my 15 month old is super clingy and jealous

[sesa70]

Does anyone have any advise?

My 15 month old never used to be very cuddly or clingy. I would say she was always an even tempered independant soul. Recently she has been more interested in cuddling and being close to me, which generally I appreciate. Very recently, however, she has been showing some behavior changes which I assume are just part of her discovering who she is and testing her limits.

She has become very very clingy. It has gotten to the point that I cant leave the room or be out of touching distance for her, ever. Even with dh. We are seeing what I think to be the beginning of tantrums. She just cries hystericaly when she wants something and whines. So for ex, I was trying to change her sheets and she was grabbing at my leg screaming hysterically for the whole 2 minutes it took

I dont want her to feel rejected or unloved, but at the same time for my sanity i need a bit of space. The whining and crying drives me insane, its one of those things that, for me, push my buttons like nothing else.

The other thing that is concerning me (though I know its normal) is her emerging jealousy of her sister. Every time she sees me near her sister she gets upset, even if she was otherwise entertained and content. She comes running over and tries to get me for herself. I feel badly because my older dd has special needs and is wheelchair bound. So, really, for the past 14 months has gotten the short end of the stick so to speak, with her sister getting the bulk of attention because she can physically demand it, kwim? I dont want to be unfair, my older dd's special circumstances make me especially aware of the inequality of my attentions.

So, oh wise parents what can I do? I have some books requested from the library but they have not arrived yet.

[oliversmum2000]

its hard but it is a stage, well that is what i found, ds 2 became jealous of ds 1 at around this age, and now dd is almost 15 months old i am seeing it again. she tries to get between me and the boys and cries when i hug them.

i am going to be more careful this time not to do what i found myself doing last time which was avoiding situations where i couldnt be immidiately available to the baby, ie cuddling up with the older sib, as with hindsight i think i prioritised the baby more than i ought, i am going to strive for more of a balance, by maybe making her wait while i finish with her brothers sometimes - but it is soooo hard to hear my baby wanting me.

i just try to verbalise, that i love her and that i love her brothers too, and that i know its hard but she just needs to hold on a minute while i do x with her brother, it is important to me they know how loved they are too.

[Shaki]

:
My DD is 15 months and the same way. She's my first though so I'm not dealing with the jealousy part.

[katallen]

Seperation anxiety and testing limits are very normal at fifteen months. Make sure to reassure her that you are there for her and to at least speak to her when you must do something else if it is sending her into hysterics. All you can really do is to spend time when you can and comfort with words when your arms are full. If you do leave her with your husband make sure to not keep coming back when she starts the hysterics. Tell him you trust him to comfort her and let him find his own way. When you keep coming back the hysterics escalate and get very dramatic.

[mummy marja]

I agree, very very normal for a child this age.

Dd went through this at 15 months as well--I was ready to lose it as well--I just needed some space. I talked to a wise therapist who advised me to simply give her all the attention she needed. I sat on the floor to make supper, carried her as much as I could, spent every moment I could with her. Within a week things improved.

I realize this is enormously difficult when you have another child as well, especially one with special needs.