How did you decide to have a homebirth?

[Raven]

How did you hear about home birth?

My mil introduced me - but only after i started going to dr's and then refused b/c they treated me with no respect. :

I was just curious as to how you decided to birth your baby at home...

Thanks...

[cottonwood]

My brother and his wife had had a homebirth (VBAC, illegally in California with lay midwives, no less.) So I knew this was an option, but didn't feel strongly either way (I didn't know one thing about birth.) I started out going to the hospital to see an OB because that is what my insurance covered, but after one visit I knew there was no way I was going back. I mean, I'd never met this person before and here he was sticking his fingers up me while I lay on a narrow hard platform in a cramped room with greenish fluorescent lighting and bad artwork on the walls. It felt very surreal and very wrong.

So when I got back home I started calling around and found myself a midwife!

[annakiss]

I was born at home & my younger sister was born at home, so I just always assumed that I'd have a homebirth too. My mom is a CNM & works at a hospital, but I knew she'd be willing to do our birth at home (she sometimes helps lay midwife friends with homebirths). When I found out I was pregnant, I discussed the idea of a homebirth with DH, who was receptive. Then I did some reading to make sure that I was choosing homebirth for my own reasons as opposed to my mother's. Everything I read made absolute sense and I could never imagine doing it any other way. A woman in my prenatal yoga class continually said that she wasn't brave enough to have a homebirth. My feeling always was that I would be terrified of having a hospital birth.

[Carolinamidwife]

I had my first baby in the hospital amidst the cascade of interventions and my dissatisfaction with his birth led me to do some research. While I did not think I would have another child my research led me to midwifery and then I met a bunch of friends who had their babies at home. It was at that point I found my calling and knew I was destined to become a midwife. So, when I got pregnant during my schooling (I am now 9 weeks along) I knew there was only one birthing place for me!


Amy

[grian]

After a challenging birth center to hospital transfer with my ds I knew that home was where I needed to be in the future. My dd's birth at home was all that I know birth can be.

[JesseMomme]

@

[bloodrayne]

I'm not really sure how I came across the concept. I think I had accidentally run across someone's birth story website and the baby was born at their cabin in the woods somewhere. It was really neat. I think that might be how I got introduced to it. Then I read a bunch of other homebirth type stories and eventually knew it was what I wanted to do.

[blessedmomof3]

I honestly can't remember exactly how I decided! lol I met one lady on the internet who had some of her babies at home..that may have been where I got the desire.

I also delivered my first 2 dd's semi-quickly (5hrs and 3hrs). With my 2nd dd, I had to drive myself to the hospital. When we got there, I was 5cm. LOL So, knowing that I could labor w/o having to jump in the car to go somewhere was VERY appealing. This was the only reason (I think) that my dh agreed to the HB.

[rose]

Believe it or not, I think I first got the idea from watching A Baby Story. They had a show where a woman had a homebirth and I was intrigued. Then I did a search at the library and found Sheila Kitzinger's books. After doing some reading and research on my own (in the library and on the web), I mentioned the idea to DH. He thought it was a great idea. Actually he said some thing along the lines of, "Pregnancy is not an illness and hospitals are a place for sick people. Home sounds good to me!" Both his parents were born at home (although he was born in a hospital), so I wonder if that influenced him at all?...

After we got pregnant, I searched for a midwife that did homebirths. We found one that DH and I both felt a very good connection with and that cemented our decision. We are looking forward to our homebirth this summer!

[Peppamint]

It was a long journey. I considered it very briefly when pregnant with dd, but didn't want it badly enough to convince dh (his mom had six vaginal deliveries, she was unconscious with all of them so she had wonderful deliveries comprised of episiotomies and forceps).

I tried to talk dh into the birthing center 1.5 hrs away, but no go. So I gave up. I ended up being on bedrest at 35w5d for Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (my bp was only 130/80) and then induced at 38w1d. I labored in bed and pushed in the lithomy position. I got a stupid episiotomy and had stitches.

So, the next time around I started working on dh. This time, money was the problem. Our insurance sucks, a hospital birth would cost us the max out of pocket cost of $1750 ($900 ded. + 10% copay)... a homebirth would cost us $1500. However, if I went to a certain OB practice I could have it paid 100% by the state because of our low income.

I chose to shell out $1250 (I switched at 20 weeks, so the midwife gave me a cheaper birth fee) instead because I wanted to birth MY WAY. (BTW, we're refinancing the house to get money to pay the midwife, LOL)

It was the greatest experience. It made up for my traumatic first birth. I labored for a total of four hours, gave birth in a pool in my kitchen, went to bed in my own bed (I love my King Koil!) and snuggled with my ds all day long with no nurses coming to check on my crotch, or give me a shot (MMR) because I'm not immune. :

Seriously though, my second labor did not really hurt until after the midwife broke my water at 9cm. If I had been intending to go to the hospital (30 min away) I wouldn't have made it because I would have either been pushing with unbroken waters, or my water would have broken and I would have had the baby within 20 minutes (just like I did!). No way I'd get into a car while pushing!

I'm hoping that dh will go for one more baby, and midwife and I agree that it will probably be a quick one. My first was 8 hrs, second was 4 hrs and I wasn't even convinced it was real labor until midwife checked me and I was 8cm. Maybe I can hope for a 1-2 hr labor.

[applejuice]

I am the oldest of 9 and I was born at home as were 7 of the remaining 8. I remember that my mom recovered quickly and my friends moms did not. In those days, moms stayed in the hospital for a week, and still they were in bed tired! I wondered what the heck happened in the hospital that those poor women were laid up so long. The c-sec rate was low in the 1950's and 1960's, so it was not surgery they were recuperating from. It was the drugs and other interventions.

I remember being 14 and 17 when the youngest two were born. I helped weigh them and diaper them...it all seemed so normal and natural and very matter of fact.

I also remember being a junior at UCLA in 1974 and I had the first Women's Studies class. The class was interesting, and I met some women who had babies at home with certain doctors in town, one of whom I used when my time came.

My DH remembered when his sister had her children, and he agreed to the HB, because he did not like the way his sister was treated nor how she described the experience.

[Katana]

I originally planned to have ds in the hospital. But after switching OBGYN's twice (once at 2 mo pg and then at 7.5 mo), because of insane interventions and feeling like one of many or just a huge dollar sign, I knew there had to be a better way.

My cousin had two hb's, and both experinces sounded wonderful to me. When I talked to the midwife I would use for ds, everything quieted down inside me and I felt at peace for the first time in 7 months.

[ferdinandthebull]

For a long time, I was sure I would never want children. I think this was largely due to the fact that I thought one had to give birth in a hospital. A friend had a homebirth with a midwife, and for a while that sounded quite do-able to me.

Then as I learned more about birth, including taking a class in grad school taught by a midwife, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with my idea of a homebirth with a midwife. It all just seemed too invasive to me to have someone there with whom I wasn't intimate.

Later that year I read Laura Shanley's article in Midwifery Today, and I KNEW that UC was the way for me. For the first time in my life my heart felt at ease with the idea of giving birth.

Now I can't wait to have children

[indigolilybear]

I was always interested in the mysteries of women's bodies--fertility, pregnancy, etc. and occassionally thought about becoming an OB when younger. I remember picking up "Conscious Conception" by Jeannine Parvati Baker book at a new age book store while I was in college (I"m now a Hygieia student of hers) and reading it, putting it down and thinking,"Oh my god! This is just *too* far out!!!" LOL I also remember getting "our bodies, ourselves" and they heavily support HB.

after I graduated college, I lived in Korea for a while where I spent a lot of time on-line researching potential "next steps" for me career wise after DH adn I returned to the states. I seriously considered becoming a MW. But it felt wrong to me since I hadn't experienced birth/preg. yet. One day, I went back to our room and said to DH, "when we have kids, I want to birth them at home, okay?" and he shrugged, and said "sure". I jsut remember reading Laura SHanley's birth stories too and thinking it sounded interesting but I'd never be able to do a freebirth! LOL. I wasn't even sure I could really go through w/a HB and thought I'd just wait and see how I felt when I got preg. Well, when I got pregnant, one year after returning home, I felt even MORE confident taht I wanted a HB and took that to be a good sign.

[melixxa]

I just made the switch from an OBGYN practice to a midwife about three weeks ago (I am now 32 weeks along). The more time went by, the less confident I felt about the practice, which revolves 4 OBs so you never know which one will show up at your birth. I hadn't even met two of the OBs, and the appts. there were pitifully short and rushed. No one ever bothered to talk to me about my nutrition (and thus never even knew I am vegetarian). But mainly, I felt more and more apprehensive about going to the hospital as time went by. I already knew that I wanted a natural birth with no interventions if at all possible. I really doubted that would be supported completely even in the local hospital, which by all accounts is comparatively quite progressive very open to doulas and the like. Just didn't like the idea of having to *go* to the hospital, have a hep lock put in, deal with complete strangers popping their heads in to tell me what to do, etc.

I found a midwife who is probably more experienced than all the OBs at my old practice combined, having been in practice for over 20 years, the last 11 of them legally. My best friend had three great homebirths, the second of which I had the honor to attend. That really set up the whole homebirth-over-hospital preference in my mind. I just didn't know if I could do it where I live, since we're in the mountains (about 30 mins. from the hospital), I'm 38 years old and pregnant with my first baby (due 7/114) and and also I have HSVII. IT turns out that all these potential complications are just that - potential. I am feeling so good about my decision to be at home that my stress level has plummeted - and what could be a better condition for an upcoming birth and less chance of an outbreak? I couldn't be more excited.

p.s. longtime lurker - this is my first post!

[Sustainer]

I grew up listening to my mother's hospital birth horror stories:

http://greenhat.5u.com/photo6.html

(She doesn't refer to me by name, but as her "second child" and as her "daughter, born in 1975.")

As soon as I discovered that I had options, I started exploring them. The more I read about homebirth and the Midwives Model of Care, the more right it seemed to me. The more I read about hospital birth and the Medical Model of Care, the more I wanted to avoid it. By the time I started trying to conceive, I knew that home was the only place for my birth, and that I wouldn't give birth in a hospital if someone offered me a million dollars. Midwifery is illegal in my state, so even though I started looking for a midwife at least a year before I conceived, I didn't find one until I was five months pregnant. By that time I was getting pretty desperate, and I started reading books about unassisted birth. I didn't want to do it that way, at least not for my first, but I definitely would have chosen that over hospital birth. Thank goodness I finally found a wonderful midwife and I had an amazing homebirth:

http://devrock.5u.com/whats_new.html

[RainCityMama]

A terrible intervention filled birth experience that ended in an unnecessary c-section is what led me to homebirth

My mom had both my sister and I drug free in a hospital and I Naively thought that I too could do the same 27 years later

So when my birth turned out so awful I began to research and find as much information as possible on having a VBAC - then I read a wonderful article about HBAC, in Mothering Magazine no less , and from that moment on I knew that the only way I could be left alone to birth the way I KNEW I could was to never leave my home!

It was absolutely fantastic!

[zebrabelly]

Long story.... You guys don't know me, but I have some free time (with my baby girl sleeping in my arms) so I decided to pop in over here, hope that's ok!

Homebirth was never totally alien to me - I had always known someone here or there who had been born at home, maybe three or four friends throughout my life. However, I was still of the thought that "so many things can go wrong," so I believed that when I had babies they would be born at the hospital (I bragged about how I'd get the epi early on, even! : ) and I figured I'd probably have to have c-sections cause my mom did, etc. Well, that's not entirely true, when I was young (13 or so) I always said I wanted 10 babies all born unmedicated underwater, but as I became older, for some reason I moved away from that ideal.

A few years ago, I met a friend who introduced me to her best friend who was all about AP and natural parenting. It appealed to my original sense of self and I started heading back to what I had believed when I was a kid.

So, when I got pregnant, I knew I wanted a natural birth and I knew I wanted a midwife, but I was adamant that I would be uncomfortable giving birth in my small apartment. So, while I was looking for a midwife or a birth center birth, I went ahead and assigned myself to a doctor just to get some sort of prenatal care. They gave me ultrasounds at every appointment, of course. When I began discussing natural labor w/ this doctor (in case I judt decided to stay there) she told me I could have a natural labor but she'd have to give me a shot of pitocin afterwards in case I bled to death or something like that. I knew I wasn't sticking there. So after much more doctor trauma and switching around trying to find the right one for me, and not finding any, it came down to a decision: If I wanted a gentle, natural birth I would have to pay for it myself, either at the birth center, or at home. Both options cost about as much, and I was warming up to the idea of a homebirth. I made the final decision to have a homebirth because the birth center has such rigid policies (only birth between 38-40 wks, no labors longer than 24hrs, etc) I was afraid I'd get risked out to a hospital. I was born three weeks late and my mom was in labor for over 24 hours. When I began talking to midwives, the one I chose mentioned she had been with moms in labor for DAYS, and as late as 43 weeks. This was music to my ears: someone trusted my body to labor they way it was made to!

So, that was how it happened. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I can't believe I ever considered anything else and I can't believe I thought I'd be more comfortable somewhere besides my own home! I literally thank God for making up my mind the way he did. Anyway, it was a good idea that I didn't go to the hospital or the BC b/c while Margie came early (four days), I did labor for 30 hours and I pushed for 2.5 hours. I am sure that, had I been in a hospital w/o someone who trusted my body, I would have had a c-section. Yay for homebirth!

Bonnie
Mommy to Marjorie Julieta, 4/24/02

[TrinitysMama]

With my first pregnancy, I started doing a lot of research on birth. It was pretty much understood that I would be having an episiotomy because everyone has them and everyone "needs" them. I decided that I wasn't going to let anyone carve up my vagina for no good reason. Then I started hearing about c-section rates and decided that I wasn't going to have one of those either. I started researching and found out that a birth plan would be a big help. I put together an birth plan and decided what I wanted and didn't want.

I told my OB at the next visit that I wanted to discuss a birth plan with him. He said that normally he doesn't discuss a birth plan until 38 weeks. He asked me why I wanted a birth plan. I told him that I do not want an episiotomy and that they are normally unnecessary. He laughed and said, "No first time mom can birth an 8 pound baby without tearing and it;s easier to sew up a straight cut than to repair a jagged tear."

I told him at the next appointment that I needed my chart because I would be transferring to the care of CNM's at a birth center. He looked pretty irritated, but I didn't really care.

I switched to the CNM's at 6 months. I was looking forward to the freedom of delivering the way that I wanted to. They had a beautiful birth center and I thought it would be so cool to have my baby there. It turns out that they were really no better than OB's. My baby died and the CNM's abandoned me. They transfered me to the care of an OB that I had never met. I went through a hospital delivery without any support from them at all. (I found out since that they have a horrible reputation and a high transfer and c-section rate.)

When we decided to get pregnant again, I started interviewing midwives. I decided that I didn't want to deal with CNM's again because they were no better than the OB that I had before. I also wanted to be able to labor in the comfort of my own home. The idea of packing up to go anywhere during labor just didn't sound good.

I found my midwife and we hit it off instantly. I called her the day that I got a positive pregnancy test. She supported me throughout my entire pregnancy. She helped me get through it with all of the fears I had after losing my first baby.

I ended up having a beautiful homebirth with my husband, my midwife, her assistant, and my friend all there supporting me. It was great and I wouldn't ever do it any other way.

All the drugs that a hospital has to offer still don't make up for the loss of control when you choose to deliver in a hospital. I was in complete control of my labor and birth. I didn't have to deal with anyone ordering me around. I got to do whatever I wanted. My daughter was born in my own bed. I didn't have to do anything afterwards. My baby never left my side. It was exactly what I needed.

[Wooby]

We decided on a home birth with this baby because I had educated myself so much on the topic, felt really right about having more control/comfort at my own house, and have a wonderful midwife in our area. I am really looking forward to the experience!