"Well, if you were a mother..." - Page 3

[mamaofthree]

I have to say that you will see things differently when you do have kids... but that does NOT mean you will want to hit them. I think if you go into parenting with the mindset that you will not hit, then you are more likely to not do it. If you have read about the stages of child development you are more likely to see what is going on when your kids are acting all "weird" and making you crazy. I wish I had done more reading. I have had some very crappy mommy moments that I would give anything to go back and change.
I think it is the same for marriage... you don't really know what it is like to give yourself to someone 100% until you are married (or living together in a commited relationship). You don't know what it is like to be with a child 24/7 giving them all they need until you are doing it... but like I said it isn't like you have no idea what sort of parent you want to be, or that some stuff is just wrong. Does that make since? I am not trying to start a fight at all.
I just had sooo many ideas in my head before I had kids and now with #5 on the way.... well things have changed for sure. AND you know, each child is different (not saying that hitting is OK at all) you may have one that is a "angel" and another that is a loonely (I have all of that and everything in the middle. LOL) I couldn't say when my dd was born how hard it was to have a spirited child, because she was so easy... then ds#2 came along... man! That boy will try my patients at every turn. He has made me a much better mommy for sure.
Anyway...

H

[bec]

Before I had kids, I was positive that I would spank. Having my daughter, staring into her beautifully innocent infant eyes, I had the revelation that I would NEVER hit her. Never. I've had two more daughters in less than 5 years, and I remain firm on that one. I'm still on a gentle discipline journey (especially as my patience is frayed by 3 very active young girls!), but I am always striving to do better, be more compassionate, more loving, more kind. These are the traits I want to teach my children should come from a mother. It boggles my mind that people think that you would want to go in the other direction.:

[asoulunbound]

now if I just got a tee-shirt/bumper sticker/etc. with one of those phases one it...

[nd_deadhead]

I haven't read all the responses, so I hope I'm not being too repetative.

How about something like this:

"I understand that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. I also believe that children are a precious gift, to be cherished and nurtured. That's why I have already made a promise to myself to never hit a child (mine or anyone else's), and I am already learning about ways to raise a child without using violence.

[CityGranola]

I am a FTM. I was spanked as a child. I harbor no ill feelings toward my parents.

That said, I always said I'd be a spanker. Then, I birthed my son. My most precious gift, the light of my life, and the reason I get up in the morning. I once yelled at him (he was in danger - although it was my fault, which made it that much worse - he was going near a spill of Windex... I yelled "No!" so he didn't get in it.) He cried for 30 minutes because I yelled that at him - one word. So, we're pretty much as gentle as it gets here!

Even a stern word will cause the flood gates to open, and he's 22 months old now. The other day I said, "Jackson, we don't hit. Hitting is not nice." He cried.

So, you think I spank? Heck no! I really do not think I could do it, even if I tried. I just couldn't physically do it.

I'll admit that I get frustrated with him - he's very rambunctious, not to mention he has mild sensory issues so things are that much more special with him. He us stubborn and strong willed, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Actually, this is the one thing I've changed my opinion on the most drastically. I've become far more AP-minded since having my son. So, I can say you may change your mind once you are a mom, but I really, REALLY doubt it!

I like the responses about knowing I wouldn't cheat before I married (still married, still have not cheated!) I also like the ones about husbands spanking the wives... So, I have nothing wittier for you, just sharing that I changed my mind - but for the opposite side - from pro-spanking to adamately anti-spanking.