Boys and eating disorders?

[Flor]

Any resources or BTDT? Dss has lost about 15 lbs since September. He is hardly eating. I don't know at what point to seek help and from whom. I really don't know it it is a phase, just some weight loss plus growth, or somehting serious.

[nolonger]

http://www.something-fishy.org/

[Cherie2]

how old is he? this happend to my dd and a few of her friends .. turned out to be drugs.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by Cherie2

how old is he? this happend to my dd and a few of her friends .. turned out to be drugs.

That popped into my head too.

Is he involved in wrestling? I remember my brother was always trying to lose weight to stay in his weight class and sometimes boys would try and lose weight to get into a lower weight class for some reason.

[Flor]

He's 11 and in 6th grade. He doesn't go out with friends outside of school (he's a homebody) so I really think the issue is eating, not drugs. He is not involved with sports. I really think he is trying to look "emo." He is a skateboarder, if anything, and I think it is the look right now. . .tight black jeans, too small shirts, long hair in your face.

[nolonger]

Please keep your eyes open for signs of depression; just because it's fashionable doesn't mean he's faking it.

[Flor]

He's not acting depressed, other than not eating is a sign of depression. He is still cheerful, hangs out with us, engaged in family, A's/B's in school, but won't eat. If he serves himself, he puts two tiny spoonfuls in his bowl. Dh has mentioned to him that he needs enough calories to have energy, needs protein, etc, but other than that conversation, I'm not sure how to react.

[Cx(mummy to be)]

It sounds like you are a close family. My suggestion would be to sit down with him and talk. Voice your concerns with him, and see how he reacts.
As someone who suffered with an eating disorder throughout my teens, I really wish someone close to me would have sat down at the begginning and talked - maybe it wouldnt have gone so far that way.
Good luck

[SwissMama]

I saw an interesting documentary a few years ago, but I've never seen the topic addressed since. It seems most eating disorder resources mention three: bulimia, anorexia, and overeating but fail to mention this one, which i think is more prominent than people would imagine.

The show was about kids and preteens that didn't eat, not because they had a control or body image problem, and not necessarily depressed. These kids did not eat because they felt they didnt DESERVE to eat. Now, if you would ask them, they would think you were crazy, but it would come down to very simple things. Such as an older sibling accusing them of eating the last cookie, a small fight starting, and the next day the child wouldnt eat very much, subconsciously trying to avoid any sort of conflict. Or, the child would do something (and not confess it), such as sneak a peak at another kids homework and feel guilty. Again, if you ask them about it, they wouldnt even know they were doing it, so its not like they actively think "I dont deserve this meal".

So thats food for thought (pardon the pun).

Another cause all together just might be a nervous stomach. Not that the child is depressed or anxious, but any degree of excitement could make them "forget" to eat, or just otherwise be totally uninterested in food. For very sensitive kids, it could be as simple as a show they want to watch or a friend they have plans to play with that day. For less sensitive kids, it would be something like worrying about school, or being heavily involved in sports.

You are right about the look being in right now - the skinny skateboarder look is present in my family as well. And with absolutely nothing wrong, just that he has other interests other than food. I suppose if I were to offer any advice, it would be to look for signs of anything mentioned above, rule them out if you dont think they apply to your son, and then just make sure he is feeling ok otherwise. if he is feeling good (particularly stomach issues), and is still out skateboarding and enjoying his previous hobbies, then it could just be the skinny skateboarder phase.

[Flor]

Thank you Swissmama. I don't know what the lines are. What the difference is between someone who is trying out dieting (but doesn't know much about it) and someone with deep body issues.

[Marsupialmom]

Another issue could be reflux (GERD) or sinuses. If his sinuses are just mildly agitated and they are draining down the back of their throats this can make them not hungry or fell fuller than they are.