This is really tugging at my heartstrings. My best friend spanks her ds. He's 3 1/2 and I know that she and her husband have been spanking for awhile now. It started as slaps on the hand when he started crawling. For instance, if her would go over to something that he wasn't supposed to touch, or that could hurt him, he would get a slap on the hand. As he got old enough to walk, it progressed to a single swat on the rear. Eventually, it moved on to a full blown spanking. She told me that it was for times when he was putting himself in danger, like running out in the street or climbing up on something unsafe. They have another ds, who is about 8 months old now, and I wonder if he is getting hand slaps yet for simply exploring his home. 
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I don't know what to do. It is affecting me in a very strong way. In fact, so much so, that I've stopped wanting to spend time with her. I mean, this is a woman who has a masters degree in fine arts and teaches at a university. I would expect her to be smart enough and creative enough to find a different, more compassionate, and more effective method of discipline. I know that education shouldn't really make a difference. It just appalls me that someone who has taken such great steps to refine her life is resorting to such a barbaric practice as spanking!
What really gets me is, when she tells about spanking her ds, she says things like, "I told him not to climb in the baby's crib (they don't cosleep). I told him that if he did it just one more time, he would get a spanking. Of course, he did it, so I spanked him. And he was just devestated (giggle) and had a little crying fit. But he hasn't done it again!" It just floors me!! Why on earth would anyone want to devestate their child?
I just don't know what to think or what to do. Even though we're best friends, we have always had a strict, unspoken code about not butting in to each other private affairs. Although she did try pretty hard to convince me that I needed to send my dd to "mother's day out" a few days a week, even though I choose to be a SAHM, and now I'm a WAHM. She's a firm believer that parents need time away from their kids to "get things done." Please, I get enough done, thank you. Then at a party, she made a sarcastic comment about me. Something like, "Oh no, she would NEVER put her in daycare, heavens no!" Like she's offended because I don't want to spend time away from my dd. As if my parenting style is an insult to her?
It's just confusing. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
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:I don't know what to do. It is affecting me in a very strong way. In fact, so much so, that I've stopped wanting to spend time with her. I mean, this is a woman who has a masters degree in fine arts and teaches at a university. I would expect her to be smart enough and creative enough to find a different, more compassionate, and more effective method of discipline. I know that education shouldn't really make a difference. It just appalls me that someone who has taken such great steps to refine her life is resorting to such a barbaric practice as spanking!
What really gets me is, when she tells about spanking her ds, she says things like, "I told him not to climb in the baby's crib (they don't cosleep). I told him that if he did it just one more time, he would get a spanking. Of course, he did it, so I spanked him. And he was just devestated (giggle) and had a little crying fit. But he hasn't done it again!" It just floors me!! Why on earth would anyone want to devestate their child?
I just don't know what to think or what to do. Even though we're best friends, we have always had a strict, unspoken code about not butting in to each other private affairs. Although she did try pretty hard to convince me that I needed to send my dd to "mother's day out" a few days a week, even though I choose to be a SAHM, and now I'm a WAHM. She's a firm believer that parents need time away from their kids to "get things done." Please, I get enough done, thank you. Then at a party, she made a sarcastic comment about me. Something like, "Oh no, she would NEVER put her in daycare, heavens no!" Like she's offended because I don't want to spend time away from my dd. As if my parenting style is an insult to her?
It's just confusing. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
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