dh and I have been going through hell with dd1 lately... I posted a week or so ago about eating difficulties... anyway, she is now demanding things she knows she can't have immediately.... like if dh is in the bathroom, or one of us is making dinner or something, she demands attention NOW. And when we gently say, just a minute, I'll be happy to give you what you need when I am done peeing/cooking/bathing/nursing,etc, she screams and doesn't stop screaming until she gets what she needs, at which point she tells you that she doesn't need it because it's not NOW, anymore. Also, whoever is taking care of dd2 needs to take care of her, which isn't possible all the time, though we try to fulfill that need. And we are trying to give to her in every way possible all of the other times, cuddling, reading, playing, involving her in meal preparation or diaper changing (both of which she refuses to do)... dh offered to carry her in the mei tai on his back while he made dinner last night and she refused, she wanted him to hold her in his arms.... 
: how do you deal with this?
: how do you deal with this?
) and there is only so much you can do until it passes.
Sometimes the empathizing just isn't enough, but it is still validating and important I think.
