When educated people say they are going to FF - Page 3

[guest9921]

A friends exwife does not want to breastfeed, because she doesn't want to 'ruin her nipples.'

And one would ask - "ruin them for what? This is what they're for."

[momuveight2B]

I just don't get these people. They are the ones that are hiring interior designers to do the nursery, "only the best will do" as they register and shop for $1000 strollers, car seats, bedding sets and so on. But when it comes to breastfeeding they have no plan at all or will make a minimal attempt and then state it didn't work out. Baby was too hungry, couldn't make enough milk and I just couldn't cope because he wanted to be on me all the time!:

[annettemarie]

Ladies, let's please keep the Lactivism forum guidelines in mind while posting. This is the final reminder.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=496798

Positive action occurs when we seek solutions and act for change. Rather than pointing our fingers at individuals and judging, Lactivists seek to create a systemic change that challenges the general acceptance of formula feeding and guides mothers towards breastfeeding as a cultural norm.

The Lactivism forum is not intended to be a place where MDCers to bash mothers who are formula feeding. It is understandable that lactivists become frustrated over the mainstream formula feeding culture. Criticizing ideas, campaigns, and actions that negatively impact breastfeeding are all acceptable forms of lactivism. Name calling, criticizing individuals, or attacking women who choose to formula feed as a group are not.

[songbh]

Originally Posted by momuveight2B

I just don't get these people. They are the ones that are hiring interior designers to do the nursery, "only the best will do" as they register and shop for $1000 strollers, car seats, bedding sets and so on. But when it comes to breastfeeding they have no plan at all or will make a minimal attempt and then state it didn't work out. Baby was too hungry, couldn't make enough milk and I just couldn't cope because he wanted to be on me all the time!:

I don't think most women who feed their babies formula buy $1000 strollers etc.

In fact, statistics are quite clear that the wealthier segment of the population is more likely to breastfeed, and to breastfeed longer, than average.

Is there a less sweeping and more constructive way to say what you meant by this post?

For example, how does this sound:

"I feel really frustrated when I see mothers claim they want only the best for their baby, but then they stop breastfeeding after just a few weeks. What could we do as lactivists to help more mothers turn their loving intentions into successful breastfeeding?"

What do you all think about this "revision" of the above post? Would more comments like this move the discussion forward in a positive and more practically useful way?

[boobybunny]

I was sexually abused from a very early age by my father.

AT times, my two year old son brings back issues... mostly when I am not quite awake and he is insisting on nursing, and not taking no for an answer. My husband steps in then and offers comfort, cause at that point I can not. This new development has happened only as the baby became more of a person.

But, breastfeeding, having a child, and being proactive as a mom has helped me heal even more.

I am not saying "if I can do it anyone can." Just adding some probably worthless information.

[G8P4]

But, breastfeeding, having a child, and being proactive as a mom has helped me heal even more.

I am not saying "if I can do it anyone can." Just adding some probably worthless information.

Your information was so very valuable. Because it's based on real experience. I think you are awesome.

[guest9921]

Originally Posted by G8P4

Your information was so very valuable. Because it's based on real experience. I think you are awesome.

I agree with this.

Nothing worthless about anything you said- in fact, I think you gave us another real life example of how it can affect another - and really plants a seed in me, as I have it 'so easy.'

Helps me become a better person, and leave my judgement (something I'm trying to banish) out of it.

Thanks for sharing.

[shmoo]

Originally Posted by songbh

I don't think most women who feed their babies formula buy $1000 strollers etc.

In fact, statistics are quite clear that the wealthier segment of the population is more likely to breastfeed, and to breastfeed longer, than average.

Is there a less sweeping and more constructive way to say what you meant by this post?

For example, how does this sound:

"I feel really frustrated when I see mothers claim they want only the best for their baby, but then they stop breastfeeding after just a few weeks. What could we do as lactivists to help more mothers turn their loving intentions into successful breastfeeding?"

What do you all think about this "revision" of the above post? Would more comments like this move the discussion forward in a positive and more practically useful way?

: :

I love this post! Thank you.

[momuveight2B]

Originally Posted by songbh

I don't think most women who feed their babies formula buy $1000 strollers etc.

In fact, statistics are quite clear that the wealthier segment of the population is more likely to breastfeed, and to breastfeed longer, than average.

Is there a less sweeping and more constructive way to say what you meant by this post?

For example, how does this sound:

"I feel really frustrated when I see mothers claim they want only the best for their baby, but then they stop breastfeeding after just a few weeks. What could we do as lactivists to help more mothers turn their loving intentions into successful breastfeeding?"

What do you all think about this "revision" of the above post? Would more comments like this move the discussion forward in a positive and more practically useful way?

Sure I can revise it. I don't care if you buy a $1000 stroller. I'd rather you not buy one at all. I tend to come into contact with moms who have a lot of money, education and access to things that many parents can't afford or do without. However these moms want the very best for their babies starting with having designer everything, the best doctors, the best birth centers, the best of everything but when it comes to making choices about how they will feed their babies they run past the best and buy the best bottles, nipples, pacifiers and DHA enhanced formulas. These moms can easily afford lactation consultants to come into their homes, doulas, breast pumps if needed or whatever. If they do nurse then six weeks is tops, a really radical mom will go to three months. They have nannies and have already registered their kids in the best preschools before birth. For these moms getting back to a size 2, breast lifts and whatever else it takes to fit their designer image appears to be top priority.

These moms are educated, they have every opportunity so how do we present breastfeeding in a way that appeals to them. They don't want to ruin their figures or be tied down at home. They don't want to be a human pacifier with a baby attached to their breast all day. Of course their are rich educated women who nurse like Kate Winslet who also happens to be a beautiful size 6 and the media calls her fat! These women are against a lot of pressure to be thin and beautiful.

I had one tell me one day as I was nursing my six month old baby (she didn't know i nursed my twins past five), "You have to wean before they're a year because I saw a mom at my son's school the other day and can you believe she was nursing a three year old and the child was tearing her shirt off of her and demanding to nurse right there in front of the class! It was so disgusting!" I tried my best to gently inform her but no luck at all.

That is the perception that needs to change.

[songbh]

Originally Posted by momuveight2B

I tend to come into contact with moms who have a lot of money, education and access to things that many parents can't afford or do without. ...(snip)... For these moms getting back to a size 2, breast lifts and whatever else it takes to fit their designer image appears to be top priority.

These moms are educated, they have every opportunity so how do we present breastfeeding in a way that appeals to them.

Thanks for these details and your further thoughts. I agree that it is important to understand what different women's priorities and perceived needs are so that we can work on more effective ways to present breastfeeding to everyone.

These women are against a lot of pressure to be thin and beautiful.

This is an important observation, and I really like that you can see the problem compassionately, from their point of view.