very basic domestic adoption questions

[lucysmom]

A dear friend is considering adoption. She is 42 & lives in NYC. She has the impression that she will not be allowed to adopt a child from the US from outside of New York state. I have never heard of such a restriction -- is she wrong?

Also, can anyone share information about her chances of adopting domestically as a 42 year old single woman?

Thanks for any basic guidance you can provide. My friend is largely responsible for my decision to go ahead & try to have a child a few years back despite instability in other aspects of my life, so I would really like to help her become a parent too. She has just split with her partner of 3 years in part because he was not willing to have kids with her.

Thanks!

Lisa

[Eben'sMama]

I work as an adoption social worker for a private adoption agency that specializes in infant adoption and I can tell you that there is no restriction on interstate adoption. In fact, we do several adoptions each year where the baby is born in California, but the adoptive parents live in New York, Boston, etc., so that is where the baby will grow up.

Also, being a single woman of 42 looking to adopt is VERY common. Of all the age ranges of single women looking to adopt, I'd say 40-45 is average. In fact, I just did a relinquishment signing last week for an adoption where the adoptive Mom was single and about 42. It may take a little longer to find a match as a single woman, as lots of birthparents, especially birthmoms, want their babies to have what they feel they cannot give them--which often includes a 2-parent family. However, single women and men adopt all the time and it's just important to remember that everyone (that is: everyone who is approved for adoption and who completes the homestudy process) gets a baby eventually and that when the match is right and it's meant to be, you will end up with the baby you're supposed to have. HTH...

[BCFD]

She also may want to consider the fost/adopt system. We were placed with 3 newborns, but I also have a partner and am a SAHM. The fost/adopt system in CA places in a lot of single family homes, so it's at least worth looking at. Good luck to her!