How old is to old? - Page 8

[nicolelynn]

Dh and I don't have children yet...and my parents only co-slept with us as babies.

All along and through about 11 years of age for all my brothers and I...we would co-sleep with my parents when we were sick, had a bad dream or were scared. I even remember being 12, scared about something and wanted to sleep with my parents. I was old enough to talk myself out of it, though haha.

So for some kids the need is there for along time, at least occasionally.

[DQMama]

I voted other. My sister co-slept with my mom when she was 13. My parents had just gotten divorced, I left for college, and she was scared to be alone.

My dad actually made an issue of it in court and my mother was court-ordered to stop co-sleeping.

(We are all on good terms now but it was rough for a while there.)

[auds]

i LOVE that most people chose other, indicating what we all know is true, there is always an exception to the rule so why bother with the rule in the first place and just go with what works for you!

[mamamoo]

Originally Posted by DQMama

I voted other. My sister co-slept with my mom when she was 13. My parents had just gotten divorced, I left for college, and she was scared to be alone.

My dad actually made an issue of it in court and my mother was court-ordered to stop co-sleeping.

(We are all on good terms now but it was rough for a while there.)

I can not believe they could do that!! :

[SabbathD]

I think we will make a bed available around 3-4 in our room, with no expectations that she will sleep in it, and we will hope that she is a wee bit more full time by the time she is 8-9 ish. That said, she is always welcome.

[adamsfam07]

I voted other. After my parents divorced when I was 10 my brother, mother and I had to move in with my grandparents for a while and we all shared a room, and therefore a bed. There are still times when my 6yr ds or my 9yr ds will come and get in bed with my dh and I if they don't feel well or have a bad dream. I figure they grow up and want to leave too fast anyway so why not.

[littlemizflava]

Originally Posted by hotwings640

I voted other.

When my kids get married then I am pretty sure that they are too big to be sleeping between me and my husband.

i love it


I dont think there is a time or a age i dont like sleeping alone so how is it fair for me to force my child to do it... i dont think there is a age that is too big i could never refuse my child needing comfort it is even beter when dd dont wake me up just crawls in bed

[Suprakid1982]

i was around 10-11 when i went with my own bed, after that, we had beds all in one room, pretty much traning me and my brother to sleep on our own, but with my mom near by( dad passed on )

sooo your 9 year old dd still sleeping with you? there taint nothing wrong with that,

IMHO i belive that with how society is today, with how grown up even middle school can be i think 12 can be also a point where encouraging sleeping on their own since its a time when if they found out that they werent sleeping in their own bed theyd get made fun of which is, imho quite cruel, and this makes me wonder too, have you mammas ever had a instance whre your DC ever bought this issue up?

[geek_the_girl]

I havent read the thread yet but I voted other.
I think that it just depends on the kid and family..ect ect ect..Everyone is different. Every situation is different.
My family gives me sh*t because our girl still sleeps with us. Shes 4 1/2. Whatever.

[Suprakid1982]

Originally Posted by geek_the_girl

I havent read the thread yet but I voted other.
I think that it just depends on the kid and family..ect ect ect..Everyone is different. Every situation is different.
My family gives me sh*t because our girl still sleeps with us. Shes 4 1/2. Whatever.

thats really odd that they would.

[pixilixi]

It's a worn-out response, but I totally agree that there is no set age-limit for the family bed, though I could understand that families may have their own limits for various reasons.

As for us, I have no plans for ds to have his own bed, though we will need to add a bed/mattress for some more room!

I never ever co-slept, nor have my siblings. My mum believes that it's a bad idea to sleep with babies over a couple of months old because they'll come to like it and will never get out. Sadly (I think), my younger sister became sexually active at around age 14 - I don't think my mum realised this, but I bet that she would prefer my sister occasionally jumping into their bed, rather than in the bed of some neighbourhood boy.

Better that your children know you are always there for them at any age - maybe then they will be less likely to seek out other dangerous "comforts"?

Brooke

[triscuitsmom]

I was 19 through most of my pregnancy with my son, I'm 20 now and I slept with my Mom every night until my due date (that was when she got a new matress for her bed... specifically so that the baby and I could share the big bed

I think the answer "When they have babies of their own to share with" is probably closest to true for me. In reality if I needed or wanted to crawl into bed with my Mom I could.

My brother would crawl into either my bed or my Mom's bed until he was 12 or 13 regularily... he has phobias and higher needs at night. I usually can sleep alone but sometimes not (it was nice to not have to during my pregnancy). For example when my ex-fiance and I broke up in July 2005 I came home and crawled into bed with my brother... it was instinct.

My 11 (almost 12) year old sister sleeps with my Dad when she's visiting some nights. She has a bed of her own but likes to share more than being alone.

My children will never be unwelcome... they can decide on their own

[Sunflower223]

I slept with my mom and dad until I was about 12. After that when my dad was out of town which was often, I always slept with my mom. I even sleep with her now if we are over there and its just she and I and the baby. The only thing I have to say about it is that I still honestly have a hard time sleeping by myself. I don't think there is a set age when you have to stop though. My dd started to sleep on her own at about 1, younger than any of the other kids in our family or friend circle. It worked for her. She sleeps better alone though.

One of my friends has a 6 year old son and she still co-sleeps with him. He doesn't even have a bed of his own. She is a single mom and works a lot and she likes the closeness. Do whatever works for you and your family.

[Cinder]

I don't think I can put a # on it, I would assume it would vary from kid to kid and situation to situation...

My kids stopped co-sleeping at 3 1/2 and 2, and that was WAY too early for me!

[Cinder]

Originally Posted by Sunflower223

I slept with my mom and dad until I was about 12. After that when my dad was out of town which was often, I always slept with my mom. I even sleep with her now if we are over there and its just she and I and the baby. The only thing I have to say about it is that I still honestly have a hard time sleeping by myself. I don't think there is a set age when you have to stop though.

Up untill my grandma got re-married 5 years ago (my grandpa died 10 years ago) I still slept with my grandma anytime I stayed with her.

My step-bil slept with his parents till 12, and some very close friends of my families co-slept with their kids till the girl was like 8 and the boy is still co-sleeping now and will be 10 in July.

[WiccanMama]

I choose the option of "other" cause sometimes family's can't afford a home where every kid can have there own room so they just all sleep on a big huge one.. some of our friends pushed 2 king sized matress's together to make a hoomungis bed for thier 6 kids to all sleep w/ them they range in age from infant to 13.

My son is 13 and slept in our bed in between us until he was 10. Then he got too big and would make me & Dh sleep on the edge, so now he has his own queen size bed next to our queen size bed. Me have two Ikea platform beds in our room. One for him, one for us,... hey it works.

My friend has a gigantic master bedroom and she is a single mom and her 17 year old son still sleeps in the same room as her. Her in her bed, him in his.

So I say as long you like it then it isn't harming anyone.

Namaste,
Meg :

[anarchamama]

I voted other becasue I'm just not sure yet. DS is 3.5, around 3 he wanted to start sleeping in his own room, so he starts out the night there and usually comes to our bed in the early morning. We have 2 double mattress and a king duvet so that there is lots of room for everyone. I suppose at some point we might start to feel uncomfortable with it and all the nudity, or perhaps ds will first. I think we are just waiting to see what everyones individual comfort levels are as we go along but we are nowhere near pushing them yet. Also I assume as the kids get older and sleep in their own room they will end up in bed with each other as well, so maybe ds2 will stop sleeping in our bed earlier?

[aimcar]

I voted "other" as well. I don't think there is a magic age to stop co-sleeping. Whatever works for you and your family is the right thing to do!

[cjuniverse]

Other.

'Too old' is when the child(ren) in question are ready to sleep on their own, and/or there are serious sleeping issues that can only be resolved by moving them into their own beds (though not necessarily rooms...I'm thinking co-sleeper/futon/etc).

Family sleeping arrangements are natural, and as such I don't think there needs to be an arbitrary cut-off at any age. My husband slept with his parents well into his teen years, and when he moved with his mother after his parents divorce in his early twenties, he shared a bed with his mother. No big deal.

The bizarre tendency of Western culture to sexualize/stigmatize EVERYTHING seems to be the major force behind many questions of this nature...

[RedPony]

Wow, look at all these different responses!

I voted "other". My parents were adamant that we didn't sleep in bed with them as children. BUT - I shared a bed with my sister until I was 12. Which made her 15. My two older brothers also shared a bed well into their teens. It was a space issue for sure, with six kids. I've also spend nights with my grandma as a kid and aunts and girlfriends as a young adult (same bed) so really... it's no big deal for me!