10 yo DS being picked on

[sweetymom]

10 yo DS came home today and told me 2 boys in his class frequently tease him calling him shorty and big head. He is shorter than most of the boys and most of the time he can handle a comment made about his short stature but the teasing has really hurt his feelings. I've said soothing words to him and suggested choice he can make the next time it happens. I also just e-mailed his teacher and plan to talk with her about it after school. Anyway any suggestions about dealing with this issue? Thanks

[RBinTEX]

Don't you hate that! It almost hurts mom more than it does the child! Stuff like that would drive even the most peace-loving parent to daydreaming about wringing those little bullies necks!

You are doing the right thing helping your son think of some options when confronting those little "angels." Letting the teacher know is also a good idea. Unfortunately, he is at that age when stuff like that will happen more and more. When kids are able to handle it on their own, it really boosts their self esteem.

My kids have always found humor helpful. "Yeah, I need a big head to hold my superior brain." My short 14 year old says, "I may be short, but your girlfriend doesn't mind bending down to kiss me."

[chloeM]

Funny!!!

[teastaigh]

Good job on getting involved!

So, so many parents are just checked out of this kind of thing.

I'm a bit sensitized right now.

Enlisting the teacher is a good way to go. Also, work with your child on a pat comeback -- a universal one-liner. It'll really come in handy.

Another thing to really emphasize is other areas of positive energy. Make sure that your child has good feedback at home and good connections outside of this situation whether that be at church, in the neighborhood, with extended family, ... While working on the nastiness, it's good to build up the support system.

Please let us know how it's going. Sending warm thoughts ...

peace,
teastaigh

[operamommy]

Originally Posted by RBinTEX

My kids have always found humor helpful. "Yeah, I need a big head to hold my superior brain." My short 14 year old says, "I may be short, but your girlfriend doesn't mind bending down to kiss me."

:


We have a shorty here, too. About 2 years ago he had a real bully in his class. I actually enlisted some of my male friends to help ds1 think of good come-backs. His favorite one was very simple, yet very effective.

Bully:"Blah blah blah, mean mean mean."

Ds:"Wow. Good one!"

Ds said that he only had to use this *one* time. The bully just kept repeating, "It wasn't a joke - it wasn't a joke!" and Ds1 kept repeating his line with a grin. Bully gave up.

It might help your ds to hear that (unfortunately) this can be a common problem. Definately share the stories of our kids in this thread and how they've dealt with bullies. I'm glad you're taking this seriously and being there for your ds!

[ikesmom]

If you think it won't go beyond teasing try to let your ds handle it by showing he is not intimidated. If you think it will escalate into a fight then go directly to the kid and look him in the eyes and say " Its not happening anymore" in a calm and firm voice. You can even ask the kids around him what his name is just to make him feel like he has no support or defense from his peers.

My kid was pushed and choked in the restroom (1st grade) and I won't let it get to that point again. The teacher has her hands full and I know their are times when teachers are no where to be found in the the walkway, restroom, playground ect.