or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › How old is to old?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How old is to old? - Page 6

Poll Results: How old is to old to sleep in the family bed?

 
  • 1% (5)
    1 year old
  • 2% (9)
    2 years old
  • 4% (19)
    3 years old
  • 4% (17)
    4 years old
  • 5% (23)
    5 years old
  • 4% (20)
    6 years old
  • 3% (14)
    7 years old
  • 5% (22)
    8 years old
  • 1% (8)
    9 years old
  • 5% (22)
    10 years old
  • 1% (8)
    11 years old
  • 4% (20)
    12 years old
  • 1% (7)
    13 years old
  • 8% (36)
    14 + years old
  • 44% (184)
    Other (please explain!)
414 Total Votes  
post #101 of 161
Thanks for speaking up You will not get any flames from me.

But I did want you to know how happy I am w/co-sleeping---just so you know someone who is. My hubby and I co-sleep w/my just turned 2 and just turned 5 yr olds. Me and the boys sleep in the queen and my hubby sleeps in the twin that is pushed up next to it. I could not imagine not sleeping with my children--honestly and truly. I cannot imagine my 5 yr old leaving the bed anytime soon And I don't think my husband would permit it

Our marriage is phenomonal, actually the best it has ever been. We have fallen back madly in love with each other as I have been on my healing journey for cancer.

We are ecstatically happy and in love and loving every moment of our parenting.

So, now you know someone
Amy

ETA: Wanted to add. I never ever come to this forum and post. Why? B/c I have not one problem w/co-sleeping that I need advice on. This is a 'problem' w/this board as people like me don't come here and post about how happy they are. The only reason I came is b/c I saw that mamakerry was the OP and she rocks.
post #102 of 161
I voted other. I beleive there is no precise age, I think whenever they are ready and willing. THan great.
It looks like most other people agree, I din't read all the posts yet.
post #103 of 161
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kundalini-Mama View Post
The only reason I came is b/c I saw that mamakerry was the OP and she rocks.
Thanks for that!!
post #104 of 161
post #105 of 161
I will admit I hastily voted for "2." But really I was thinking of my preference for my own family. My twins take up a lot of space and are really mobile and squirmy and kicky and hair-pully at times now at 1, so I am really hoping they get to spending the night in their room by 2. I'm actually eager for them to be old enough (and aware enough of their body movements and out of the hair-pulling phase) to sleep together, because that's how they came into this world, and that's how they spent most of their first 7 months (including most of their 9 weeks in the NICU).

But reading the replies, I realize I ought to have voted other - because certainly my preference doesn't apply to everyone and if everyone in the bed is happy, why should anyone leave?

I have very little RL experience with co-sleeping families. No one I know has ever co-slept as a conscious choice, and honestly I used to think it was kind of strange. But reading more and being on MDC has really opened my eyes and helped dispell that feeling. This thread even more so. I wish I could change my vote!
post #106 of 161
Thanks for replying and not flaming! I'm glad it works for you ~ I've always believed you need to do what works for you and nobody else. If I had my way, I would sleep all alone, so I am not the best person to have an opinion on this. I never had the need as a child to sleep with a sibling and even though we took turns sleeping with my mom when my dad was out of town, I could take it or leave it. I like it dark and quiet with lots of room to stretch out! I wish you lots of luck on your healing journey. I hope everything works out for you!
post #107 of 161
I voted "other". I slept with my mom and dad until I was 12 and my 2 boys and I still sleep with them when I stay the night without DH!
post #108 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
Ok, I'll admit I am one of the ones who said 1 or 2. I'm not a big fan of cosleeping, because I don't know anyone in real life who does it happily. They are all miserable and wish their children would sleep in their own rooms. Their marriages have suffered terribly too. My kids slept happily and content in their cribs and along with all the horror stories I hear on this forum, I'm glad. However, I also believe people should do what they feel is best and if they love cosleeping, go for it! (I think people haven't spoke up, because they usually get flamed for this attitude.)
Interesting. We love it. As does everyone I know IRL who co-sleeps. The cosleeping moms get a lot more sleep than, for example, my SIL who is always out of bed with one kid or another.

-Angela
post #109 of 161
I love co-sleeping too. At night I look forward to crawling into my (queen size so plenty of room ) bed with my 3 year old. She is the world's best night time cuddly warm thing to sleep with. I'm so not looking forward to the day she finally demands her own room.

I'm so, so glad I made the choice to co-sleep.

Hmmm, this thread is making me feel sleepy...
post #110 of 161
i said 4,after that they're on their own.if you allow it too long they become dependant on others,scared of the dark and stuff like that.
i would rather have an independant fearless child,who would blossom into a strong independant adult.
post #111 of 161
I voted other, I love co-sleeping. DH always tells me he wants to buy DD a race car bed, so I think he wants her out at a few years old (like 2-3), when she can still fit in a toddler bed....but if I get my way (which I will ), this race car bed with have to fit a rather large and grown child! Heck, he may have to give it to her as a wedding gift!
realistically though, I'll probably set up a room for her with her own bed when shes a few years old (4 or 5 maybe?) and she can choose to sleep there or with us.
post #112 of 161
other

I slept in the same bed with my mom from about 13-16 years old. My brothers and sister had all moved out by then, and it was just us two left in the house. It took us both a while to get used to being by ourselves.

I have no timetable for DS. I don't feel comfortable with it being before he is five years old though, because the bed in his room is a built in loft that has a ladder going up to it, not something I want a little one to navigate.

I have no problems co-sleeping either, but we do need a bigger bed It's the three of us in a full size! Hopefully we can get a bigger one before having #2.
post #113 of 161
nevermind
post #114 of 161
I voted 11, but I can't see myself ever kicking my daughter out of the family bed.
post #115 of 161
I've spent a good while considering the question posed here, and honestly fail to see what age has to do with members of the same family sharing a bed/room. Once a family, always a family.
If, however, I saw that it was in my DC's developmental interests to explore other options, whether on an occasional or frequent basis, I would certainly support and encourage that, though no way before she/he could ride a bicycle (without stabilizers)
post #116 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by momoffaith5 View Post
i said 4,after that they're on their own.if you allow it too long they become dependant on others,scared of the dark and stuff like that.
i would rather have an independant fearless child,who would blossom into a strong independant adult.
What kind of studies do you have to back this up? I would love to read them.
post #117 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by momoffaith5 View Post
i said 4,after that they're on their own.if you allow it too long they become dependant on others,scared of the dark and stuff like that.
i would rather have an independant fearless child,who would blossom into a strong independant adult.
I would have posted "other" if the polls weren't closed. Personally, we love it if it works for the whole family. Worked great with ds#1 but ds#2 prefers the crib. I never would have through it was possible...

But as to what momoffaith5 said, I think it really depends on the child rather than research. We're just too variable to be confined to case studies of X. When I was a child, I slept with my mother until I was about 10 or so. My ds, on the other hand, chose to sleep in his own bed at 3 1/2 and I was mortified! He climbs in with us most nights, but he shows no signs of fear around being alone in his bed. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep alone in a bed until my preteens. I think it just depends a lot on temperment and experiences.
post #118 of 161
I voted other, DS would be welcome to sleep with us as long as he wanted to. He's 3.5 and decided totally on his own recently that he wants to sleep in his own bed. He still comes into our bed in the middle of the night usually. I had no plans to "transition" him to his own bed, I was fully prepared for him to stay in our bed until 5 or 6 or beyond.

Sometimes I think though that the people whose kids are NOT welcome in the parents' bed ultimately end up having way more battles over the issue.
post #119 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barb36 View Post
But as to what momoffaith5 said, I think it really depends on the child rather than research. We're just too variable to be confined to case studies of X. When I was a child, I slept with my mother until I was about 10 or so. My ds, on the other hand, chose to sleep in his own bed at 3 1/2 and I was mortified! He climbs in with us most nights, but he shows no signs of fear around being alone in his bed. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep alone in a bed until my preteens. I think it just depends a lot on temperment and experiences.
I hear you Barb. But that is a pretty broad, generalizing, sweeping statement to make----without one shread of evidence to back it up. And what is the saying, "ancedotal evidence is not empirical evidence" (or something very close to that )
post #120 of 161
I voted other. I was in my mom's bed until I was nine. My older sister used to crawl into bed with my mom when she came home from being out with her friends (mom was babysitting her son) if they had gone to see a scary movie. She was in her 20's at the time. She'd probably kill me for mentioning that
My dd moved to her own bed when she was between 2-3, because we both move around a lot in our sleep and sleep in really weird positions so we don't get a lot of sleep together. But she's always welcome, although she's only ever joined us in bed once, and that was last month.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › How old is to old?