Shepherding a Child's Heart

[Babes in arms]

Have any of you read this book?

A bible study is starting on it at the church I attend. I'm curious to go. I know that I'll be sitting in a room mostly full of spankers. I want to be a voice for AP there, but am also nervous about speaking out in front of people that I know to be firm believers in spanking. I've got a very close friend who actually uses a paddle. We have many other things in common, but when discipline issues come up, I silently listen to her preach paddling and try to show a different way through my actions. She will be there and I know she's not the only one.

[stanswife]

I've wondered about this book, too. I know in my pre-crunchy and pre-parent days I bought it for a friend of mine. I cringe now thinking he prolly advocates spanking...

[Babes in arms]

Yuck! I just read the amazon reviews. Apparently he preaches that Christian parents must use heavy handed spanking to properly raise their children. I don't know if I'm up for defending myself against such a strong opposition. Maybe a well thought out letter to the pastoral staff would be better. I recently heard of a few Christian AP discipline books. Is there a list somewhere?

[sophmama]

Ted Tripp is very pro-spanking. This book was recommended to me along with the Ezzo stuff and Dobson back when my dd was born. Thank God I didn't go that route. Actually reading the Pearl book set me on a path of research that led me to AP and Mothering.

I don't know that I'd go to a bible study like that and expect to be heard at all. It's kind of like going to a PETA meeting and trying to drop hints about the wonders of your leather coat and steak dinner - it's just not in the same ball park.

The thing you *do* have in common with most of the people going to the group is you all really love your kids and want to learn more about how to be great parents to them. If you can play off that angle, you may still have influence with some of the people there, but not likely the person who is leading the discussion if they're already sold on the book/ methods.

[stanswife]

nak...that makes me want to vomit. i can't believe i gave him my money.

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by Babes in arms

Have any of you read this book?

A bible study is starting on it at the church I attend. I'm curious to go. I know that I'll be sitting in a room mostly full of spankers. I want to be a voice for AP there, but am also nervous about speaking out in front of people that I know to be firm believers in spanking. I've got a very close friend who actually uses a paddle. We have many other things in common, but when discipline issues come up, I silently listen to her preach paddling and try to show a different way through my actions. She will be there and I know she's not the only one.

I was gifted that book twice, and both times it went right into the trash. That book is AWEFUL!!!! Personally, I wouldn't attend a Bible study based on that book....never.

[Swirly]

I have left two churches so far that push that book and its principles. Ugly stuff, imo.

[AutumnMama]

Yuck, I have a friend who has that book. Her church was doing a class on it too.
I flipped through it when I was over there once and it just made my stomach turn a little. Definitely not as bad as the Pearls, but they still heavily advocate spanking as a way to 'redeem' a child, so still ick.

I think they really push first time obedience too, as my friend was saying to her then 11 month old (in his high chair) "Obey, the first time for this is right in the Lord" or something like that
I'm a Christian, and I hate seeing/hearing things like that because it just isn't what God teaches.

[Smalls181]

Originally Posted by AutumnMama

Yuck, I have a friend who has that book. Her church was doing a class on it too.
I flipped through it when I was over there once and it just made my stomach turn a little. Definitely not as bad as the Pearls, but they still heavily advocate spanking as a way to 'redeem' a child, so still ick.

I think they really push first time obedience too, as my friend was saying to her then 11 month old (in his high chair) "Obey, the first time for this is right in the Lord" or something like that
I'm a Christian, and I hate seeing/hearing things like that because it just isn't what God teaches.

No, it certainly isnt! Hitting your child is not biblical, is not Godly. :

[noah's mom]

Hi, if you're looking for book recs I would definitely go with "Biblical Parenting" by Pastor Crystal Lutton (www.aolff.org - great articles on her website too) It's a quick easy read, full of amazing advice/examples, plus she's done a great study on the "rod" Scriptures (which is what so many Christians base their belief in spanking on).

Dr. Sears "Christian Parenting" is pretty good too. I particularly like how he talks about "getting behind the eyes of your child" and learning about what's developmentally appropriate at various ages. What I DON'T like is how he says he doesn't endorse spanking (with reasons why), but gives instructions on how to do it if you still feel you must spank. It's as if he's trying to please everyone. Still, he's much gentler than most mainstream Christian writers.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I was in a Bible Study that wanted to read this book. The leader said it was "light reading".

Needless to say, I left the group after that and so did another mom.

[Spanish Rose]

Some of the stuff is good, like the parts on focusing on the REASON for the behavior and reaching the child's heart. There was a lot about godly communication and such.

But then he seems to reject everything he just said and prevent spanking as a cure-all. The arguments he gives for spanking go directly counter to his teachings, but he still advises it. Into the trash the book goes.