Who wouldn't be personally offended to read that another person thought what you fed your infant was poison? Or, as one thread put it, ff is comparable to child abuse. That's pretty offensive in my book. I'm not offended by encouraging moms to bf (quite the opposite), but I've NEVER understood the need to demonize ff to do so.
And yes, I guess I do like formula and bottles because they nourished my baby when he needed nourishment. And yes, he thrived and at 4.5yo he's still thriving. My milkless boobs just don't compare.
I don't hate formula and I don't hate bottles. I induced lactation for DD#2, nursed her exclusively with a Lact-Aid for 6 solid months (only had about 50 drops of milk every time I pumped), promote breastfeeding to those moms to "choose" to use formula, and even with DD#1 she got breastmilk (in a bottle) for about 2 solid months thanks to a wonderful friend of ours who had an over the top milk supply. I am all for breastmilk and I do think it's superior to formula. I am glad that my 2 children at least got the benefits of some human milk.
However, for me personally, I bonded more quickly and much deeper with my bottlefed/formulafed DD#1. I believe this happened because of my 4 year struggle with infertility and how thankful I was to finally have her in my arms. She made me a mommy and she holds a very special place in my heart.
Those 6 months of nursing DD#2 with a LA was miserable. The first few weeks seemed ok and I was gung ho about it. The LA was horribly fumbly, frustrating, and not fun for either of us. In fact, I think nursing her actually damaged our bond during those months because we were both so frustrated. I actually sometimes regret the choice I made to nurse her.
I was a part of a local AP moms group that all BF and I basically was trying to meet their standards of what a "real" mom was. My body had already failed me as a woman (infertility) and I thought that if I could only nurse my child and have milk flowing from my breasts I could be like them....."real" moms.
Looking back, I now realize how wrong I was to let these mothers make me feel this way. And that is really what the lactivist board on MDC does to me. It's also why I have been so deeply hurt by Mothering Magazine and cancelled my gift subscription. It reminds me that my body failed me and it's hurtful as a mother to 3 beautiful adopted girls. I realize that they (the lactivists) have a cause, blah, blah, blah, but I have also read some seriously hurtful things there (I've seen the poison thing more than once). I have also seen mods on that board caution women when they get a little too lactivist-y. When I have defended myself I am either flat out ignored or basically told to butt out with the "We are not referring to adoptive moms". I think only on several occassions have I had a mom applaud my efforts at induced lactation. When I see people bashing formula and bottles, it's personal.
Therefore, I agree with EFMom when she said:
|I have to admit that I think some of the extremely over the top people think that we aren't "real mothers."|