Breastfeeding Custody Case...

[LadyButler]

Just thought this was of interest. I had never thought about this before...

http://www.wcbd.com/midatlantic/cbd/...2-09-0026.html

[jarynsmom06]

How terrible. I would die if I had to be away from DS at night much less a week. I however am torn about this. I mean a baby needs it's mother no doubt but the baby also needs a father. I would think the best thing to do is work something out to where the baby is always with the mom at night but with dad during the day. He may work but I think the baby needs mama at night and he should change his work schedule I feel bad for anyone that would have to go through this at all. It's tough enough to seperate but when you are a breastfeeding mother.....oh it makes me wanna cry to think that DS would not be with me at night.

[*mama moose*]

I feel so bad for that mama, I would be so heartbroken if I had to be seperated from DD, especially while she was still a nursling. :

[velcromom]

That's horrible, what a nightmare it would be as a mother to be separated from your baby like that. I hope this does not set a trend that spreads.

[frenchie]

I feel bad for neither parent....I feel bad for the baby. If I got a court ruling like that, I'd do whatever I had to do, to live within minutes of my child. I don't understand parents that live hours away from their children!!! It just baffles me to no end. I recently read an article that reprted about some service that transports children of divorced parents, so the parents don't have to make the "long boring drive" from one city to another. The child in the story had parents that lived 3 HOURS apart. It just infuriates me.....but I digress.
It's unfortunate that the baby is being tossed back and forth from one parent to another. The baby does need his father as much as he needs his mother. I hope she is pumping regularly while her baby is with dad so that he still gets BM. If the parents could pull their heads out of their butts for a minute, they just might realize a different living situation (logisitcally) would be in the best interest of their child.

[velcromom]

True. I hated the title - about the mom's right to breastfeed - because it made very clear that this is being looked at completely wrong: it is not about the mother's right to breastfeed, it's about the baby's right to breastfeed.

[Anglyn]

That poor baby! He is going through grief and loss every time they trade him back and forth. He is far too young to realize mom or dad is still around even when not with him for a week at a time. Its paramount to child abuse IMO. Why can't dad just visit him during the daytime until he is old enough for overnights without the trauma?

It absolutely drives me crazy the way we only care about "parental rights" in this country. When will we ever care about childrens rights?

[JustJamie]

Originally Posted by frenchie

I feel bad for neither parent....I feel bad for the baby. If I got a court ruling like that, I'd do whatever I had to do, to live within minutes of my child. I don't understand parents that live hours away from their children!!! It just baffles me to no end. I recently read an article that reprted about some service that transports children of divorced parents, so the parents don't have to make the "long boring drive" from one city to another. The child in the story had parents that lived 3 HOURS apart. It just infuriates me.....but I digress.
It's unfortunate that the baby is being tossed back and forth from one parent to another. The baby does need his father as much as he needs his mother. I hope she is pumping regularly while her baby is with dad so that he still gets BM. If the parents could pull their heads out of their butts for a minute, they just might realize a different living situation (logisitcally) would be in the best interest of their child.

This is really thoughtless. Perhaps the parents each live where they can find work, or live in areas they can afford. Perhaps each parent lives with their own parents. The article doesn't say.

My own parents divorced when I was 18 months old, and have lived 4 hours apart my entire life - one in St. Louis, one in Kansas City. Why? Because Mom had a home in St. Louis (with my grandma) and could therefore afford to take a lower-wage part-time job while she went through chemotherapy and earned a paralegal certificate. My dad also had a home in Kansas City, with his parents, so that he could also work parttime and complete a degree, and be better able to provide for his kids.

Was it the ideal situation? No. Did they each do what was best for their kids? Absolutely.

Unless you know both parents personally and intimately, you have no right to judge their choice to live an hour away from each other.

[Turkish Kate]

Originally Posted by velcromom

True. I hated the title - about the mom's right to breastfeed - because it made very clear that this is being looked at completely wrong: it is not about the mother's right to breastfeed, it's about the baby's right to breastfeed.

This isn't about the parents' rights, this should be about what is in the best interest of the child, which is clearly maintaining the nursing relationship. What a shame that the court and the father can't see that.

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

This is really thoughtless. Perhaps the parents each live where they can find work, or live in areas they can afford. Perhaps each parent lives with their own parents. The article doesn't say.

My own parents divorced when I was 18 months old, and have lived 4 hours apart my entire life - one in St. Louis, one in Kansas City. Why? Because Mom had a home in St. Louis (with my grandma) and could therefore afford to take a lower-wage part-time job while she went through chemotherapy and earned a paralegal certificate. My dad also had a home in Kansas City, with his parents, so that he could also work parttime and complete a degree, and be better able to provide for his kids.

Was it the ideal situation? No. Did they each do what was best for their kids? Absolutely.

Unless you know both parents personally and intimately, you have no right to judge their choice to live an hour away from each other.

We'll have to just agree to disagree.

[intorainbowz]

Originally Posted by frenchie

We'll have to just agree to disagree.

:

Glad to see that my usually backwards state is one of 3 which takes breastfeeding into account in these cases.

[PJJ]

Disagree

This is really thoughtless. Perhaps the parents each live where they can find work, or live in areas they can afford. Perhaps each parent lives with their own parents. The article doesn't say.

My own parents divorced when I was 18 months old, and have lived 4 hours apart my entire life - one in St. Louis, one in Kansas City. Why? Because Mom had a home in St. Louis (with my grandma) and could therefore afford to take a lower-wage part-time job while she went through chemotherapy and earned a paralegal certificate. My dad also had a home in Kansas City, with his parents, so that he could also work parttime and complete a degree, and be better able to provide for his kids.

Was it the ideal situation? No. Did they each do what was best for their kids? Absolutely. Unless you know both parents personally and intimately, you have no right to judge their choice to live an hour away from each other.
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It is great that you feel that way about your parents sacrifices. However, it I heard this story from a friend or told about it in my family, I would think that it is obvious that an education and money are what is perceived what is best for the family in mainstream society, despite the separation of the children and parents. Sounds like the parents were provided for by their parents, but was the toddler?

From this post to not judge, it is obvious that you are sensitive to this and are being judgmental to the poster who thinks living far away from your children is wrong. I have to agree that I think so too as my parents did not live close to each other after divorce and it was MOST selfish of them to me and my brother, since their reasons were monetary too. And yes, money still matters more than we do.

[annettemarie]

Ladies, let's focus on the Lactivism issues at hand rather than whether or not the parents made a poor choice in where to reside. That would make this more News and Current Events than Lactivism. Thanks!