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No one Understands  

post #1 of 10
2/12/07 at 11:09pm
Thread Starter 
I am in such a delima.

I cannot trust my old care providers after the death of our daughter back in October, but because of circumstances I have no choice but to use them to deliver at the Birth Center.

I can either:
1) Use them and the birth center (No OB will take a self pay and deliver there; and no other providers will take state pregnancy insurance that deliver there)
2) Goto a hospital where I have had a horrible experience that put me into a depression after the birth of our first son, and is very much non natural birth friendly.
3) Homebirth

*sigh* this sucks!!!!!!!!

Everyone thinks I am being irrational for wanting a comfortable and relaxing place to give birth in. Say I should just find an OB I am comfortable with and just give up my birth options to the OB and nurses at the hospital...and everything out of my hands....before into an epidural that wont work (they don't work on me, trust me, we have learned) and be in great pain and not able to relax and deliver which will lead to a forced c-section for failure to progress.

That what I want in a hospital doesn't matter, only that I have a OB I trust.

Well, I am sorry, I think you need both...a hospital that is right for you and an OB/Midwife that is right for you...it shouldn't be one or another.

Melissa S.
post #2 of 10
2/12/07 at 11:40pm
I don't have any advice for you but...

You are definitely not being irrational by wanting a comfortable place to give birth.
post #3 of 10
2/12/07 at 11:43pm
I concur. Though DH says I'm picky and it must be the hormones.

Sorry to hear you're in this tough situation.
post #4 of 10
2/12/07 at 11:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamablair View Post
I don't have any advice for you but...

You are definitely not being irrational by wanting a comfortable place to give birth.
i agree with this. I hope you find the exact right care provider, and have a wonderful, fulfilling birth, wherever it is.

*HUG* ,mama.
post #5 of 10
2/13/07 at 12:41am

So Sorry!

I am so sorry you are facing this! I am sort of in the same situation. We lost our baby at 32 weeks largely due to the doctor/midwife that we had. I would never use her again. But just today I found out that my other option will be out of country for a year. I almost cried when I heard this!!!!! I am now thinking that going to the United States is my only option. Ok sorry for talking so much about me!
If I were you I would do a homebirth! I don't think you will be comfortable with your other provider.
I am again so sorry you are dealing with this, I hope we can both find the best solution for our families. Please let us know what you end up doing.
Hugs, Charlsie
post #6 of 10
2/13/07 at 12:58am
big hugs!

Having problems finding a practitioner too. Let's just be happy it's still way early and we have time to have it all work out. Dh was born in a wonderful birth center with midwives. We've moved and I've yet to find a midwife within a 100+ mile radius and everyone I talked to said to go to the next town an hour away.

It will work out. Believe. Concentrate on what you really want and get out of the way and let it happen!
post #7 of 10
2/13/07 at 1:21am
awww...i'm sorry! i'm going through a similar frustration with my chosen birthplace. people just don't get it

what's wrong with your third option, a homebirth?
post #8 of 10
2/13/07 at 1:35am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacey2061 View Post
awww...i'm sorry! i'm going through a similar frustration with my chosen birthplace. people just don't get it

what's wrong with your third option, a homebirth?
I think both my husband I would be fairly comfortable with it, as if there is an emergency we live 2 blocks from the hospital I had my bad experience with.

The problem is that I think my mother would not be thrilled, but she would support when it comes down to it.

My IN-LAWS, will probably get pissed and threaten some sort of legal action against us. They have had issues with our use of a Midwife from the get go with DS1, and they don't let their displeasure remain quiet. They don't follow the same choices we do and do not support them or be supportive of them.
post #9 of 10
2/13/07 at 1:38am
could you just not tell them you're planning a h/b? tell them it was an "oops! the baby was born at home" thing?

FWIW, my mom's gonna FREAK when i tell her we're having one, she nearly cried when i told her i wanted one with DS but couldn't because there was no m/w here at the time. we can brave the naysayers together!
post #10 of 10
2/13/07 at 3:28pm
Melissa, are you feeling any better now that you've had the chance to sleep on it?
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