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Originally Posted by vancouverlori
 Thank you all for your varying thoughts on this.
Emily isn't obese - so far she still looks quite healthy. In fact, I think she seems to still be hovering around a size 4 or 6, while I'm 10 to 12ish.  I'm fairly certain that most of her weight "advantage"  over me is muscle - I haven't got much of that since I had my 2nd and haven't had time for regular exercise.I guess maybe what I'm doing mentally is responding to the changes in her body the same as I do to changes in mine. When I notice that I'm getting a little hippier and that my pants are getting too small, I start to cut out junk and try to eat a little better and get in a few evening dancing sessions. Is that weird or unhealthy behaviour? I don't think so, but I'm never sure. It's become such a loaded issue. I'm starting to feel that some of the "beautiful at any size" is a bit of a "self-esteem trick" that doesn't really seem to work. Yes, you may be beautiful, but you can still be really uncomfortable and unhealthy and feel bad about it, no matter how much someone tells you. I have a friend who, at 6' tall, weighed nearly 400lbs. She finally tried Curves combined with healthier eating habits (after trying many other things) and has successfully lost over 100 lbs. She feels so much better - her knees don't hurt anymore - and she got herself a bike and now bikes all over the city. She has developed great confidence in her amazing muscular strength and has started trying things she never would have before - like the karate class she did last summer. And she was incredibly beautiful (she's often compared to a goddess) all that time anyway, and she knew it, but she still felt it necessary to lose weight. My main reason for bringing up these thoughts is that at this point I'm just in a watchful waiting period - my flags are up, but I'm not concerned so much about the status quo as I am about the pattern I'm seeing. And I'm just not sure about how to approach the issue. I've seen my sister (also beautiful) struggle with her weight all these years and feel self-conscious about it, and I want to help Emily avoid it rather than dealing with it after the fact. It would help if we had more communication and cooperation, but Emily is in a bit of a defiant/anti-adult phase these days. Not bad defiant, just never wants to do anything we want her to do, and mostly tries to ignore us and not talk to us as much as possible.  : She won't join in on our "dancing sessions" (but me and DS have a jolly crazy time). And while I am tempted to see if I can get her to join me in going back to the gym or something - I think this would mostly result in more eyerolling.anyhoodles, that's where my brain is at tonight, -Lori |
I made that decision when my dd was just a toddler and I noticed her body being built much like my husbands family. I have tried very hard to change the kinds of foods I buy and make it normal for our family to make healthy snack and dinner choices daily.
My daughter has embraced many fruits and vegetables and is a pretty diverse eater, so she does quite well. After any kind of kid friendly snack like a granola bar, or cheddar bunnies, her choices are fruits and raw vegetables and at 3 years old, she accepts and willingly gets those things from the kitchen if she is hungry.
My ds is a bit pickier, so often he chooses to not eat and wait till dinner, but he does like bananas, applesauce and raisins, so he has choices.
I think just changing what you have in the house, and making the rules for the whole family would be helpfull. I dont want my daughter to be unhappy and struggle with her weight, so I have tried to teach her healthy eating. My response to the kids if they ask "why cant i have" I say "because its not healthy for your body" whether its watchign too much tv, or eating too much junk, its about being healthy.
