scary flashbacks for me about dd1. your dd is hurting, so she cries and wants only you. it's so hard. but if you CIO you probably know she'd cry until she barfs, cry all night, and then look at you as though you'd abandoned her. or refuse to look at you, like my dd1 did when i first went back to work when she was 5mos.
vax dd1, one of my great regrets. she had some signs of allergy problems before her 4mos vaxes (fussy, digestive probs, mucus/green stools, constipation/diarrhea, projectile vomiting, runny nose, nap only attached, often just 20min...), but she only woke 3-4x/night, nursed briefly, let go
and slept. then days after that second set of vaxes she became like your dd, she only slept attached, and i couldn't sleep through it. (and i didn't realize the vax connection until i read my first mothering mag a year later). i recall days where dh fed me because only i could hold her and i had to hold her upright and couldn't manage to eat soup. i hallucinated. dh and i fought. i started elimination diets...
so what can i say to help... so much good advice already!
one thing is your brain adjusts to sleep deprivation after a while. when dd1 was little i remember being a basket case after days where i got 3 hours of sleep, now, years later i can function pretty well on those days. and did much better adjusting to it again when dd2 came along. i know hearing the word "years" associated with sleep deprivation is terrifying, but it gets easier, it really does.
i think i've seen your name before, maybe in healing the gut? if not, go to health and healing, start reading/posting. if you and dd both have leaky gut issues, she will continue to develop new allergies to the foods she gets the most exposure to. so if you've been eating those same ?8 foods for months, they may not be "safe" anymore, and other "unsafe" foods could be added back in, a little at a time, without her reacting. my dd1 was great when i went on the turkey, lamb, rice, millet, yam, zuccini, ?,?, diet (13 foods) for about 3 weeks, but it got bad again until i was back to square one by 5 weeks. so i'd look into trying other foods for a while, that she's never been exposed to, like amaranth, teff, quinoa, buckwheat (grains), leafy veggies (kale, bok choy), meats you don't usually eat (?rabbit, deer, bison), and then go for as much variety as possible to limit the dose of any one food. but keep the biggies gone: dairy, wheat, soy etc., for a long time.
i know the most confusing thing is trying to figure out why there are good and bad days. for us it was complicated by my working 1-2x/week, so dd1 was getting 3-4 week old frozen pumped milk on those days, and often did better or worse, and i'd have no idea if it was something i ate that day or a month ago. do you ever pump and store/use your milk?
look into NAET. it's an accupressure technique that's supposed to "reset" the body's response to offending foods/substances. but if your gut is still "leaky," then it may not help until after you improve that.http://www.naet.com/
a common problem associated with leaky gut and allergies is yeast. you can look here for info, see if anything seems like it fits. http://www.yeastconnection.com/
probiotics. i hesitate to recommend a brand, because they have fillers (corn, potato, silica!), or residual dairy proteins, etc, and i don't want to make things worse. but look in healing the gut and people there can tell you lots about different brands and help guide you. both you and dd take them.
and last but most certainly not least, try supplememting with minerals
. both for you and dd. you can add them to a little expressed milk, or water, by spoon if no bottles are used. you know your nutrition is compromised after such a resricted diet. i've been reading momtezuema tuatara's sticky in the vax forum, nutrition and immunology 101: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=406983
so i got inspired to start adding trace minerals to our water jug. it makes sense, and i feel more energetic yet calmer now, plus less hungry/"snacky" and lost almost 5# in the month. cheesy anecdotal testimonial, but minerals might help. they shouldn't hurt, since they're not food based. i've been using this: http://www.traceminerals.com/products/drops.html