Do you ever get a break from being with the kids all day?

[mama2cntrykids]

Even now just being a sahm and NOT hsing yet, I'm getting burnt/wore out. I told my dh the other day, "I'm just going back to work!!". He said, "Ok, if that's what you want to do". But, that's not really what I want to do. I think I just need time to myself and right now I can't have it b/c dh is trying very hard to get our bathroom back together (our pipes froze and burst).

Some days I even go back and forth with myself about if HSing is something that I really want to do? It's like one min. I'm thinking, "yeah, great, I'm really looking forward to hsing!", the next min. "man, this stinks, i'm having a hard time just being with them all day, forget hsing!".

Am I the only one who has these feelings??? It's back and forth with me all day long, seriously. Geez, it would just be better emotionally if my dh and I could make up our minds (well, mainly me b/c dh says it's up to me wheather we hs or not.

Ok, sorry, I really went off on a rant and rave and veared from my topic:. I just am SOOO confused/frustrated most days, kwim?

Thanks for letting me get that out there!

[aishy]

If all you are doing all the time is caring for your children, household, family you will get burned out. It is so so important to find something for you, and take time for you.

a hobby, a class, a bookclub, something you can do about once a week will help SO much. And if you can carve out a half hour to hour in the evening to work on whatever hobby too that helps (after kiddos bedtime is when my time comes).

With a nursling - I started knitting a few years ago. I found a knitting group that meets weekly (even Holiday weeks, though if it falls on a Tuesday we move our knit night to another evening that week) And as soon as baby was born she came (still comes a lot of the time, she is almost 16 months) with me. Even if I couldn't knit much I go meet with my group and talk!! About grown up stuff! It is so nice.

I never did anything much for myself before that, well really before I went to work nights, and it was right when I stopped working (pregnant, my belly kept getting in the way and I was achy all the time and sick of being on my feet) that I found the knitting group.

aisling

[moominmamma]

I don't really get a break, and I don't really need one. However, it's taken a lot of work over the years to get to the point where I don't feel I'm missing something ... personal work within myself, grounding myself, acceptance, mindfulness, and all that, and also relationship work within our family so that the kids and I are able to all live together, respecting each others' needs and living gently and easily amongst each other. I get my breaks 'in the moment', 'with the kids', or wherever I can grab a few minutes' peace. Some of my favourite breaks are times I spend quietly appreciating my children through observation and conversation.

It was much much harder when they were all younger. Once I only had one under 6, life got much easier. I found I was able to pursue things that nurtured my soul with my kids along for the ride. Like, I can read, or sew, or practice my viola now, and while I do these thigns no one is busy mixing baby powder and toothpaste, or pushing forks into electrical outlets.

In all fairness I should admit that I do work out of the home one half-day a week; however, my work is emotionally taxing for me (I'm a family doc to a bunch of pretty needy patients, and being an introvert it's tough for me to be out there dealing with other people in that full-on way). I think that this 'break' from the kids actually adds stress on balance, but I might be wrong. Perhaps it's actually making it easier for me to cope with being a parent every other hour of my life -- who knows?

Miranda

[Dakota's Mom]

I have a very busy four year old. By the end of the day all I want is a few minutes to myself. I lock myself in the bathroom during the day sometimes just to have five minutes. But even then he is pounding on the door yelling for me. When DH comes home I just want him to take him for a few minutes. Unfortunantly he just wants to sit and rest. If I say anything he just says, "You chose this." He's no help at all. I try to talk to as many other moms as I can at the outings we go on. It helps.

Kathi

[Aurie]

I was a SAHM for nearly 4 years. It drove me batty! But I can't stand to be away from my kids either... ACK! Talk about conflicted!

I started working part-time when DH wasn't working (ie he worked m-f and I worked s-s). When DH lost his job, I didn't have a choice but either work fulltime at a dead end job or go back to school. I went to school for nursing and am back to being home m-f and working on s-s.

It really is the perfect balance for me. By Friday I need a break from the family. By Sunday evening I miss them all so horribly, I am ready to go again.

I know that this isn't for everyone. I was just letting you know what works for me. It really has been great for the kids and homeschooling is working too!

[2much2luv]

It is so important that you get the things you need beyond the physcial things. I have times like that, times when I am worn out to my core, so disappointed and full of doubts, when I wonder why in the heck we are homeschooling. : I am always able to work through those times, figure out what's missing or what's going wrong and start working to fix it. I know I will have days like that now and again but I can really head them off by being proactive in taking care of my emotional, mental and spiritual needs. I know I'm blessed to have a supportive husband who works to give me the time off I need.
I also suffer from depression off and on and in the midst of a bout with depression almost every day is full of those doubts and insecurities. It helps, now that I know about my situational depression, for me to acknowledge the fact that depression is often what is wrong and that the depression my mind harbors is making things seem worse than they are. It doesn't fix the problems but it helps me to get a handle on the panicky feelings I get. This might have no relevance to you, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

[mama2cntrykids]

Originally Posted by Aurie

I was a SAHM for nearly 4 years. It drove me batty! But I can't stand to be away from my kids either... ACK! Talk about conflicted!

I started working part-time when DH wasn't working (ie he worked m-f and I worked s-s). When DH lost his job, I didn't have a choice but either work fulltime at a dead end job or go back to school. I went to school for nursing and am back to being home m-f and working on s-s.

It really is the perfect balance for me. By Friday I need a break from the family. By Sunday evening I miss them all so horribly, I am ready to go again.

I know that this isn't for everyone. I was just letting you know what works for me. It really has been great for the kids and homeschooling is working too!

I'm beginning to think this is what *I* need as well. I'm like that too, half the time it drives me batty being with the kids 24/7, but when I'm not with them, I miss them

Dh and I have talked about me going to work full-time nights, maybe that would be a solution. Or better yet, if I could find a job working p/t nights.

Thank you ladies for replying.: