Helping a friend with PPD...

[anniebee]

Hi ladies, I would LOVE your insight into this. I hope this is an appropriate question. I'm not sure where to go to ask.

One of my closest friends just had her second baby. She suffered with some very severe PPD with her first (to the point of psychosis), and just called me today, telling me that she is in her own personal hel l.

I want to do everything I can to encourage her through this. She went on Welbutrin (sp?) as soon as her son was born, and it hasn't yet kicked in 3 weeks later.

She told me that she's not really eating much, partly b/c she nothing sounds good and partly b/c she doesn't feel like making anything. So, my first step was making a bunch of food for her freezer, which I'm packaging as individual servings, hoping that, should something sound good, she can pluck one out and doesn't have to take much gumption or effort.

What else can I do to come alongside her right now? Besides the standing offer to take her kids so she can go out? I would love your insight. Thank you!

[miche28]

I think your friend is very lucky to have you!

It's hard to really say what she might need, as she's the best judge, but certainly, the meals would help a ton. If you can drop in for a visit and do some tidying around the house - I know one thing that had me super-stressed was dealing with all the gifts and flowers and the chaos they created. Or, of course, laundry or walking the dog or any little thing that can just be done and she doesn't need to think of it....

The other thing I'd mention is whether she has a partner and how aware he is of how she's doing. It sounds like she's really struggling - it may pass with good support and time, but it may need more invention than practical day-to-day help will provide (that's critical too, of course).

HTH! Good luck!

[michelle524]

I think I might have a little PPD, and what's helping me is my friend who keeps calling to check up on me. she knows that i will rarely call her when I'm feeling down, but i will open up when she calls. it's silly, i know i CAN call her, but i just don't. so stay on top of your friend, make sure she is constantly reminded of how much you love her and you're there for her. i imagine that would help her too.

and when someone says "what can i do?" i usually say "shoot me" then we have an awkward giggle and nothing happens! so make suggestions - can i run to the store for you? do you want me to grab some coffee and come over? do you want to go out to the mall? do you want to come over? maybe if you lead her into something, it will help her. i know i hate to ask for help, but i am more likely to take it when offered.

finally, can you suggest she come on here? i find this forum and the life with a babe forum so helpful for making me feel less alone. i also feel "safe" saying things here since no one knows me IRL. I've said things here i can't tell DH...

good luck to your friend. she is so lucky to have you.

[tansyflower]

Yesterday a friend showed up un-announced saying "if you won't answer my phone calls, I'm coming to you!" Honestly if I had heard her drive up I would've locked the doors and pretended to not be home! But there she was...I can't say I was happy to see her but I am glad she stopped by if that makes sense. Maybe just checking in on your friend, she might want to visit or she might not but at least she will know you thought of her.

People have offered to take my kids but it is the scariest thought in the world to be without them when I know they are what is holding me together. What I have been thankful for, though, is for a friend to come by and play with my kids at my house while I take a long shower, drink some tea, or just have some down time.