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I should know this by now . . .

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

Mamas, can you talk to me a bit about establishing a night time routine for my August babe? I've read a bit about what you all do, but I just don't know how to start our own routine.

Here's what we do now: DD stays awake until she seems sleepy and then we put her in jammies and I nurse her and if she doesn't fall asleep nursing we rock her to sleep and then hold her in our arms until I go to bed. The problem? Sometimes she doesn't go to sleep until almost midnight or if we get her to fall asleep earlier we have to hold her in our arms to keep her asleep. She's almost six months old now, DP and I have had ZERO alone time and this "routine" of ours does not work, not for anyone. We screwed up somewhere along the way.

I want to figure out a set bedtime and a simple routine to follow. I also want to be able to lay her down somewhere (in my bed?) between the time she falls asleep and I go to bed (she co-sleeps with me). I also want to do it soon, as DP is going to be travelling soon and I have got to have time without a babe in my arms at some point so I can decompress.

Okay, there's my novel. Do you have any advice?
post #2 of 15
I don't have any good advice for you, but I'm dying to hear what other moms are doing.

My 5yo gets ready for bed somewhere around 8pm. We do story etc and she looks at books and listens to music until she passes out.

Ds is a different story. He catnaps all evening, usually waking up to tag along for story time with sis. Then somewhere between 11pm and 1am passes out for 5 or 6 hours. Then he eats and sleeps off and on until sometime between 10am and noon. I have slept in bed with dh maybe 10 times since ds has been born. Most nights I sleep with ds on the couch. I did sleep in bed last night. It was uncomfortable. Dh and I kept waking eachother up (snoring, wiggling, getting up to go to the bathroom, too hot, too cold). Tonight I'm back on the couch since dh has to be at work early and he needs a good night's sleep. I don't know when things are going to change. But he's going to be 6mo in 3 days and I miss my dh and he misses me. Co-sleeping isn't really an option for us. We don't have a head board, we fight over blankets, I've woken up with dh's arm on my face many times, we're both bed hogs...
post #3 of 15
Milkers: I have an almost identical problem. Aria falls asleep alright, nursing or rocking but stays in arms till I go to bed, for that matter she is in arms almost all night as she tends to sleep on my tummy on her tummy. Dh and I are almost NEVER alone. :
post #4 of 15
Well, all I can do is tell you what we do.
We started putting Nate to sleep at the same time as his brothers upstairs around 3-4 months old when falling asleep in arms or in the port-a-crib in the tv/play room became too stimulating for him and he wouldn't stay asleep.

My husband is home for bedtime maybe a little more than half the time, so it has to be a routine that I can also do with all 3 by myself. (He always gets hair washing duty though! As well as doing Nate's bath 1-2 times per week.)

6:45pm - snack, go upstairs, play, sing rhymes for Nate, get everything "ready" for the bedtime routine (ie. pjs & diapers out on beds, pick out books to read, clean up, get water cups, etc.)
7:00pm - run bath and brush teeth.
- Ryan & AJ into bathtub, Nate into pjs.
7:15 - Ryan & AJ out of tub, into pjs.
7:20 - read 3 books to Ryan & AJ, Nate plays with toys on our bed.
7:30 - lights out for Ryan & AJ, read Nate his book, nurse to sleep if he wants to, otherwise turn out light and go downstairs (he isn't a big mover yet, so with bedrails he's safe for now; I've already set up the pack & play next to our bed so soon he'll start the night there and come into our bed later). Nate just goes right to sleep by himself .
post #5 of 15
Well, we're still working on our routine, but it's getting better.

We do baths at 7:30 (me, ds1 and ds2.) dh dresses ds2 and I dress ds1. dh takes ds1 into bedroom and reads books, then sings and rocks him to sleep. At the same time, I nurse ds2 to sleep then put him in his carseat (only place he'll sleep more than 1 hour straight - unless I'm in bed with him).

So, that's what works for us.

Krista - totally jealous that Nate will go to sleep on his own.
post #6 of 15
i don't know if isa's ability to fall asleep easily is a matter of personality or habit... but here is what we do for her bedtime between 7:30-8:00pm.

we usually all have dinner together with the lights down low and things generally mellow around the house (no tv, no radio, etc).

we read a story with daddy in the rocking chair or snuggle with mama on the couch for a few minutes.

take a short bath if it's bath night.

put on nighttime diaper and pjs.

nurse (if she's hungry) in bed with all the lights out.

put her in the crib, usually still awake but sleepy.

sometimes i have to go back in and shhhh for a second, but thats about it.

hope that helps! note: her last nap of the day ends around 3 or 4 so she is super tired by bedtime.
post #7 of 15
post #8 of 15
We do the same thing. I'll try to lay her in our bed to nurse asleep, but she'll just "talk".

I bought the dr. sears baby sleep book for help. I am on chapter 2.
post #9 of 15
Originally Posted by lenore80 View Post

I bought the dr. sears baby sleep book for help. I am on chapter 2.
No Cry Sleep Solution has some insight on that too. I think it made a difference for us in getting her to fall asleep for naps on her own (which previously was a complete nightmare, all day long!)
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks mamas! I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this, too

I sort of did the same thing with my older DD, but I think when we just had one it wasn't that big of a deal. I got more breaks during the day and it didn't drain me to have to stay up with her late or have her in arms alot of the time. Now I can literally go 7:30 am to midnight on some days without both girls asleep at the same time. I also WOH part time when DD#1 was little so I enjoyed having that time with her at night.

And to those who have babes that can be laid down and they go to sleep on their own . . . . um, yeah. No comment.
post #11 of 15
post #12 of 15
Lets see, right now DH puts DD to bed and it is there special time (at 4.5 years old it is pretty easy with her). Kienan naps at that point (around 7pm). He has a quick half hour nap then I play with him and around 8:30-9 I rock/nurse him to sleep and go to bed too. We all have the flu so everyone being asleep is good these days

Once we are better I plan on trying to leave him in the room on his own. What we did for naps was rush back in and nurse when he needed and he can now do a 2 hour alone nap

good luck

post #13 of 15
Originally Posted by mamamilkers View Post
And to those who have babes that can be laid down and they go to sleep on their own . . . . um, yeah. No comment.
post #14 of 15
My older girls get ready to head to bed by 7:30 or 8:00 in the Winter (later in the summer, they don't go to bed until it is getting dark then.) so Luna sits with us for bedtime stories. Once my older girls have gone to bed, I put LuLu in her nighty diaper and pj's and nurse her for a while. Sometimes she falls asleep while nursing and other times she nurses until she has her fill and unlatches. I can tell she's ready to crash if she rubs her eyes, ears and face with her little fists, so if she doesn't want to nurse, I tuck her in (she still sleeps in her carseat next to our bed most of the time) and she will coo for a while and eventually drift off to sleep. She's generally down from 9pm to about 6am with 2-4 feedings throughout the night. I bring her into bed for her feedings and if I am awake when she sleeps again, I put her back in her seat, she sleeps so much better in her own space. If I pass out, she just sleeps next to me, but is more wakeful.
post #15 of 15
Well, I slept in bed again last night and Ian stayed asleep till 8am! He was in his amby. I've been holding him a lot for naps again, but I'm planning on trying to do more naps in his room so I can do more school stuff with dd. I also ordered him a couple crib toys on ebay (2 for less than 1). He likes his mobile buy it's an old school wind up one that clacks as you wind it. When it winds down, he stares and stares at it until he gets upset that it isn't doing anything and then he cries, so I'm hoping that one or both of these things will keep his attention and help him fall asleep. (one is the peaceful planet aquarium that projects waves on the ceiling, that I think he might really like)

I guess at this point, if I can sleep in bed I don't care what time I finally end up getting there. Once he is sleeping predictably, then I can start moving bed time around. At least that's my plan for this week, lol.
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