okay you guys.
I'm positively cringing. I have sort of forged a relationship with a good (very good) friend of mine. He seems perfect in every way except he has poverty consciousness (among other things). He lives in a really poor manner and rationalizes continually taking money from the government. FTR I find nothing wrong with welfare, food stamps, etc...I could use some help myself but I make *just* above the income that you need to make. He has only just found a job that he seems to want to keep, he likes it and it pays well. He even has insurance now. The thing is that he wants to continue living the way he is
. rent free, food stamps, education and accesories paid for, etc. IMO, government help is for those who need it, not those who can scam the system and take it. It irks me so much. He usually doesn't keep a job for missing too many days due to his asthma. He is a landscaper and is okay around all of the allergens, stress brings it on (he says) I guess I believe him. I had no reason to be so irked by it until we took our relationship into the romantic realm. Now every little thing is bothering me
talks with his hands, I just want to hit them down, I cringe and don't hear what he says bc I'm too distracted.
He sometimes has bad breath
OMG, there are so many little, superficial things that are making me want to crawl out of my skin.
Why oh why did I let him kiss me??? I should've known.
I felt differently about it before, he met all of my criteria for a partner (I forgot to add 'must not irritate me so'
) well, except that I wanted a prosperous partner (not a 'rich man', but someone who sees money as an energy exchange, and doesn't always feel lacking
I've really fallen off of the wagon here ladies, I'm back on now but I now have to break the news to him, I'm not looking forward to that. I won't mention that he is driving me crazy
, I will just tell him that it is just not working for me and I'd like to take our relationship and cut out the physical intimacy, remain friends, like we were.
This is the same friend that I said a while back that I needed to clear a bit out of my every day life to allow the right man to enter. I feel so stupid....I need to forgive myself and move on, I know that, but that is where I am right now