Excited and Scared;)

[goodygumdrops]

Hello everyone,
TMI,probably too long and overdue 4 days
Well I think I may be slowly starting labor....yesterday I had diarrhea and a few painful, wrap around the back contractions. Nothing regular....I just feel like something is definitely starting. Today my lower back is really sore and I've had a few contractions.
Today I was thinking I should go for a walk to get things moving...but I
I realize that while I've been waiting for this for weeks...I'm also pretty scared about it.
We are having a home birth..I've taken amazing childbirth classes....amazing doula and midwives. My rational mind really wants to experiance this at home but I guess I still have some fear of not being able to handle the pain. My close friend recently had a beautiful water birth....and it really gives me inspiration to think of her story...but I still can't deny that I am scared....
Or rather, I go back and forth.....one minute I feel like this is the most amazing natural experiance...I have faith in my body. But then I think...holy s#$t..this is going to be rough.
Anyway, I just needed to vent. I'm going for a walk....I feel the most contractions when I'm standing up.

[ibusymomto5]

That's exactly how I feel just before I go into labor. In fact, although I've had 5 natural and beautiful homebirths I always get this feeling of trepidation and doubt as the due date grows closer. I'm just like you in that I tend to teeter between being positive and having a "Bring it on" attitude to the total opposite feeling of "Oh my gosh! I have to do this all by myself and I don't wanna!!" I think it's totally natural to have scared feelings about how you'll handle the intensity of labor, but rest assured you WILL be able to handle labor. Remind yourself that millions of women have been giving birth since the beginning of time and that your body was beautifully designed to give birth. It's hard work for sure, but you CAN do it and you will be so glad you did afterwards.

One thing that helps me stay relaxed and focused through labor is to just think of it as taking one contraction/surge at a time. Relaxing as much as you possibly can during each contraction really, really is the key to making the most out of your labor. You can start practicing now with any warm up contractions you might be having.

Best wishes on a great birth! You'll be holding your little sweetie before you know it.

[timneh_mom]

It will be ok!! Remember that your body was meant to do this and whatever happens, you will handle it! It sounds like you have done a lot of REALLY great things already to be in place to help you cope with labor, and once you've been through it, you will realize what an absolute blessing (and a high!!) it is to see your chlid's face for the first time. It's a moment you will not forget for the rest of your life! It is worth every second!

It is a journey that will change you as a woman forever, but it is definitely worthwhile! Hang in there, I know you will do beautifully!

[MoonWillow]

Gavin'smom I could have written your post. I feel the same way. I don't think I'm in labor but I go between being super excited to downright TERRIFIED.
So thank you for posting because I am soaking up these responses too.

[goodygumdrops]

Hi again,
Thank so much for all the kind words....it really helps to vent and know I'm not the only one going through this.
Hopefully we'll have this baby by the weekend. I am having some major back pain.....no regular contractions though. Just waiting to dive into the active labor!!

[preggymeaggy]

Thanks for posting your thread! I totally feel the same way. I am not planning a homebirth, but feel really great about my midwife and the care I am anticipating at the hospital. I've heard really great things!
I get those teeter totter feelings all the time. I go from "I am rested and strong....I will trust my body and give birth to a beautiful baby!" to "Oh my god! I am going to push this baby out of my vagina!!! And I have no idea when it will start, how long it will last, or how much pain I will be in." But thankfully the latter tends to be short lived. I just breath a long deep breath and decide that my feelings must be normal. Thank god they are!!

[DreamsInDigital]

I always go back and forth between excited and scared. It's totally normal and okay to be scared.

[MoonWillow]

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[heartandhandsdoula]

Gavinsmom, the thing that helped me during my labor was just to welcome the contractions, never wish them away. You want to have this baby and contractions are the only thing that will get it out! Welcome them and don't look at them like they are pain but working really well, after most of mine I would say or at the end of labor just think "these are great! they are working so well and are super strong and they are bringing me closer to baby". I didn't have pain until the end where is was super intense, I think keeping positive is key. GOod luck and remember you were meant to do this, of course you can handle it, you are strong!

[ibusymomto5]

Originally Posted by heartandhandsdoula

Gavinsmom, the thing that helped me during my labor was just to welcome the contractions, never wish them away. You want to have this baby and contractions are the only thing that will get it out! Welcome them and don't look at them like they are pain but working really well, after most of mine I would say or at the end of labor just think "these are great! they are working so well and are super strong and they are bringing me closer to baby". I didn't have pain until the end where is was super intense, I think keeping positive is key. GOod luck and remember you were meant to do this, of course you can handle it, you are strong!

That is so true! So much of it is mind over matter, isn't it?