I DETEST trains!

[Max'sMama]

Here is my issue. Trains, ds has a thing for trains and I have had it with him making the train whistle and the choo choo and the 'alllllll abooooard' sound CONSTANTLY everyday, all day, incessantly.

I ask him over and over to desist in a variety of ways other activities, redirection, humor, let is sing a song, craft time, etc. One of the things is, he SCARES other adults and children with the sound, it's SO loud and annoying. If we are at the indoor playground other adults will look at him like he has two heads and then search for 'that' child's parents. When we are at home, the dog will leave the room his sister gets all overwhelmed.

Seriously, it's loud and honestly one of the more grating of sounds a little person can make. My GD problem is in trying not just getting mad and yelling for him to stop. I ask and ask and redirect and short of getting rid of ALL items relating to I don't know how to get him to stop with the obsessive sounds.

Really it's so on my nerves I want to scream. I try the 'that sound is for outside or your room only', stuff like this but nothing is working, he is truly train crazy. I can understand that remembering not to is something I cannot expect of his three year old brain, but he knows that it annoys me and often will do it just to p*ss me off. Which he just did, as if on cue:

So, suggestions? Unfortunately 'tuning it out' is something I have been trying to do, getting time for myself, I try to do so whenever possible but the sound is so often and loud and uggggh.......

Maybe I am just venting and need to hear that 'this too shall pass' or you are not alone It does feel better to get it out and remember that this is probably very age appropriate behavior, it's just driving me INSANE!

[WuWei]

Our son loves trains also. There is one sound that he makes that just grates on my everloving last nerve. It is a cross between a fog horn and a tug boat to my ears; it is like nails on a chalkboard. Such a big sound from such a little guy, and I want to run screaming from the room. Is that something like the sound you are experiencing? : What I have observed is that ds is generally doing it as a self-soothing tool to override an otherwise emotionally intense situation, such as playdates with too many people, too much commotion and too much noise. He is very auditorily sensitive, can replicate different train sounds even, amazingly. And can identify every instrument in the orchestra by sound. Thus, when we are in an environment with a cacophony of sounds, voices, and noises, he is overwhelmed with discerning ALL of them, and blocking them out is difficult. So, he self-soothes by creating a rhythmic or overriding sound that creates order to the sound-madness. He also likes to tap, tap, tap (usually loudly) for an auditory focal point.

He'll also do this when stressed due to other's emotions. He is very emotionally sensitive to other people's stress. He is acutely aware and distressed when others are upset. I learned that he is highly sensitive and that this is a gift of increased emotional awareness. Certainly an asset as an adult. http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm Here is a web site describing highly sensitive children. There is a little quiz to see if the characteristics are similar to your son's.

The other time ds loves to make the sound, is if I am occupied and he wants my attention. It is like a fire alarm for getting my attention!! So, "it works" to accomplish what he is attempting to do. We have worked on several things to help decrease his need to use that disturbing sound: 1) decrease my disturbed reaction; 2) meet his need for attention proactively; 3) give him other words to communicate his needs; 4) attend to his need when first able, so that the sound isn't as necessary.

For situations where the stimuli is too overwhelming to him, we create opportunities to get together with people on a more personal, rather than crowded basis. We avoid large auditorium situations where the noise is echoing and amplified. For situations where the sound is unavoidable, we bring noise protectors, ear plugs or music or a portable DVD player, to give him something soothing to hear, instead of creating the "soothing" (to him) sounds. As an introvert, ds does not like busy, crowded activities anyway, unlike me, an extrovert.



Hope that helps,

Pat

[LynnS6]

I hate to tell you this, but it doesn't go away for a long time. It appears just to change. We went through a garbage truck phase (not too bad, as mostly we had airbrakes and the compacter), a train phase and are now in the worst of all -- fire trucks! He can do the electronic and mechanical sirens. And does. Constantly.

Ds, too, has a remarkable ability to replicate any sound (perfectly on pitch too -- wish he'd use that musical talent to sing!) He had his teachers convinced one day there was a firetruck outside!

I agree with Pat that it is also partly related to sensory issues. Ds is highly sensitive and has some issues with sensory integration (aka sensory processing). Constant making of sounds is one of the 'symptoms' of sensory processing issues -- if they make the sounds, it blocks out the ones that bother them. Alas, it's also a symptom of a preschooler! If your ds is highly sensitive, it's likely that someone else in the family is too, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's YOU!

We've had a fair amount of success is asking him to modulate his sounds. If he wants to do them loudly, then he has to go into the playroom. If he's with us, it has to be tolerable. Asking him to stop is useless. Asking him to be more quiet does work.

Your son is younger so it may take more work. I would actually practice 'indoor' and 'outdoor' voices -- stand on the doorstep, take a step outside and yell loudly. Then take a step inside and talk normally. Do this for about 5 minutes (your neighbors will think you're nuts, but your kids will love it). Then spend about a month reminding him about 'indoor voices'. Make sure he gets lots of outside time where he doesn't have to be quiet.

[Max'sMama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Alas, it's also a symptom of a preschooler! If your ds is highly sensitive, it's likely that someone else in the family is too, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's YOU!

You are probably right on with this statement! I have always been overly aware of noise.

Thank you both for the wonderful replies. It is nice to know that I am not alone!

[oliversmum2000]

maybe you could get him a tape or cd of songs about trains that he could sing along to - maybe loud singing would be less irritating or scary. the only one i can think of off the top of my head is the runaway train, but what about a book on tape with atories about trains, we have a thomas the tank engine tape of stories which my boys liked when they were more interested in trains.

[425lisamarie]

We have trains everywhere here too, and any kind of contruction/logger/fire truck around....but I make the sounds and play too :

[DetroitMom]

: : I'm sorry. I'm laughing so hard because it's the same at our house! DS at 4, has gotten better about using an "inside voice". As far as it being self-soothing nope, just playing at our house (and his cousin when they are together). I read somewere the boys will make sounds, just to make sounds. If you need a break with volume control check out the "Kids Love Trains" videos. DS loves them! We took them on vacation (wedding in TN) with us and were playing them with some of the grooms uncles around. There's DS and 3 men over 50 all rivited to the TV, the guys thought it was a "really well put together PBS show" they didn't know we had put in the video, they ended up watching all 3 we brought

[Melis]

Oh, you are SO NOT ALONE! My boys have gone through all the transportation phases, but dinosaurs win hands down for park nightmares. My 5yo is currently immitating NASCARS and he's really good at it which means I could use some earplugs (or a drink)! By the end of the day I am so sensitive to noise that I am constantly saying to DH, could you PLEASE lower your voice? : He just looks at me like I'm nuts!
Hang in there! (((hugs)))
Melis

[Fairy4tmama]

my kids have a trian fetish too... when they get on a kick making THAT noise I pull out this really cute book we have called "Chugga Chugga Choo Choo" and we read it or if we're in the car I recite it. The story is written in a rythem that mimicks the sound of a train and when we get to the train noise we wisper it, that seems to get them off the noise making kick, we also sing I've been working on the rail road and a few other train songs, but alas I don't think my kiddos are doing it to block stimuli so YMMV

[NamastePlatypus]

SAme thing here. I hope he gets over it before he REALLY learns how to control his volume. He is only 21 monthes so we will see!!

[sapphire_chan]

Would he be willing to pretend to be a train conductor?

Could you find a video of Japan's bullet train? I understand those are pretty quiet.


If it's a sensory issue (and I could *totally* see that, just wish my little brother's sensory issues hadn't manifested that way--would've been less troublesome to my sensory issues ) then maybe earplugs for *him* would help.