some quotesI wish Dr. Sears was here to give his 2 cents on this very matter, so I thought I would try to bring him to us through words form some of his books/site....
don't know if this will help anything....
From Dr. Sears:
a tired couples journey of a consistant night waker:
........tired parents let little one resettle himself before responding immediatley-but put no time limit on how long to let him cry and set no rigid rules on "not giving in." If the cries hit the red alert button they responded. Every night they waited a bit longer and when they did comfort their little one they gave "it's ok message." They also increased their daytime attachment to little one. And they used their baby as their barometer to the method they used, pulling back their nightitme weaning anytime he became more distant or showed daytime upset.
Sleep problems in babies-and adults- have reached epidemic proportions. There are now sleep-disorder centers in nearly every major city, yet the same forced-sleep techniques continue.
"nighttime responsiveness sends your child the message "We care about you at night, just as we care about you during the day.
"up to age three or so, crying once or twice at night is not uncommon. Everyone wakes during the night-when a child wakes and cries it may mean he is experiencing seperation anxiety."
AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.
AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
The physiological effects of sleep-sharing are finally being studied in sleep laboratories that are set up to mimic, as much as possible, the home bedroom. Over the past few years, nearly a million dollars of government research money has been devoted to sleep-sharing research. These studies have all been done on mothers and infants ranging from two to five months in age. Here are the preliminary findings based on mother-infant pairs studied in the sleep-sharing arrangement versus the solitary-sleeping arrangement (Elias 1986, McKenna 1993, Fleming 1994; Mosko 1994):
1. Sleep-sharing pairs showed more synchronous arousals than when sleeping separately. When one member of the pair stirred, coughed, or changed sleeping stages, the other member also changed, often without awakening.
2. Each member of the pair tended to often, but not always, be in the same stage of sleep for longer periods if they slept together.
3. Sleep-sharing babies spent less time in each cycle of deep sleep. Lest mothers worry they will get less deep sleep; preliminary studies showed that sleep-sharing mothers didn't get less total deep sleep.
4. Sleep-sharing infants aroused more often and spent more time breastfeeding than solitary sleepers, yet the sleep-sharing mothers did not report awakening more frequently.
5. Sleep-sharing infants tended to sleep more often on their backs or sides and less often on their tummies, a factor that could itself lower the SIDS risk.
6. A lot of mutual touch and interaction occurs between the sleep-sharers. What one does affects the nighttime behavior of the other.