spin off how DO you get a good adgency?

[Momma Aimee]

There is apost here abot the tragidy of an adoptin adgecy that is being less than honest with the parents -- adn it seems to me -- reading the story -- that money is being taken with no intent to actually see an adoption ahappen.

this brings up a good question for thoese of us still int he reseach stage ---

how do you find a good adgency that you CAN trust -- this is unknown terrority for most people and unlike birth where you can at least trust your body -- this s a new situation involving many people, and governments, you HAVE to have a trusted guide.

So I guess I have some clue -- limited though it may be -- about choosing and OB -- but how on eart do you choose a good adoption adgency to work with???


AImee

[Monie]

call them and talk to them. see how they treat a prospective client.

get references and call them.

do some internet searching. I know that for China adoptions, there are several "rate your agency" websites.

[Starr]

I know the story you are talking about. One thing that I think every adoptive parent needs to know right away is do your own research. Don't rely on an agency to walk you through and tell you about the exact process and procedures. Do it yourself, that way once they give a description on how things should work (especially timelines) you will know if its realistic or not. One of the couples in the adoption scam mentioned on the news that they were told from the moment they signed with the agency it would be 4 to 6 months until their child was home. They were adopting from Guatemala. Had they done a little more reasearch they would know that that timeline is not very realistic. The paperwork process alone can take a few months and then you wait for a referral and have the Guatemala side to finish up. For me if I am paying thousands of dollars to someone I want to know exactly what it is for, when it is due (not all at once), and if something should happen how much I will be refunded. I feel its also my responsibility to have reasearched and know where my money is going. And in the case if something did go wrong what would their action be? Given first priority at a referral?

Research, research, research... Ask people, everyone, what they liked about their agency and what they didn't. I really liked our agency but knew ahead of time there were some things they didn't do or allow, I was ok with that. But for someone who didn't know that upfront and had their mind set on certain things it could have been a huge concern.

Call potential agencies and just talk with them to get a feel of what they are like and how they work. Is there always someone there to help you or answer questions or does that "one person" seem to always be out of the office? If so will they be around in the future to talk to you if you have a question you need answered right away? For us and in any adoption communication is key. Even try calling when they are out and leave a message and see how long it takes for them to call you back.

Ask about post placement as well. Are postplacement reports required? And if so for how long and what do you need? If you have any minor problems or questions once the child is home are they going to help you? We called our agency numerous times in the first two weeks our daughter was home just because we had some small concerns and questions on her adjusting, they were really helpful. I have heard of some agencies that once your child is home thats it and good luck, very rare.

I hope all of this helps.

[EFmom]

I would talk to a number of different agencies. Contact the people they give as references, but don't stop there. Join a yahoo group or other discussion group for people adopting from a particular country. read about people's experiences. Ask the group for input on your agency of interest. If you have particular "issues" like sexual orientation, prior divorces, medical conditions, family size, etc., see if you can find others with these issues who have had contact with your agencies of interest.

You really have to do your homework. Realize that things that bug some people would be insignificant to others, so decide what's important to you. In addition to some bad agencies, there are some people who are looking to adopt who have very unrealistic expectations.

[Momma Aimee]

Don't rely on an agency to walk you through and tell you about the exact process and procedures. Do it yourself

Could you offer some ideas on where to get started with this --

-- compare the "programs" at different adgecies and see if they all "mesh"

or

some place else?

Aimee

[Starr]

One way I found to compare and remember I did international, was to make a list of all the main countries to choose from. Then look at basic requirements, can be done with a search, China for example was out because we were not 30. Find all the countries you are qualified for and do some reading. Write down things like travel time in country, cost, post placement requirements, age of children available, length of time for process. Basically anything you find you write down. Once you have a little idea on the difference between country to country see if anything stands out as something you do not like. Like if you specifically want a child at a certain age rule out countries that don't match. Or if you want a quick travel you may want to ask yourself if you can handle staying in coutry for 6 to 7 weeks. Really its your call to make on what you want.

At this point you should be down between one or two countries. Do you feel any sort of connection with one over the other? Now I would just search for country name and adoptions, see what pops up. Also find adoption forums and read what people are saying. Alot of them have the process outlined and can tell you if things are running smoothly or not. I researched this way for about a month getting the exact procedures down for Guatemala. I knew they did DNA testing, about how long it would take, PGN, POA, all the weird abbreviations that go with everything. I also found a ocuple of agencies that I liked by going to their website and seeing what they said about the process.

For example I knew by reading up that Guatemalan children were roughly between 4-6 months when they were brought home. One agencies website was very good but they said the average age for children being brought home was 10-14 months. Thats a pretty big gap, had I not known the avergae I would have thought that was normal.

Also PM people and see if someone can give you an outline of how things work. Lots of people are happy to explain things better and make it more understanable.

[RedOakMomma]

After doing a lot of web research about the different international programs, and reading about different agencies, and even attending a few meetings of the big China agencies, I had it narrowed down to one large China agency (if we qualified for China, which we didn't), and one small Korean agency (if we qualified for Korea, which we did).

I found it helpful to google our adoption agency...their website came up, of course, but so did a lot of mentions of them in message boards, etc. After looking at how they were talked about, I had a good feeling about them (this was after calling them and getting an initial good feeling).

I then asked for names of people who had recently completed adoptions through their Korea program--they gave me a list of 20 couples or so, and we randomly chose a few to call. Rave reviews.

I joined a yahoo group where people had adopted through the agency, and asked for information. Again, helpful and good news.

Also, it's worth mentioning that their website is really crappy...totally homegrown, and not all that well organized. I've seen this written before, and it's worth repeating...some of the worst agencies will have pretty, snazzy websites, and some of the best (small) agencies will have bad ones. When it comes to a web presence in the adoption world, you can't judge the book by it's cover.

Finally, call the agency and get an explanation (and a fact sheet) of their expenses and when they're due. With the agency we chose, $500 is due with various applications right in the beginning....the majority of the cost ($18K) isn't due until after we accept the referral. That's a good sign, that hardly any of the money is requested up front.

Good luck!

[vermonttaylors]

There is a Yahoo group dedicated to adoption agency research. it is primarily for International Adoption. It is entirely dedicated to the parents so if someone is even suspected of being an agency rep, they are asked to leave.

At this point there are very few agencies that they DON'T have the lowdown on. There are files and links and polls dedicated to which agencies are good and bad. lso, you can just ask about an agency and you'll usually get about a dozen e-mails about that agency from other people who have used it. it's a great resource.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption_Agency_Research/

Good Luck!

[Diane B]

I would second the encouragement to do your research. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. For example, the costs for Guatemalan adoptions are pretty standard across the board on the Guatemalan side - if you run into an agency that seems drastically cheaper, you definitely need to inquire carefully about why. Same thing if someone promises to have a child in your arms in some ridiculously shorter amount of time than other agencies seem to be saying, or a children significantly younger than others are saying. Same thing if an agency is reluctant to completely disclose any and all costs and fees up front.

I would ask how long an agency has been in a particular country, how many adoptions a year they do (while bigger is not always better, you want to know that they are actually completing successful adoptions and that they are not on the brink of going out of business.) Also, how much support do they provide during the process? For us, we really wanted to go "full service" and have someone walk us through all of the paperwork in an organized and thorough way. Other agencies are much more "hands off" on that part, so the agency fee might be a little bit less.

We found our agency through word of mouth from friends and acquaintances who had used them. If there's a local group of families who have adopted from a particular country, that can be a great resource for this if you don't know anyone personally. So many aspects of international adoption are beyond the control of the agency, so I think the most important aspect is clear and open communication throughout the process.

[Momma Aimee]

thanks everyone

I am starting to feel empowered.

we KNWO we WILL adopt -- we do not knw WHEN -- but I DO know i want to have a lot of ground work and research done before we are ready -- sow hen we are ready to star the process we are not pushed back 4 to 6 months just trying to "get our heads together"

I appercpate all the answeres. aznd believe me I keep them, for future reference...so don't be too suprirsed to hear from me in 6 month or 12 mont following uyp

AImee