The circle of life

[PixelDust]

Julieanne started having B-H contractions last night, and then today they turned into crampy feelings. Tonight, they're stronger and getting mildly painful, and seem to be coming about every thirty minutes. Whether or not this is labor, her body is gearing up, and our first child will be here soon. I want to put a smiley emoticon here, but I can't, because my brother called me eight hours ago to say that our grandmother was in the hospital, five hundred miles away in my hometown, and then an hour ago he called again -- she's gone. She was my last living ancestor, and now she's gone. I feel like my past is slipping away from me; at the same time, though, my future is rising up fast. It reminds me of something my uncle says: We die to make room for the ones who come after us. My parents are gone, and now all my grandparents are gone, too. That's a lot more room than we needed for one little baby.

[lanielayne]

I lost my best friend 3 weeks before dd1's birth. It was hard but her birth was healing too. I am so sorry!

[DreamsInDigital]

Oh honey I'm so sorry for your loss.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

[yonit]

I am so sorry for your loss, Susan.

[mamabear&babybear]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[PixelDust]

Thanks, everyone. Julie's contractions stopped around two a.m. I'm feeling so down this morning. I'm just waiting to hear from my brother when the visitation and funeral will be, even though I obviously can't go down there right now. I really appreciate your support.

[kayjayjay]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Happy labor vibes to you both!

[phillychiquita]

Pixeldust, I am so sorry for your loss.
What a strange time - on one hand losing one of the last related persons in your life who helped to shape you... and just as you are about to become to mother and shaping force in someone else's life....it must feel odd and bittersweet to be left here on your own just as you are to become a parent.
it is indeed a circle of life.
But just think -- how incredible that there is a new protective grandmother-soul and all those other people (your parents) watching over you and Julieanne and this baby at this pivotal time in your new family's life...certainly that is more room than you needed, but also you guys have more angels to protect and support and look out for you three than probably anyone else, and you guys wont be doing anything "alone". They will be there, not physically there in the room, but somewhere they will all be cheering you guys on as you labor and delver and discover parenthood together.

Hang in there...

[Jude Rose]

I've been thinking about you two and sending happy birthing vibes.
Now I read this sad news. I'm so sorry and it seems rather unfair for you to miss the funeral, but she-your grandma-more than understands.
I hope it gets better....

[timneh_mom]

I am so very sorry for your loss!! Although I am blessed to still have both parents, they are in their 70's now and every year I feel more vulnerable about losing them someday. My grandparents are all gone though. It was very strange when DS was born - I had him on the 10 year anniversary of the accidental death of a friend of our family, and two days later was the anniversary of the death of my grandmother who died in my arms. Of course I hadn't remembered these dates at the time, but discovered them later. It is bittersweet - having a baby is so joyous yet it is so hard to say goodbye to people who have passed on.

I am happy, though, that Julieanne is starting to have some signs, I just can't wait to hear all about the birth - it's just such an exciting time!

[Attached Mama]

so sorry

[libragirl]

so sorry for your loss

[MoonWillow]

PixelDust,
I lost my dad very suddenly 2 weeks before my first child's birth (2 years ago). We were very close. I am just about at the place in this pregnancy when it happened last time (does that make sense?) and I am trying not to be terrified that someone close to me is going to die. I am strong, but I have weak moments.
I like what you said about making room.
Anyway I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that you aren't alone.

[raeinparis]

oh susan, i'm so sorry.

[ella*enchanted]

(((Susan))) I am so sorry for your loss.

[illinoismommy]

so sorry

[PixelDust]

Originally Posted by MotherWren

PixelDust,
I lost my dad very suddenly 2 weeks before my first child's birth (2 years ago). We were very close. I am just about at the place in this pregnancy when it happened last time (does that make sense?) and I am trying not to be terrified that someone close to me is going to die. I am strong, but I have weak moments.

Oh yeah, I can totally understand that. It's amazing how superstitious we can get, like our animal brains just kick in and make these completely irrational connections.

[MoonWillow]

Yes! Animal brains
Thank you for giving me a smile despite your own grief Pixel.
You're one cool chick and I'm awfully sorry to see you suffering.

[PixelDust]

Thanks again, everyone.