Co-Sleeping didn't work for us :(

[ColoradoKat]

We just moved my 13 week old out of not only our bed, but our room and I am so sad, but our lives work much better.

DD has been a noisy sleeper since she was born and I have always been a light sleeper. In the beginning I was nursing her all night, so didn't mind being up so much. Now she is sleeping longer stretches, sometimes up to 7 hours straight! I however was waking up to every move and grunt she made.

We borrowed an arms reach co sleeper from a friend but I was still up all night. So we moved it to the bottom of the bed, put on more white noise, I even tried ear plugs.......... I was still waking up all the time.

So we moved her out of the bed and WOW! I am finally getting some sleep and so is she. What I do notice is that she cries out now when she wakes up to be fed. When she was in our bed she didn't need to cry out because I was right there. This makes me sad but overall I am a better mom because I am getting some sleep.

I really, really, really wanted to co sleep, I had these visions of cuddling my babe all night, allowing her to feed when she wants, but not having her in bed seems to be better for our family (me).

Is there anything else I should try? I feel guilty about having her so far away when she sleeps.

Mourning........

[mommy2abigail]

It took me a long time to get used to dd in our bed. I really didn't sleep well until she was about 10 months old. : We did try to move her into her own crib at about 4 months, because I was tired. Really tired. Hallucinating tired. But she had other plans. She, unlike your little one, did not sleep well, either on her own or with me. And it was worse for me because I'd turn the monitor up really loud, so I could hear her breathing. We also had a video monitor and I'd stay awake watching her sleep, waiting for her to wake up....which inevitable she'd do just as soon as I laid down and closed my eyes. I think it's because we are raised to sleep alone that it's somewhat un-natural for us to co-sleep. In cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, you are basically never alone, so you are used to the tossing and turning, the adjusting, sleep noises, ect from others. I remember I had a hard time when I first got married too. It was so weird to share my space with dh. Of course we just kept at it, and now I can't sleep without him. Same with dd. I couldn't sleep unless she's right there. Maybe you just needed some time? Could you nap together?

[Mama Poot]

You might try again if she starts waking 3,4,5,6 times a night to nurse and every time you have to get UP, walk to her room, by the time she's done you're wide awake.....UGH pure torture IMO, I've done that. Why were you having trouble with her being in the same room??

[newmommy]

At 13 weeks old DS slept on our chest....until Age 2.5. DH and I took turns.

Today, he sleeps exactly like this

I realize it's an awkard position but feeling the warmth and close comfort of our bodies is what lulled him to sleep.

I guess I would be extremely nervous having my 13 week old another room.

You have to worry about SIDS until well after Age 1.

I know I spent practically DS's first year wide awake watching him breathe...

Since your baby will be sleeping in his own room, do you have a Baby Monitor?

[laohaire]

I don't see a problem. You are getting better sleep. She is getting better sleep. Sleeping in different rooms works for you!

Just curious, were you always such a sensitive sleeper? Does your partner sleep with you? Does that affect your sleep? I just ask because I also got ultrasensitive when DD was newborn; I think that's built in.

[ColoradoKat]

Thanks for all your replies. DD does not have her own room, she sleeps right outside our door, so we don't need a monitor. She is a VERY active sleeper. Grunting, thrashing, arching, sucking on her hand all night...slurp, slurp, slurp...

I never use to be such a light sleeper, just since dd was born. I don't mind getting up at night to nurse her. I would awaken as much when she was in bed with us. I have tried napping with her, but it's the same situation, I just can't fall asleep with her there.

[425lisamarie]

13 week old babies, don't snuggle . I know what you mean though. At 2.5 my son loves to cuddle, I'm sure DD will be that way too

[fico18]

I'm having the same sleep problem with my 5 mo.dd. I have turned into the lightest sleeper, I have thought about moving her but haven't yet. I'd be so sad too, but If your getting much needed sleep it might be worth it. Sometimes I feel so exhausted that I think if I only had a few hours of good sleep I'd be a better mama

[clavicula]

if it works for you-do it!

[octobermom]

My DD did well cosleeping (side car) for a few months but then got fussier and fussier w moved her to a crib but our room and shes happily slept there till about age two when we moved and she got her own room which she thought was majorly cool and that pretty much ended her cosleeping days. DO whats best I kinda "forced" the cosleeping in the begiing cause I thought it was the AP thing to cosleep. Not all babies kids need the same. Heck even I don't liek to be touched or crowded when I sleep :

[sophmama]

I co-slept with my dd1 and had really awful sleep for a long time and it affected my health and my mental state. I am super pro co-sleeping, but I am also super pro healthy happy families all sleeping well. Your dc my outgrow the noisy sleep at some point and you can all move back in together. It's not over forever necessarily. I'm all for a range of acceptable gentle night time sleep solutions for families!

[ksera05]

just do what works for you.

[climbermom]

That sounds like how it was for me with DS cosleeping. He coslept with us for his first 7 weeks, most of which I slept like you are describing. He didn't sleep well, either, and at 7 weeks he just would not sleep with us anymore. He couldn't fall asleep in our bed. It was so bizarre to me, because I had all of these ideas that babies were supposed to sleep great in the family bed. So we moved him to the bassinet, and eventually to the crib in his own room. Months later he was finally able to sleep in bed with us again, although he has never fallen asleep initially in our bed since then. Every night he starts out in his own bed and comes in with us in the middle of the night. It works great now that he's old enough to come in on his own. He also sleeps much more soundly now (he's 2) and so I usually get decent sleep with him in the bed.

[sonrisaa29]

we tried cosleeping and it just didn't work for us either ....my son could never sleep, so finally exhausted we thought ok we'll try the crib and that was the first night he actually slept more than 2 hours! Sometimes he comes in our room now but his a flinger(he can take up a whole queen size bed by himself spreading himself out)

I would say do what ever works best for you and your family....

[ndunn]

Originally Posted by newmommy

I realize it's an awkard position but feeling the warmth and close comfort of our bodies is what lulled him to sleep.

I guess I would be extremely nervous having my 13 week old another room.

You have to worry about SIDS until well after Age 1.

:

[wendy1221]

Originally Posted by ColoradoKat

Thanks for all your replies. DD does not have her own room, she sleeps right outside our door, so we don't need a monitor. She is a VERY active sleeper. Grunting, thrashing, arching, sucking on her hand all night...slurp, slurp, slurp... (

That sounds like reflux to me.

[Zuzu822]

We've stopped cosleeping recently as well. DS had to sleep on me until three months, then after that he slept or in his Arms Reach, but he outgrew it around six months! He was too long to wiggle and move and woke up every few minutes. Same thing in our bed (full), so we moved him to his crib, and he's sleeping so much better! Because our room is so small, he's in his own room (about five feet away), but he's sleeping very well! Most nights it's about a five hour stretch, though it can be less. Getting up is a pain, but if it's what works for him, that's what we do. I'm sad, but there it is. We're moving to a bigger house soon, with a huge master, so I'm hoping we can move the crib into our room then.

You need to do what works for you, though it would make me a wee bit nervous to have one so young out of my sight.

[Thompson'sMommy]

You might try swaddling her.