--did I tell you my MIL came for the night Saturday and DH and I went to a joint bachelor/bachelorette party for some friends we hadn't seen in a WHILE, we slept (SLEPT!!) in a hotel and then spent the morning/afternoon Sunday in Boston, which was awesome--it had been a LONG time since we'd been in Harvard Square, one of our old haunts, strangely enough--Rowan had an awesome time with Gramma and while he didn't nap, he was still really sweet when we got home)

Anyway! Rowan is asking (okay, demanding ) that I read him a book on a cushion in the corner, so I have to go. Miss Juice beat me though!
That's what I get when I make myself breakfast instead of immediately logging on in the morning!

Have a great day, mamas!

[KKmama]

Looooooooooved the birth story. :

I think it's time for me to spring for a premium membership. I get the actual magazine from the library, but I think MDC, with all its quirks and flaws, is more important to me and worth supporting. What would I do without my May Mama fix? I've been leaning pretty heavily on some of the NFL home mgmt resources lately, too.

[Jacqueline]

Hey all, we've returned from our trip to Austin and are glad to be back. It was warm enough there that my bones don't feel so cold. It's also much warmer back here, so that helps. I'm not nearly caught up with my May mamas, but wanted to take a minute and report in.

Just read Fiddle's story on YG. What a great way to start my morning!

EL-so sorry you felt sick on your trip. I hope it gets better

I felt fine while we were gone and then I threw up yesterday morning while getting ready for church. So, we stayed home and I let G watch Winnie the Pooh while I rested on the couch. : Weird things like a sneeze set off the throwing-up mechanism for me...bizarre. I'm still hoping we're on the uphill slide, however.

Today is laundry and groceries so that we have actual food in our house! I'll try to catch up with y'all soon.

[mcsarahb]

Fiddle, thanks so much for sharing the story. It was inspiring. I'm so glad you were able to do your own thing for most of it.

Busy, busy, busy here. Have a good friend staying here for a week, midterms happening, etc. Gasp.

S.

[Mama Faery]

Oooh, mamas, I have to just vent for a minute.
So this morning, Rowan and I went to the raisin mama's house for a playdate, and her DD pretty much starts making him cry the moment we get there. See, Rowan is, well, a pretty sensitive boy, and her DD knows this, and seriously, she LOVES making him react. She'll snatch things from him just to see him freak out, and since she too is 2 1/2, this happens a lot. I totally understand, but it's pretty upsetting. No amount of time-outs (my friend's discipline of choice, along with *making* her DD apologize whether she means it or not) work. She just goes right back to making Rowan cry. And Rowan, well, he smacked her in the face, pushed, freaked out. I had to take him downstairs with me to cool off, and finally, the playdate ended early with me taking my inconsolable child home for an early nap.

And get this; I email her to tell her I was sorry the playdate went the way it did, and she tells me I have to start taking Rowan on more regular playdates or playgroups with multiple kids!! Like THAT will make my child less sensitive! Um, no, your child NOT being evil to mine will help with that, thanks.

I am not going to overschedule my child with playdate after playdate just because he's stopped getting along with her aggressive little girl. He doesn't act like this with any other children he's come across, I think it's just not working out with ANY of us anymore.

I am having a hard time extricating myself from this situation, but today's atrocious playdate definitely makes it easier for us to say "no more playdates". She mentioned that we can just do "mama playdates" from now on, but I don't even want that. Oh, it's so hard...sorry I'm being such a wuss about this. :

I am just so angry right now. I could FEEL her judging me about how I talked to Rowan about his behavior today (it was why I took him downstairs to talk to him near the end of it). She actually told me what I was doing wasn't very effective! Like I didn't know that!! Just because I don't make him speak in full sentences with correct grammar and sit him in time out and make him bend to my will every second of the day. ARG.

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place, I can't collect my thoughts about this right now, and I want to email her and tell her to shove it. But I can't. I am way too angry to speak calmly to her right now.

Thank you for listening.

[orangecanoe]

Renae--huge hugs. Sounds like a disaster of a morning alright. C is way sensitive too and it sounds like being around aggressive kids is just not where it's at right now. You've tried so hard with this one....

We got cutey cute pics done at Sears today with a pretty funny outtake...will ahve to post that on the YG later along with some from E's party yesterday. We gave her a sink bath after the cake smashing and she was streaking around in her birthday suit afterwards.

Jacquie--I've missed you!! (and I need a favor!) or really from any homeopathy minded mamas. Our chiro mentioned trying colloidial (sp?) silver for C's swollen glands as it's been 6+ weeks now and wasn't sure if you had any info on dosage for toddlers.

I'm otherwise so : so I'll have to work the multiquote thing at a later date...

[mamameg]

Whoa Renae. I'm sorry you are so frustrated. Sounds like it's time to end those playdates. As an outsider, it seems to me that you are both judging the other pretty harshly for doing things differently. (No, I'm no agreeing with everything she does, but she's an okay enough mom that you've been hanging around her this long, I assume she's not a monster.) Your son is not a wuss, and her daughter is not evil. They are both just 2. Often, no matter the approach, it seems that nothing "works" with 2 year olds. There are no instant results. They learn with repetition. They learn over time.

I'm having my own bad day here. Sick, tired, annoyed with a friend who tries to over-manage everyone, including me, but will not fess up to it when I call her out on it. :

[jstar]

loved W's birth story beth

hugs, renae. i agree -- the kids are just 2. their social interactions aren't overly sophisticated. and neither of your parenting methods are wrong and neither of them are going to work instantaneously. i think consistency is the most important discipline thing..whatever method it is that you choose. what *really* bugs me though is that that mom feels the need to tell you that she thinks your method doesn't work. that just seems rude and bossy/overbearing to me. i somehow doubt you've told her you don't think constant time-outs are working eh? you're probably much too POLITE to do that. i say send her an email and cut it off now while you have a 'reason.' i don't think she's good for your self-esteem and i think you have very different parenting methods. you base yours on what feels right for YOU and she doesnt seem to respect that. offering suggestions when someone asks is one thing. but out and out telling someone they're doing something wrong is not ok. 'it is not ok' as isaac says. (famous line from school)

our weekend was....crafty. i spent hours and hours in the basement sewing. which was kinda fun for me but i think dh felt ignored. and the housecleaning definitely got ignored. i just cleaned the house from 10am til 1:30 today : put away every speck of clean laundry in the house...go me! did dishes. recycling roundup. clutter clutter clutter. i took isaac to school first so i feel like my priviledged time of having monday school hours to clean unencumbered is precious (and soon to come to an end). when i sort laundry out on the bed his favorite trick is to push all the piles down on the floor and throw clothes. arrrrggggh. drives me batty. he was pretty self-entertaining in the basement while i sewed though. that was nice.

so we were out of food and out of dipes all weekend (and i need to go shopping today). so we lived on pizza and eating out and i used cloth all weekend. i have been too lazy for a long time--plus have the problem that the only pants i can fit over cloth dipes now are his sweats. none of his jeans have room and they're size 4. size 5 just seems crazy and i don't own any yet. SO i told him no pooping in cloth diapers he didn't actually poop at all this weekend but did tell me a couple of times that he had to go potty (and that he needed to poop on potty not in 'this' diaper). so i'm on a push now to CD at home again to get this PL thing moving. he leaked pee out last night though and i don't have a waterproof mattress pad for his new bed yet.

they're having a pajama party at school on v-day. isaac wants to wear his PJs to school ALLLLLLLL the time. and i can't wait to see his reaction when he gets to

ok gotta work.

[Mama Faery]

Megan, thank you. You're totally right. Me calling her DD evil is definitely out of line. I just felt so defensive when she told me all this stuff...like I said, I totally get the "wow, when I do this, he freaks out! That's interesting!" toddler thing. It's just how she handles things is so different form the way I do, and she is pretty harsh with us AP (even slightly AP!) mamas. She just kept telling me to check out BabyCenter for good ideas (um, no thanks!) and well...I really have tried. I think I am going to go out for a drink with her this week sometime and I will tell her maybe we should suspend playdates for a while.

(going out to the grocery store with my super-sweet toddler really helped put things in perspective! He is just not like that with many other kids, it's just their chemistry, and it's been that way for a while)

I am really really sad that it's come to this. Rowan doesn't have many friends as it is, and I think that is part of why I got so defensive when she said he needs to get out more. Her DD has SO many friends and SO many playdates, and I have always felt doubtful about whether I'm "socializing" Rowan enough. *sigh*

I feel like crap. : And tonight DH is only going to be home for dinner and then he has to go to a meeting at our church, so I am on my own for bedtime.

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. I'll figure it out...

[TurboClaudia]

renae: grr on her. i think you know my thoughts from your previous dumb encounters with "no raisins for you!" friend.

megan to you, too.

fiddle's birth story is inspiring me to write down Stefan's, so you may all get a bonus birth story in a week or so in addition to the two recent ones.

update from us:
borrowed one of our midwife's baby weighing scales for some time so we can track stefan's weight a bit. also tried to nurse him with the Lact-AId last night before bed, but he would have nothing to do with the tube in his mouth. he slep pretty poorly during the night last night, and nursed pretty poorly, too. this morning, he nursed pretty poorly, too. i really don't know what's going on. could be the teeth, as he has his hand(s) in his mouth ALL. THE. TIME. could also be he's trying desperately to crawl. dunno. continuing to keep an eye on it.

heath: don't know much about colloidal silver. it's not a homeopathic, though, but more of a supplement/detox kind of thing. i will do a quick check of some sites that might have some more info.

~claudia

[TurboClaudia]

hey! i got ddddc'ed!



~claudia

[elsanne]

Hi everybuggy! TC, nifty ddddc!

Renae, time to finish playdates that make no one feel good. Analyze and take in what is yours, because there is always something that is yours--even when the other person is just evil and WRONG!!!!

Okay gals. I just spent the weekend at Tierra Adentro (name of retreat center house). Anyone on the fence, you simply cannot let this go. I had SUCH a good time! And the house is just simply pure artistry. The website will be up shortly, and I'll post a link to it. I wrote all the text, so you must read every word.

The POOL. Oh, mamas. I am sunburnt, but not too bad, and had a great time diving and swimming.

Fern, sooooo psyched to hear about your birth! I mean, W's birth! So happy for youguys.

[KKmama]

Ooh, TC more s. I'm sorry you're going through this concern. (And I have to tell you, every time I wonder how L's weight is doing, I think of you guys and send vibes.)

Renae, your stuff with Raisin Mom really reminds me of my interactions with Preschool Dad (dunno if you remember that). One of the things that bothers me (and reminds me) in this situation is that it seems like she has all the power. Some she has taken, some you have given. Even though it's hard to walk away, I definitely would. You can just tell her nicely that all 4 of you would benefit from a break. It's *true*, and it's not a mean thing to say. I would do it over the phone or via email, *not* over a drink (when one tends to say more than one might want to say...) (And I cut you slack on calling her DD evil... you were venting.) And re the sensitive boy thing... one of the things Preschool Dad used to bash me about was about T's sensitivity (and he would never rein in his kid when he got out of hand). But you know what? T is very sweet and empathetic--he's a kind little boy (kinder than PD's--meow, meow). But if you so much as look at him cross-eyed, you might upset him. That's the wiring--you don't get one without the other.

Meg, I need you to call a friend of mine who is over-managing on it. I am so : at it. s to you. I hope tomorrow is better.

Howdy Jacquie! No more barfing! (You either, EL!)

This weekend, I worked on decluttering. (And there are now 3 big bags and 1 box of baby clothes for Jacquie.) It was kind of horrifying, really, but also liberating. I called ARC to come and get some stuff (~10 boxes/bags). I listed a box of maternity clothes on craigslist. I took 2 carloads of stuff to the center for hard to recycle materials (it rocks). Sometimes, in my head, I hear one of my parents (esp. my dad, the world's worst packrat and also the world's most emotionally constipated man) tell me that I can't get rid of something. But I'm getting over it. I want to do a good sweep through the toys and take another load of plasticky battery stuff to the children's wing of the hospital and then ARC anything else we don't want. Ack, it can be hard to get rid of stuff their grandparents gave them, with the best of intentions. But I feel like we've given gentle suggestions in the past. We *don't* need another stuffed animal. We don't need loud battery-sucking things which don't *do* anything and which are impossible to play with in creative ways. I guess I vented, too.

And... we installed a new toilet. I'm working on a blog piece about *that*. Let's just say that we installed it a day too late. : :

[Miss Juice]

I've missed a lot, but it's been that kind of day, mondays are so hard because I don't get home from work until 7:00 and then...

wayward waterfall
pouring down through the ceiling
of flooded basement

when it rains it pours, sometimes quite literally. UGH.

[nuggetsmom]

OK, I am here. I am behind and feel overwhelmed with things I have to say. We had to get a new computer and we ended up getting a Mac. Since I am a PC girl I am getting used to the controls here, and I feel frustrated most of the time.
I read the Ferns birth story though and it was beautiful. So powerful and inspiring.
The kids and I have all been sick and now I need to find this weeks gardening activity for the Kindergarten. We watched hours and hours of TV today and when we weren't doing that I was yelling at the kids who were whining and givig me a headache.
So, I will try to catch up soon (though I never did catch the deal with the tupperware, but oh well)
I am just half absent...

[Mama Faery]

Aww, Jacqueline, so sorry you all were sick! Glad to see you around though. I too am a PC girl but everyone keeps telling us to get a Mac...not like we can afford ANY new computer right now...but I think a Mac would cause no end of frustration to me, too. :

I am feeling a bit more centered this morning about the whole drama yesterday. The honest truth is, Rowan does not act like this with ANY other kids he's around (and darn it, he DOES hang out with other kids his age! Just...not on a regular basis ...I really do think these two just happen to bring out the worst in each other...and they have for a while. *sigh*

And as for the Mama and myself, I am really sorry to say that we really don't have all that much in common, the more I think of it. Our kids, the fact that we once went to LLL meetings together (she has long since quit), and some of our um...recreational activities are the same.

But our differences seem to outweigh the similarities...maybe that's just because I'm still upset about the way things are going, or maybe it's the truth. In any case, y'all are right: we need a break. As it is, I don't think we're going to be *able* to see each other for a couple of weeks due to other commitments, so we'll just see what happens after that. I need some centering.
Anyway, this really does hurt, but well, I guess it's life. :

Here's where I wish fervently that all our May Mamas lived close by! *sigh* I wanna move to Portland. Or Mexico.
Speaking of, Elsanne, that retreat sounds *amazing*, and though DH and I haven't talked about it much lately, we're expecting quite a large tax return, so maybe after we've paid some crucial bills we will then take stock of what we have left and put it towards a trip later this year! I REALLY REALLY want to go...

Well, Rowan is running amuck (amok?) in the living room with Sesame Street playing in the background, so I am gonna go fold laundry and finish my coffee in there.

Much to you all.