Unschooling Support Thread - Page 8

I'm really glad to find this thread, especially the posts about what is working for you right now. I am a wanna-be unschooler, and I think in many ways I am and unschooler, but lately I've been feeling myself being sucked into the school at home mentality. We have a really great homeschooling support group here that is full of families that I adore, but I don't really know anyone who unschools. Nearly everyone uses Saxon Math and at LEAST requires a certain amount of reading, writing, and math from their kids. They are great families with great kids, so it is hard to avoid going in that direction even though my heart is with unschooling. It would just be really great to know someone IRL that I could call when I'm having a "my kid is behind meltdown" kind of a day.
My oldest attendend Kindergarten and hs'd 1st grade independently working in the books I got from the school. When he started melting down at the mention of schoolwork, I told him to put the books away and we deschooled for a year. I noticed a huge change in him as he approached his 8th birthday. He moped about the house more and separated himself from the play of the other kids. He sought out adult company more and his relationship changed with his siblings from an equal to more of a leader/facilitator. None of these things were alarming to me. I just noticed that he was growing up. I also had a few signs that he needed some mental stimulation. My solution was to get up with him each morning before the other kids and have "study time" together. For the most part, it has been a great experience for both of us and he misses it if we skip a day. My concern is that I find myself getting into the keeping up mentality and the ego soothing of having my kid do something academic every day. "sigh" I decided after reading this thread that I am going to give this time back to him and do what HE wants, no strings attached. And I'm going to quit worrying that his almost 7yo brother needs to dig into academics. How do you get rid of the nagging voice?

Here's what is working for us:
Other than the few morning chores I require, my kids have been playing all day. The greatest thing is that in the past few months, my 2yo has been joining in and they are all so cute together. One thing I rarely do is interrupt my kids if they are all playing happily together. I totally trust that that experience is chalk-full of learning and growth. My girls 4 and 2 have been playing littlest petshops a lot. All of the kids are really into stuffed animals and beanie babies. My boys 8 and 6 will pore over the Lego magazine for hours at a time. My oldest read his first chapter book silently this week: The Littles. He couldn't stand going on to the next chapter without coming to tell me about it. I told him he didn't have to stop if he wanted to keep going and he said, "But I'm so excited to tell you about it because it is so cool!" He was so excited to check out another of the series and get started on it today. We also love reading the Magic Tree House books together. We always put a little picture of the book on our map and one on our timeline in relative places. My 4yo dd is having a little burst of learning how to write. She begs me to do school with her all the time. She has had lots of fun with some books I got at the dollar store that are write on wipe off. She is also getting better and better at dressing herself and doing her chores herself so we have more time to enjoy together. We also have lots of fun playing dollhouse and babies. She's been asking me for months when I'm going to have a baby, and she got really mad last month when she noticed I was on my period Thankfully, we won't be having that problem this month! My 2yo is totally in the cutest phase right now. I just watch her and smile and laugh. She's so full of cute little sentences and ideas! She's way into learning her colors right now, so I got out a couple of color games we have. She'll come ask me a few times a day to play "bears on chairs" or "flip flop faces" She also takes care of her babies and pets in the most adorable manner. We have an awesome creative dance teacher here. Currently my 4yo is taking a class and was encouraged to choreograph her own number that she performed a few times over the holidays. My oldest son is also taking her movement class for boys and they are working on a really cute fireman dance! He also loves to cook and cooks lunch for us almost every day. My 6yo helps in the kitchen a lot and helps and plays with the girls a lot. He has an amazing imagination and can entertain himself so well that he just disappears. I have to remind myself to step into his world every once in awhile so we don't lose touch. He is a great artist, and has had lots of fun with some art books and videos we've checked out. Dh is reading the Narnia series to the kids and they love it. While I was sick, I read Cheaper by the Dozen and Belles on their Toes and found them very entertaining and inspirational. I also read The Scarlet Pimpernell and started A Tale of Two Cities. Now I'm curious about French History. We use the Five in a Row program and have a great time with it. We just use it as a guide for great books and fun ideas that go along with the books. It is sort of a make sure you don't ignore the kids tool for me. We've done some totally great stuff, and nobody is ever required to participate.
Sorry so long! Thanks for reading. I've really needed this.

I can't wait to read about more positive experiences you've all had with unschooling. It is just the kind of support I need right now.

Hey, my guys are like little super-absorbant sponges; they have plenty of energy for play, games, & any amount of worksheets I felt like throwing their way (were I so inclined). These boys love to learn. I don't sweat that by 'choosing' materials for them, in this big wide, wonderful interesting world, it's more or less unschooling than someone else.

To me, it's unschooling, because if they said they were bored with something and wanted to go do something else, they're free to do that. I'm just a facilitator. If I wanted to get all anal & worry about whether what I'm doing with them qualifies for one label or another, I might as well buy (or write) a curriculum. There's mindful, & there's micromindful. They'll keep me on track, if I start throwing boring or stupid stuff in their paths.

I like this thought, thanks.

I just had this conversation with a friend. I started a thread about it.

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Pat

Ruth, I think it's one of the strengths of unschooling. CS Lewis always said if he'd had to pass algebra he'd have never gotten to university. Being able to specialize is a plus.

Maybe your daughter will write historical fiction & bring history alive for thousands! Maybe she will become a great historian. Maybe she will just bury herself in historical fiction for awhile & start getting a good overview to begin a lifetime of learning (not to mention a spectacular vocabulary! )

I know that I have been immersing myself in history since grade school & for nearly four decades, every week has full of stunning revelations; more things click into place. Gaining background & understanding the personalities on the stage of history is so much more important than just memorizing lists of kings & queens & dates of battles.

Understanding the tsars and WW1 & the influenza pandemic and why our children are here, now- knowing what Waterloo was besides an ABBA song & why it happened & what it would've been like to be there (when everyone was bemoaning Saddam's execution, all I could think of was Napoleon's escape from Elba & how many people wouldn't have suffered & died there)...

It's like a puzzle, the pieces keep coming together and filling in the blank spots you didn't even know existed. This is WONDERFUL. Let her read! There will be time to grab enough algebra & science to pass what she needs to pass if she chooses. Be proud!

This is almost what we have with our almost 9 yr old son. Except I can not get him to join anything. I suggest, he says 'no'. He will give me reasons sometimes but from a few words he has offered it's basically a confidence issue and he is afraid of not being good enough. I was the same way. I do not know what --- if anything, I can do.

sorry i cant be of more help but hey, You're not alone -Angelbee and I are wondering too.

OT: Could your children be highly sensitive, especially to other's emotional agenda of performance based "success"? In environments where the focus is competition, rather than joy, perhaps, your children do not enjoy the negative feedback they and others receive from well-meaning mentors and coaches. (ie. 'You need to focus on the ball.' 'Toward the goal, no turn around, the other way, toward the GOAL!' 'Ok, you all missed the ball, you need to keep your EYES ON THE BALL!') This type of feedback for a highly sensitive child is perceived as excruciating criticism, although it is part and parcel of team playing. My highly sensitive dh and ds shine in environments where they are not exposed to other's emotional angst, even toward a positive goal, especially when there is "constructive criticism" experienced. Their emotional barometer is such an asset in interpersonal relationships; but is a liability when others are upset. And I have learned "upset" is a much lower degree of emotional angst for them, than for me.

Basically, it sounds like an *environmental* issue, not a characteristic liability, imo.

Pat

Ruthla, I wouldn't worry. With unschooling there is nothing to "do" really. You have things available for her, and she will choose what is right for right now.

My daughter went through a phase from approximately the age of 9 through 14 where she wanted only to read.....so we're talking 5 full years of doing nothing but reading. She too loved historical fiction (as do I) and read day in and day out. And then, when she turned 14 she decided she was ready for community college and began taking classes. And here she is, 18 years old and almost has her degree. And what's funny is that math was not a problem in college...she just began with the entry level course and learned it, then worked her way up.

I'm having fun watching my 5 1/2 yo live and learn. He has been enjoying manipulating numbers in his head. Mostly he is doing addition and simple multiplication, although he certainly understands subtraction. A couple month ago, he went from adding 2 numbers together to 3 and more numbers. Sometimes he asks me what some numbers add up to such as 2+4+8=. Then he might tell me a different combination of numbers that comes to the same total, thinking if that equaled 14, then 2+4+6+2=14 also. Sometimes he comes up with the wrong answer but his thinking process is right and he usually self corrects.

He is learning to read by playing video games . He has quite a list of sight words like game, start, fire, and tank . He has become more interested in having me read books to him, as well.

Hey, I don't know if you all are aware of the Peace Activism message board ai makoto. http://www.aimakoto.org/phpBB2/ It is a public board with *only* an unschooling/deschooling forum. No school-at-home discussions have been hosted there. It is not a Sandra, et al site. Nor is it an HEM site, where "everything is unschooling". Also it is open for respectful debate and in depth discussions of the nuances and practical applications of the unschooling "living is learning" philosophy.


Pat

Our 5.5 year old does not like to perform and we accept that. And he's also a homebody. He tried martial arts but that evening got a stomach bug and associates MA with puking. We did soccer and he had fun at practice but it took him a bit to enjoy game days. Now he's playing basketball and he's having loads of fun.

He told us he didn't like one of the soccer coaches and the times he didn't want to do soccer were the times that coach was there. He really likes the basketball coach.

Isaac is also one that doesn't like to do something unless he feels confident enough that he's really good. He had reservations about basketball because he thought he wasn't going to be good enough. We are very fortunate that he has a coach he likes and the focus is having fun and learning the rules.

I wish I could be more help, but we felt similar until we hit on bball.

I am glad to hear about your dd's success! -really inspiring and validating. -and wow, i cant imagine going to community college at 14.

Unschooling Around the World

Would members of your unschooling family get a kick out of sending and receiving postcards from other unschooling families around the world?! That is the purpose of this new group -- to unite unschooling families from across the globe through tangible tokens of Joy delivered right to the mailbox! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unscho...roundtheworld/

We have unschoolers from New Zealand to South Africa, from Austria to the US who are participating. Just add yourself to the database and start sending postcards, as many and as often as *you* choose!

Pat

im glad to have found this thread. ive learned a lot ang might consider unschooling.

Ohh my Dd likes historical fiction too! She went through a phase where she read a lot of those "diary" type fiction books. We loved one about the Oregon Trail, but I can't recall the name just now. She also read many American Girl stories.

Do you guys watch TV or get the newspaper or online news? We get a lot of our current events that way. We also get some of those things from the monologues of late night TV shows, oddly enough.

"What is he talking about? What did Guiliani say?"
"They are banning bottled water?? Where?"


My kids don't ever "do" science. I suppose it comes up some on it's own occasionally though. We had a discussion about cheese and mold via an unpleasant discovery at lunch. Surely that must count for something.

moving away from UNschooling?

I feel like we are moving away from unschooling here, : because we are now going to be taking several classes. My DS wants to take a science class, (OK, one of his heroes is Bill Nye) but he is also going to take a kindergarten experience class, we visited once with a friend (it was snack and story time and now he wants to go for the snack and story) and a class about Knights/dragons/castles that he heard about. Granted, each class is only 1 hour a week, but I can envision a day he may want to go to a full time school. : I know its less than if he went to full time Kindergarten, but I don't like having our week so scheduled already!!!!

OH!Am I glad to find this thread!I was just browsing thru the forum, and was feeling super claustrophobic after about 3 threads!YIKES!!!It's like a bunch of independant private schools out there!I thought I was a homeschooler,but I'm pretty sure now I'm an unschooler.We just like to learn! So glad I found you!